I think the subtraction from the family gold is a good idea. Yeah maybe the character will just replace it, but he will not be seen to have the right to as it would compromise his ability to upkeep a decent unit, which we will then defer to the normal customs of "Hey !@#$%^&, why did send the gold back to your family that I just gave you!" or in more noble terms, "You are not honouring your terms as my vassal by not defending my interests etc etc"
