The thin line between a nasty character and harassing

[Lychaon]

Hi,

I've been wondering if posting the thing or not, but after thinking how the balance in this case has resulted, I think it deserves some reflection. Knowing that some people have already had some issues with the player involved has made me take the decision as well.

Basically, a newcomer to the game joined Eponllyn (EC) a short time ago. Some time later, an Himoura joined the realm as well. When this first character mentioned that he had a commoner sister because some RP the player had invented, the insults against the character started from the Himoura.

Some of us defended that noble's position, in my case, mostly because of the harsh manner the Himoura was taking the accusations. After seeing some nobles from Eponllyn admonished the Himoura, his character left the realm (after just 3 or 4 days in it)

It would have remained an anecdote if the Himoura wouldn't have carried on insulting and threatening the other character, in what looked like a paranoid personal vendetta. The player ended up by deleting that character.

I'm sure that playing the !@#$%^& character can be really fun sometimes, but I think something isn't working when it comes to the point to "scare" a newcomer to the game. Some experienced players can have some clue about how sometimes IG decisions make things get heated, while OOC you'd have a beer with your opponent. I'm not proposing to be overprotective with newcomers, but after talking so much about BM's need of fresh blood, seeing one leaving because of the behaviour of a character is disappointing. And even more if the characters from that family have such a controversial record.

Briefly, it's okay if someone likes to systematically play the arrogant/quarrelsome/Machiavellian role. But it's not okay when you look like a psycho-prosecutor in a MMORPG, where the target could end up by thinking "okay, f**k this game and all freaks behind".

Sorry if I might have sounded bitter, but honestly this matter has disturbed me, and I think I'm not the only one.

[Stabbity]

There is a significant amount of information missing here. After Artemisisa left for Sirion, declaring she would not live in a realm where the nobility claimed relations to commoners (and being threatened by the judge, and told that it was none of her business [wrong!]) she continued to receive insulting letters from this noble, and so she has taken this to feud level. I, and my character would have left well enough alone if this noble had not continued to attempt to insult Artemisia after leaving. Its not like I left the realm and continued to taunt him on my own. Any letter he's received from me since has been a reply to one of his. He's not the only one who's been sending her letters either. There was another noble who started whining to her about what she did, and trying to get her in trouble with Sirion (which failed miserably).

You play with fire, you are going to get burnt.

[Anaris]

That's all very well, but doesn't absolve you of your responsibility to new players—a responsibility every player of BM shares, but one that the longtime players should be particularly aware of.

The proper first response to a new player's character claiming to be related to a commoner is not to denigrate, insult, or argue with the character IC. It is to send a gentle explanatory message OOC giving a brief overview of the way nobility vs peasantry works in BM. (Short version: Nobles are always nobles. Commoners are always commoners. No exceptions. When an adventurer "becomes" a noble, it's because he proved that he was noble all along, just not recognized as such.)

If the player does not accept this, then there's not a lot we can do about it. However, that should be every good BattleMaster player's first response to a situation of this kind.

[Stabbity]

That is what I did. In fact he sent me an OOC message later thanking me for the info.

[Anaris]

That is what I did. In fact he sent me an OOC message later thanking me for the info.

If that is the case, then I have a hard time finding fault with you in this instance, whatever the outcome may have been.

[Lychaon]

I can confirm the Himoura character quoted the wiki explanations about this matter, and honestly I wouldn't have come with this matter if I'd have had the information Stabbity gives.

The other character complained to the rest of the realm about a personal vendetta that was supposedly started by the Himoura:

Letter from Raedwald Wuffingas   (3 days, 5 hours ago)
Message sent to everyone in your realm (24 recipients)
    Nobles of Eponllyn,

I believe the lady Himoura has started a feud with my house. 'I will destroy your entire house. Root to stem.' As a result I feel I am now a threat to Eponllyn's deal with Sirion and I may be forced to leave you and Eponllyn behind.

    RW
Raedwald Wuffingas
Noble

Letter from Raedwald Wuffingas   (3 days, 4 hours ago)
Message sent to everyone in your realm (24 recipients)
    Nobles of Eponllyn,

The Lady Himoura has also threatened to reveal my sisters location to the king of Perdan. she also mentioned she had connections to him and that she is willing to pass information to him about us as a realm. I believe this is the basis of a spy and 'spy's should be punished with death' as she clearly stated to me in a letter.

    RW

Raedwald Wuffingas
Noble

Maybe I'm wrong, but it didn't look like he had started "playing with fire" by these letters. In addition, as Stabbity says, one of my characters asked for an explanation to the Himoura, and in light of her attitude he informed the authorities in the realm she had joined ("failing miserably" on "trying to get her in trouble" with that realm, or warning it about a rather strange way of proceeding, read it as you prefer).

I will gladly quote the letters of the whole conversation if I'm asked to, in order to better understand the case. I didn't do that at first instance because I wasn't issuing a formal accusation, but pointing (in my opinion) an excessive IG harassment that had resulted into a noble less for a continent re-adjusted precisely due to their lack. If the player actually thanked you after all, which I thought impossible after reading what I read, there's little more to say then.

[Stabbity]

Don't take what my characters say to heart OOC. I play some mean, nasty characters. It is not reflective of my attitude OOC.

[Logar]

Perhaps there is already one that I have not seen, but is it possible to construct a general etiquette guide for the newbies which can be clearly be made aware of. From my own experience, it isn't always straightforward to separate IG and OOC when you are new to this style of game, and can be easy to take offence in some situations.

I believe now though, I have a very good understanding of the separation of the two, but it was not without persistance and learning. It doesn't always come instantly to newbies.

The guide should also include a section for how the experienced players should treat newbies.

[Lychaon]

Don't take what my characters say to heart OOC. I play some mean, nasty characters. It is not reflective of my attitude OOC.

I know, Stabbity- I mean, I don't know you, but I can separate IG and OOC. I've been playing the game for a while and I don't go crying on a corner when IG something doesn't happen as I expected. Some people don't like to play lawful characters, and I understand, even when sometimes it has ruined others' fun, as I've read within this forum.

I'm with what Logar says, a general etiquette guide that at least, makes everyone acquainted to play for oneself's fun, but taking on account the other players' around fun. That's something that, in my opinion, would have saved some cases in The Courthouse.