I'm in a clique right now. I've been in different cliques on and off for about a decade. That's what ruling a realm is, working closely together with people you trust. Is it sometimes hard to earn that trust? Sure. But it's really a matter of seeing opportunities, and using them right.
Before I came to Beluaterra, at the eve of the First Invasion, I hadn't really gotten into the ruling class of a realm yet so that's what I was looking for. I joined a small realm, Old Grehk, and proved my worth during the Invasion, afterwards we expanded and I was made Duke of the capital. Years later with that character's son I found myself outside of the ruling class with them consistently making decisions against my views. I had knights so I up and left to join a realm with views similar to my own, Thalmarkin, which was down on it's luck due to a lack of nobles. I had already been into contact with their ruler for a while so when I arrived, I simply asked to be added to their extended council immediately on the account of me bringing them 8 new nobles and it was done. Then I went on to gear them up for war, got a little recruitment campaign going that doubled our mobile CS to 13k(I say little but it was actually work. Fun though). We were at war with Old Grehk so we went on to raid Ossmat and we took Vatrona. Guess who was made lord of Vatrona?
My point is, there's dozens of realms out there where opportunity is rife. Many realms have under 20 nobles. Join them, bring /something/ to the table and you'll be rewarded proportionally once you've earned their trust. People are not likely to go "oh there's the new guy, I better step down from my position so he can have it"(though my policy has always been one position per family), but earn their trust, show what you can do for them and , ideally, help them acquire new things to give. Be bold and take up responsibility. Don't just suggest what to do but ways to do it. And make sure your suggestions make sense. If they are not perceived to make sense, they probably don't. Those "ruling cliques" have enough sense to know what benefits them, and at least from their point of view by extension the realm, and what doesn't.
If you join a big realm however, like Talerium, it's going to take a little longer to earn your leaders' trust, whatever you bring to the table will be relatively smaller because of all the others doing the same thing. You'll have to either stand out, or bide your time.
And yes, once you've earned a ruling clique's trust, that's inherited by the rest of your family. That gives older players an advantage in some realms, a disadvantage in others. Where it's known, your family's reputation always precedes you, for good or bad. And there's nothing wrong with that since you're playing a family and not a random collection of individuals.
