I don't think the possibility of losing it all was ever present before the fourth invasion, but I wasn't there before the third, so I can't really say for sure.
However, losing one's character without being a hero was never part of the deal. Agreeing to risk losing your realm and such things are one thing, but the risk of losing one's character is something completely different. Because, yea, realms would die. But everyone would always survive, move on to other realms, and then scheme recolonization. Mixing blood like that was a good thing to keep things alive, imo, and RP rich.
Due to all the deaths we had last time, it wouldn't have mattered if the lands weren't blighted, there wasn't enough nobles left for large waves of colonizations anyways.
