Keep in mind that it is completely reasonable, and logical, that a significantly larger realm (or one with significantly more nobles) should find it easier to achieve victory over a significantly smaller realm (or one with significantly fewer nobles). The changes that we are talking about are ways to help prevent total destruction, or provide incentives to end the war short of total destruction.
Completely true.
If you pick a fight with a significantly larger realm (i.e. Eponlyn V. Perdan in a 1v1 war), or they single you out and you can't get help, you *should* get your ass kicked. We're not here to ensure that all realms have an equal chance to win every war. If that were true, then what would be the point of struggling to become a big, powerful realm in the first place?
Equal chance, no but you should get your ass kicked is an issue with me. Although I am not on the continent so I don't know the specifics. (Is Eponlyn about the same size as Carelia and Perdan=CE?)
If so, then I say how the odds should be in CE's favor by a lot, but currently its just about impossible as I can can't think of a single viable strategy against CE if being Carelia. Carelia vs CE, I can see Carelia never really winning the actual war, but there should be someway to end up in about a draw if Carelia had extremely good strategists and military leadership and all that. Right now, I can't think of a way with even say Caergoth helping that Carelia could end up in a draw. Should it be highly unlikely? Yes. Should be possible with a lot work, skill, and a little luck? Yes. An example would be Sun Tzu where his 30,000 men beat 200,000 men do to military expertise of Sun Tzu over his enemies. Should that particular situation truely be possible in BM? Probably not, but the idea that a smaller realm has a chance against a larger realm without just saying the solution is calling in allies should exist in BM. Am I rambling on a bit too much? Yes.
While we will need to evaluate this feature to ensure that larger realms can't rampantly exploit this feature to make it ridiculously easier to roflstomp smaller realms, in no way is it intended as any kind of ground-leveling feature.
This shouldn't be ground-leveling but it should be balanced in the sense thats its not just a tactic for big realms thats useful for big realms.