Let's not go to Taselak's dungeons, tis' a silly place.

[Ossan]

For better or worse, here are the RPs I did as Judge of Taselak (after winning a 3-way tie) a month ago as requested. Some of them were sent to everyone individually (welcome messages, the duck duck goose game) (though I forgot to change sir to Lady for a couple of prisoners who were quick to correct me, sorry!). Also some of them are pretty bad, but it was a lot of fun and I genuinely looked forward to doing more.

Visit   (29 days ago)
While you rot in your cell, Ossam Ossan, Lord Justice and Chief Torturer of Taselak, visits you and says:

As you sit in the cozy and welcoming dungeons of Taselak you are approached by a very strange looking man, dressed like a cross between a jester and a friendly innkeeper turned butler.

"Greetings Sir Balwijn! I bid thee welcome to the Royal Dungeons of Taselak! Are you by chance hungry or thirsty? We have some well aged Moto Vinegar or deWellian Water if you do not partake of alcoholic beverages. To start with we have some hand harvested hay which 9/10 horses in our stable have all given their approval of and provided a bit of salivating dressing. For the main course we have some quickly reheated free-range guaranteed organic llama or quickly reheated pizaz (not too be confused with pizza!). For desert we will skip right to the torture if you're feeling up for it.

You realize that a group of young male bards dressed in black shirts with spikey, blond and brown hair have entered while he is speaking and begun to play a song about "Someday". You fear this may be the band of bardic torturers you have heard about called the "Nickelbards".
You can reply by writing a letter.

Letter from a prisoner   (28 days, 19 hours ago)
Prisoner Joss has sent you a letter:

Meanwhile, in the dank and rat infested dungeons of Taselak, I am approached by a very strange looking man, dressed like a cross between a jester and a friendly innkeeper turned butler.

Such a strange interlude to my isolation thankfully takes my mind off the shame of my capture, to a bunch of jumped up peasant militia no less.

"No doubt my father will have already heard of this unfortunate turn of events and promptly disowned him for such ineptitude...." he thinks to himself whilst the deranged jailer prattles on about dinner arrangements.

I sit in amazement whilst this droll fellow casually offers me soiled hay, something that vaguely resembles a camel, or perhaps a dog of some sort, and a mouldy bowl of (CENSORED).

My vague amusement turns to horror however when a group of young male bards dressed in black shirts with spikey, blond and brown hair enter the cell and promptly begin to assault my senses with inane babble about un-clenching fists, paperback novels and relationship troubles.

As my ears begin to bleed I cry out in desperation, "For the love of god just take me to the rack!!"

(OOC: Quite possibly the most hilarious dungeon experience so far. I'll almost enjoy getting tortured now...)

Letter from Ossam Ossan   (28 days, 4 hours ago)
(Personal message to Giulietta Mozzoni)
Lady Giulietta,

I apologize for my Dungeon Ambassador's mistake regarding your proper title. He shall be punished by having to sleep with the Motos tonight. To make it up to you I will order the Nicklebards to play for you all evening long, featuring their songs "Something in Your Mooch", "How You Remind Moto" and finishing off with "Lullaby" (written by Mooch, he left a lot of poems behind).
Ossam Ossan
Lord Justice and Chief Torturer of Taselak

Letter from Ossam Ossan   (28 days, 3 hours ago)
(Personal message to Joss Whyte)
As you recover from the previous night (or was it day? It's impossible to tell the time down there) the same man enters again but this time at the heels of a much more imposing, sexy and heroic looking fine example of Taselakian masculinity and heroism (sorry ladies, he's married to Taselak).

"Welcome! Welcome to the Dungeons of Taselak Resort & Spa! I hope you enjoyed your earlier entertainment and food, I was in Endelee so I hope that my assistant Mr. Cherry did his utmost to provide you with the finest the Dungeons of Taselak Resort & Spa has to offer here! If you have any questions or concerns feel free to yell them out down the hallway, someone will forward them to me. Enjoy your stay!"
Ossam Ossan
Lord Justice and Chief Torturer of Taselak

Letter from a prisoner   (27 days, 11 hours ago)
Prisoner Balwijn has sent you a letter:

If you are going to torture me, be done with it.

Visit   (29 days ago)
While you rot in your cell, Ossam Ossan, Lord Justice and Chief Torturer of Taselak, visits you and says:

As you sit in the cozy and welcoming dungeons of Taselak you are approached by a very strange looking man, dressed like a cross between a jester and a friendly innkeeper turned butler.

"Greetings Sir Balwijn! I bid thee welcome to the Royal Dungeons of Taselak! Are you by chance hungry or thirsty? We have some well aged Moto Vinegar or deWellian Water if you do not partake of alcoholic beverages. To start with we have some hand harvested hay which 9/10 horses in our stable have all given their approval of and provided a bit of salivating dressing. For the main course we have some quickly reheated free-range guaranteed organic llama or quickly reheated pizaz (not too be confused with pizza!). For desert we will skip right to the torture if you're feeling up for it.

