What it really comes down to is that realms need to learn to mind their own business, and keep their noses out from where they don't belong. Stop trying to line up 4 allies before you go to war with your neighbor. Be willing to accept small gains and small losses, rather than dish out crippling damage.
Its too late for that, everybody else would be in their alliance block, you attack one without getting allies, they are still going to all attack you.