To be honest I see no issue at all with how the other player reacted, as Dishman says, the title Earl is perfectly suited and your taking offence at this should warrant his character taking offence at your taking offence.
Also I also don't see why you brought the OOC matter up. There should be no need for you to explain why your character is acting like a dick, it's his job to interpret this. Although I personally believe the whip should not be used on newcomers to the realm so soon, especially threatening to exclude him from certain positions, but then, it is your character.