You realize that a group of young male bards dressed in black shirts with spikey, blond and brown hair have entered while he is speaking and begun to play a song about "Someday". You fear this may be the band of bardic torturers you have heard about called the "Nickelbards".
You can reply by writing a letter.

Letter from Ossam Ossan   (28 days, 4 hours ago)
(Personal message to Giulietta Mozzoni)
Lady Giulietta,

I apologize for my Dungeon Ambassador's mistake regarding your proper title. He shall be punished by having to sleep with the Motos tonight. To make it up to you I will order the Nicklebards to play for you all evening long, featuring their songs "Something in Your Mooch", "How You Remind Moto" and finishing off with "Lullaby" (written by Mooch, he left a lot of poems behind).
Ossam Ossan
Lord Justice and Chief Torturer of Taselak

Visit   (27 days, 23 hours ago)
While you rot in your cell, Ossam Ossan, Lord Justice and Chief Torturer of Taselak, visits you and says:

As you recover from the previous night (or was it day? It's impossible to tell the time down there) the same man enters again but this time at the heels of a much more imposing, sexy and heroic looking fine example of Taselakian masculinity and heroism (sorry ladies, he's married to Taselak).

"Welcome! Welcome to the Dungeons of Taselak Resort & Spa! I hope you enjoyed your earlier entertainment and food, I was in Endelee so I hope that my assistant Mr. Cherry did his utmost to provide you with the finest the Dungeons of Taselak Resort & Spa has to offer here! If you have any questions or concerns feel free to yell them out down the hallway, someone will forward them to me. Enjoy your stay!"
You can reply by writing a letter.

Visit   (27 days, 23 hours ago)
While you rot in your cell, Ossam Ossan, Lord Justice and Chief Torturer of Taselak, visits you and says:

As you sit in your luxurious cell a very strange looking man, dressed like a cross between a jester and a friendly innkeeper turned butler enters again but at the heels of a much more imposing, sexy and heroic looking fine example of Taselakian masculinity and heroism (sorry ladies, he's married to Taselak).

"Welcome! Welcome to the Dungeons of Taselak Resort & Spa! If you have any questions or concerns feel free to yell them out down the hallway, someone will forward them to me. Enjoy your stay!"

The strange man approaches you as the Lord Justice leaves. "Greetings Sir Willard, I bid thee welcome to the Royal Dungeons of Taselak! Are you by chance hungry or thirsty? We have some well aged Moto Vinegar or deWellian Water if you do not partake of alcoholic beverages. To start with we have some hand harvested hay which 9/10 horses in our stable have all given their approval of and provided a bit of salivating dressing. For the main course we have some quickly reheated free-range guaranteed organic llama or quickly reheated pizaz (not too be confused with pizza!). For desert we will skip right to the torture if you're feeling up for it."

Visit   (27 days, 14 hours ago)
While you rot in your cell, Ossam Ossan, Lord Justice and Chief Torturer of Taselak, visits you and says:

A Moto bursts into your cell, runs over to you and taps you on the head saying "DUCK!" before running back out. Soon after you hear the sounds of cell doors slamming open, "DUCK!" and then being slammed closed again until you hear "GOOSE!". It seems that one of your fellow prisoners has been released.
You can reply by writing a letter.

Visit   (27 days, 14 hours ago)
While you rot in your cell, Ossam Ossan, Lord Justice and Chief Torturer of Taselak, visits you and says:

You hear the sounds of cell doors slamming open, a Moto yelling out "DUCK!" and then being slammed closed again until you a Moto bursts into your cell and runs up to tap you on the head.

"GOOSE!"
You can reply by writing a letter.

Visit   (27 days ago)
While you rot in your cell, Ossam Ossan, Lord Justice and Chief Torturer of Taselak, visits you and says:

The door to your slowly creaks cell open, the lights are extinguished, and the dungeon is unusually quiet. You hear the sounds of several footsteps, thick cologne and a short twang as a stringed instrument was accidentally bumped into. A sole torch is carried into the room by a Moto (ears stuffed with wax, but you can't see that), and the shiny blond hairdos of the Nicklebards sparkle in the light.

You try and curl up into a ball and plug your ears, but it's too late. I'm so sorry, so, so very sorry, but this wouldn't have happened if you'd joined Taselak.
You can reply by writing a letter.

