And yet completely wrong. The only reason you think it's simple is because of your amazingly shallow characterization of rulers as egotistical, power hungry, control freaks.
I could say that must be a joke, but it seems you believe in it to some extent
very little effort is needed, if you are not obsessed with some presumptions, to see that what you call "shallow characterization" is intentionally simplified presentation of in-world logic most could agree about.
however, if you seemingly completely disregard background and are willing to declare it proudly, than, of course, there are little means to agree about anything with you.
if rulers are not
egotistical, power hungry, control freaks, what else they should be in-game environment? they can hide their traits with more or less diplomatic and rhetoric ability, but if they do not have such traits, they are nothing but tasteless slots, creators of boredom, and lol, in that respect i can understand if you feel some of my thoughts as dictates - you simply do not want to be bound with any in-game logic, and than all that remains are fine buddies who do fine things and expect other to do fine things in return. which is nothing, no stories, no agendas, no troubles, nothing to do outside that "fine" agenda which in its core wants to avoid any clash in advance. perfect formula for 80-men realms where nothing ever happens.
calling ruler egoistical and power hungry is oxymoron, as you call priest "obsessed with spiritual subject" or soldier "someone prone to violence" i do not know whether you see how awkward such approach is.
again, secession is act of denying ruler's power, and it may or may not end in war, it certainly depends on circumstances, but saying that it is ok that ruler plans or initiates secession is in my opionion completly awkward and disregards very basic character traits, which in not my dictate, but "dictate" of game background.
and if you do not care for background at all, we have what we have on some continents - tasteless and shapeless slots who press their buttons in utter silence, and there are no means to do anything to fight against complete boredom.
you cannot play game ic if those around you or those in power have no any ic agenda (
dictate).