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Atamara Politics for Five Year Olds

Started by Dante Silverfire, June 21, 2013, 05:54:36 PM

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Dante Silverfire

Taking from the Dwilight example, I think it best if all of AT's political actions to be explained from the point of view of 5 year olds. They certainly don't make sense for any other age group. I'll start:

CE, Tara, Strombran, and Coria are throwing rocks to annoy and bully Darka.

Coria: Why are we hurting Darka?
CE: Because they are big bad and evil
Tara: Because CE told me to do it.
Strombran: Because CE told me to do it.
Coria: Well, I figure if we're going to be beating people up, I want a better bully name. You can call me Silnaria now!
Silnaria: To prove I'm just as much of a bully as you, I'm going to beat up my sister Shanny. *starts throwing rocks at Shanny*
Tara: Stop it! Shanny is my bestest friend!
Silnaria: But...you've always hated Shanny...?
CE: Stop it! I thought we were beating up Darka, not Shanny! I want to beat up Darka!
Silnaria: I thought we just got to beat up whoever we want...? I want to beat up Shanny!
Strombran: So...(looks at CE)...who do I throw my rock at?

Talerium is sitting off to the side watching fervently as the sales from his "Deadly Rocks for 5$" stand starts increasing its profits.
"This is the face of the man who has worked long and hard for the good of the people without caring much for any of them."

Geronus

Quote from: Dante Silverfire on June 21, 2013, 05:54:36 PM
Talerium is sitting off to the side watching fervently as the sales from his "Deadly Rocks for 5$" stand starts increasing its profits.

Easily the best line.

Eirikr

Where's the line about Darka giggling because it tickles?

;D

Stabbity

Life is a dance, it is only fitting that death sing the tune.

Jaden

Darka is the fat kid who's been hoarding candies and taking punches like it's almost nothing  8)
PM me for the Dota 2 guild.
"Darka would like to thank CE and co for their generous offerings, the Holy Volcano will be filled up for days with all these offerings!"-Jaret Jaron's last words

jaune

Darka : "Hit me you can't hurt me
Suck my kiss socks!"

Line stolen from RHCP suck my kiss.
~Violence is always an option!~

Zadar

CE, Tara, Talerium  later Strombran, and Coria are throwing rocks to annoy and bully Darka.

Coria: Why are we hurting Darka? We should throw rocks to CE and Tara
CE: Because they started this
Tara: Because looted us without war declaration
Strombran: We will support allies
Merlin  : Well, I figure if we're going to be beating people up, I want a better bully name. You can call me NARNIA now!
Narnia: To prove I'm just as much of a bully as you, I'm going to beat up my sister Shanny. *starts throwing rocks at Shanny in the back*
Tara: Stop it! Shanny is my  friend!
Narnia: But...you've always hated Shanny...?
Tara: Nope just you Schmerlin,just you.
CE: Stop it! I thought we were beating up Darka, not Shanny! I want to beat up Darka!
Narnia: I thought we just got to beat up whoever I want...? I want to beat up Shanny and kill everyone who are loyal to the Empire!
Strombran: We will still support our allies.
A plan without a goal, is just a wish .

GoldPanda

No, Darka is the teenage bully who gets his rocks off by beating up five year olds for their lunch money. He keeps a few lackeys around, who serve him in exchange for not getting beat up as often, although it still happens when the bully needs to blow off steam.

Now that the five year olds have wised up and ganged up on him, he's curled up in the fetal position. He can probably still fight back if he had the guts to, but now he's only crying for mommy.

I will gladly throw rocks at this bully. It is justice.
------
qui audet vincit

Lorgan

Stormbran is coming out of this as a mighty interesting realm....

skiarxon@gmail.com

Quote from: GoldPanda on June 22, 2013, 12:31:04 PM
No, Darka is the teenage bully who gets his rocks off by beating up five year olds for their lunch money. He keeps a few lackeys around, who serve him in exchange for not getting beat up as often, although it still happens when the bully needs to blow off steam.

Now that the five year olds have wised up and ganged up on him, he's curled up in the fetal position. He can probably still fight back if he had the guts to, but now he's only crying for mommy.

I will gladly throw rocks at this bully. It is justice.

HAHAHAAHAAHAAHAHAHA. This is one of the funniest posts I have ever read.

Perth

Quote from: GoldPanda on June 22, 2013, 12:31:04 PM
I will gladly throw rocks at this bully. It is justice.

Is Cagilan justice a little like Soviet justice?
"A tale is but half told when only one person tells it." - The Saga of Grettir the Strong
- Current: Kemen (D'hara) - Past: Kerwin (Eston), Kale (Phantaria, Terran, Melodia)

Jaden

Quote from: Perth on June 22, 2013, 05:16:51 PM
Is Cagilan justice a little like Soviet justice?

That may explain why they hate Darkan capitalists
PM me for the Dota 2 guild.
"Darka would like to thank CE and co for their generous offerings, the Holy Volcano will be filled up for days with all these offerings!"-Jaret Jaron's last words

Gustav Kuriga

Quote from: Skiarxon on June 22, 2013, 04:57:44 PM
HAHAHAAHAAHAAHAHAHA. This is one of the funniest posts I have ever read.

What, because of the amount of delusion and self-denial involved? How it could be used to describe CE exactly if you switched around some realm names?

jaune

Quote from: GoldPanda on June 22, 2013, 12:31:04 PM
No, Darka is the teenage bully who gets his rocks off by beating up five year olds for their lunch money. He keeps a few lackeys around, who serve him in exchange for not getting beat up as often, although it still happens when the bully needs to blow off steam.

Now that the five year olds have wised up and ganged up on him, he's curled up in the fetal position. He can probably still fight back if he had the guts to, but now he's only crying for mommy.

I will gladly throw rocks at this bully. It is justice.

Well, i think most contract gold Darka has gotten from Cagilan Empire during these years :) Or Tara, if holding Tarasac is counted.

-Jaune
~Violence is always an option!~

Lavigna

Quote from: Gustav Kuriga on June 22, 2013, 05:45:32 PM
What, because of the amount of delusion and self-denial involved? How it could be used to describe CE exactly if you switched around some realm names?

And this is the best post  :) +1
Suck my socks! I kill for Darka! -KK-