First point - change the fame stat? Or make a whole new one. Like I say I find it bizarre anyone would waste a character for a fame point. How about you get the single fame point for choosing the option and dying, regardless of whether you should get three, and it counts as the non-legendary hero death? Pretty much sorted. I won't begrudge anyone a single fame point if it means so much to them.
Second point - forcing .. some guy in the other noble's unit? Let's face it, all of this "Yeah my character totally >killed/wounded/captured< that other guy personally" we see is such rubbish. It's the unit that kills the Hero. It's the unit as a whole that is noted as doing so. The chances are 'Just some guy' in your unit is the one who does the wounding/killing/capturing. Easy enough for anyone to 'avoid' the responsibility if they want to or claim it if that so floats their boat. Jesus .. it's .. a Battle. People Kill Other People. If their character doesn't like the idea of that maybe they shouldn't be fighting ;p
Thirdly - A certain, specific way? Like having a tiny amount of autonomy about whether your character stands his ground and dies or retreats? Having this option is about the same amount of choice as actually setting travel to take part in the battle anyway. Or as simply pressing "delete". The difference is the realm sees it as a hero death. The continent sees it as a hero death. It's noted in the Battle reports, it can be put up on the realm Wiki. It plasters itself onto your Profile as a big, indisputable banner ... simply "Deleting", regardless of whatever sentiment you may wish to express in the deletion message to your realm, doesn't say it's a Hero death, and doesn't note it as such. It just says "He snuffed it". If you're all in favour of people deciding their character's died in the battle .. why not simply make it so they >can< say that.
"My father died in Battle!"
".. Not according to your family page"
-sigh.