Roleplay from Ossam Ossan   (27 days ago)
(Personal message to Balwijn Cuvelier)
another Moto stuffs something dry into your mouth

Cause you look so much cuter with something in your mouth

Crafty little lip tricks
(the Moto kisses your forhead)

Tattoos on her left hip
(another Moto appears out of the darkness with a hot brand and stabs you with it somewhere in the general thigh area)

She bending as your spending
(you writhe in pain)

Theres no end to it so baby come on
(self explanatory)

Dressed up like a princess
(you awake later wearing a pink princess dress on top of your clothing)

Bettin' that her skin smells better
Than the scent of every flower in the desert come on
(doused in Taselakian perfumes and colognes)

Dirty little lady with the pretty pink garter
Every sugar lord hittin on her all night long
Doesn't care about the money she could be with anybody
Ain't it funny how the princess wanted you all along

Roleplay from Ossam Ossan   (27 days ago)
(Personal message to Balwijn Cuvelier)
(You can choose what the tattoo looks like!)

Letter from a prisoner   (26 days, 18 hours ago)
Prisoner Giulietta has sent you a letter:

Lord Justice Ossam,

Those Nickelbards are not very good, but you should come to Eledrir to hear my friends and I when we are drunk. Our name is Steel Maiden and you would enjoy our music.

Letter from Ossam Ossan   (26 days, 14 hours ago)
(Personal message to Giulietta Mozzoni)
The Nicklebards are the finest bards in all of the land! They may sound strange at first as your barbaric ears are unaccustomed to our advancements in fine, modern music. I shall have them play for you all day today and tomorrow!
Ossam Ossan
Lord Justice and Chief Torturer of Taselak

Visit   (24 days, 23 hours ago)
While you rot in your cell, Ossam Ossan, Lord Justice and Chief Torturer of Taselak, visits you and says:

You awoken, having had a very comfortable night's sleep in the comfiest chair you have ever sat on, surrounded by beautiful artwork and lullabied by the melodious tunes played by the Nicklebards.

Or at least that seems to be the case for your personally assigned 'Dungeon Ambassador' who is passed out on a chair in your cell. You're huddled in a corner, slowly rocking back and forth, not having slept a wink as the songs and music of the Nicklebards haunts you.

Funky little monkey, she's a twisted trickster
Everybody wants to be the sister's mister
Moto-Cola rollercoaster
Love her even though I'm not supposed to.

She keeps me up (I keep you up)
She keeps me up (I keep you up)
All night (All night)
All night (All night)
You can reply by writing a letter.

Letter from a prisoner   (24 days, 12 hours ago)
Prisoner Giulietta has sent you a letter:

Lord Justice Ossam,

After too many days with these Nickelbards, I feel ready for a duet with them. We have prepared a song: How you release me. We will perform it for you tonight.

Letter from Ossam Ossan   (24 days, 2 hours ago)
(Personal message to Giulietta Mozzoni)
That is wonderful news Giulietta! I look forward to this performance greatly!
Ossam Ossan
Lord Justice and Chief Torturer of Taselak

Visit   (22 days, 23 hours ago)
While you rot in your cell, Ossam Ossan, Lord Justice and Chief Torturer of Taselak, visits you and says:

As you are brought to the dungeons in a fine Taselakian carriage, Lord Justice & First Torturer Ossam Ossan greets you with a big smile and an even bigger hug!

"Sir Maximus! Welcome back! We were so sad you had to leave after the customary 7 day visit, we are very pleased you have decided to stay with us for seven more! With the release of the others and Sir Willard buying his freedom with his remaining 6 gold he somehow still had the Nicklebards were afraid they'd have to go down to the Filthy Nipple for practice!".
You can reply by writing a letter.

Visit   (22 days, 13 hours ago)
While you rot in your cell, Ossam Ossan, Lord Justice and Chief Torturer of Taselak, visits you and says:

You are returned to your old cell, which is exactly as you left it... except now it has some wilted flowers and a meal laid out of the "finest" tripe offered by Taselak. Your heart drops further and further as you listen to the Lord Justice drone excitedly on and on about all of the FUN! times you're going to have here when he is suddenly interrupted by a messenger.

You can pick out the exact moment on his face when his own heart drops, it seems you are to be released. You manage to persuade them to give you the supper to go on the road, and your heart feels with joy as you leave (only for it to be quickly squashed once the Nicklebards play you off).
You can reply by writing a letter.

Out-of-Character from Maximus Penchant   (22 days, 12 hours ago)
Thank you.
<real name here>

Letter from Ossam Ossan   (19 days ago)
Message sent to everyone in the region Taselak (66 recipients)
Ahhh! Welcome to Taselak warriors of Sandalak! Have you come to enjoy our Dungeon Resort & Spa? The Nicklebards are playing a new song inspired by the last sieges of Taselak, "If Today Was Your Last Day" tonight!
Ossam Ossan
Lord Justice and Chief Torturer of Taselak