Now we are starting to touch the reality. Just like modern systems a Ruler needed to balance many factors. Ensuring he had the support of his nobles, keeping those that weren't all that happy with him from outright rebellion, ensuring he had the forces and support to face outside threats, all while ensuring he didn't create new threats within his own realm. He might be willing to grant Baron Von Management some more land due to his proven support in military matters and competence in providing wealth from the lands, but at some point he will start having to be concerned about just how much land and power the noble holds, or be concerned about just how friendly he is with with a group of nobles known to be discontented with the current system or what have you.
The granting of lands and titles wasn't some simple thing with a one size fits all policy. So much would depend on the competence of the ruler, the domestic conditions, foreign conditions even cultural expectations. A competent ruler would balance all of these things while pursuing his own goals, and land and titles is but one tool to cover many aspects of ruling.
Yes, this is definitely it. Alanna pulled this off to a very good degree while she held power in PeL. She even gave Brom a Duchy hoping to appease him, while knowing he was a rival at the time. Even better, (although less real life backing) she gave him a Ducal seat to remove him from his position as Judge. So, giving lands can work both ways.
