BattleMaster Community
BattleMaster => Locals => Beluaterra => Topic started by: Iltaran on August 11, 2011, 08:05:20 AM
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In the spirit of "if world war one/two was a bar fight"...
In the aftermath of the last bar fight, everyone is dusting themselves off. Melhed helps Thalmarkin get up.
Thalmarkin looks around and sees Fronen is drinking their beer. They demand that Fronen buy them a new one. Fronen asks what Thalmarkin is going to do about it if they dont.
Thalmarkin glares and goes to sit in the corner. Old Grehk joins them and starts talking about how Fronen stole their drink last week.
Riombara and Enweil start shouting at each other. No one is suprised. Melhed starts talking to itself. No one is suprised.
Bara'Khur falls off its barstool. Fronen takes one of their beers. Bara'Khur wakes up and starts calling itself Nothoi. Old Grehk gives it a hand up.
Nothoi and Fronen glare at each other over the last drink Bara'Khur ordered.
Sint sits down with Old Grehk and Thalmarkin. The three of them start whispering.
Fronen grabs the disputed beer, still staring at Nothoi. Nothoi declares its going to break Fronen's nose.
Enweil accuses Sint of being a murderer. No one takes any notice.
Old Grehk, Sint and Thalmarkin get up and start heading towards Fronen. Melhed screams "watch out", then goes back to talking to itself.
Fronen turns around to face Old Grehk, Sint and Thalmarkin, then doubles over after getting punched in the groin. All three pile onto Fronen, with Nothoi joining in.
Riombara draws back its fist to punch Enweil. Enweil reveals that its actually two people in a trenchcoat and that the shorter of the pair has an unpronounceable name. Riombara punches Enweil anyway.
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This one made me laugh:
"Enweil reveals that its actually two people in a trenchcoat and that the shorter of the pair has an unpronounceable name."
Oh, oh, can I do one for the FEI war? I know this is the wrong forum, but:
Arcaea and Ohnar West are whispering in a corner about how nice Arcachon's beer looks.
Arcachon hurls an empty glass at Arcaea, so Arcaea and Ohnar West go over, swipe Arcachon's beer and take turns drinking it.
Greater Aenilia sneaks over and orders another beer for Arcachon. Arcaea swipes that one, too.
Incensed, Greater Aenilia smashes an empty glass over the back of Ohnar West's head. Arcaea turns around and punches Greater Aenilia in the face.
Zonasa runs over and helps out Greater Aenilia, starting a three-way brawl.
Cathay keeps drinking their own beer and tells everyone else to shut up. No one does.
Kindara glares at Arcaea and dares him to come closer. Arcaea is busy with Greater Aenilia and Zonasa.
Ohnar West is being held against the wall by the much smaller Arcachon and is repeatedly punched in the stomach.
Cathay finishes his beer, walks over and starts drinking Greater Aenilia's beer while every else is busy.
Arcachon tires of beating up Ohnar West and punches Arcaea in the back of the head.
Cathay walks over to where C'thonia is huddled in a corner by himself, punches him in the face and steals his beer.
Arcaea's covered in bruises, but Aenilia looks even worse.
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I'd like to see one for Dwilight. It would put things in perspective, because I'm unaware of foreign history... Anyone?
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Morek and Astrum are in a Karaoke bar, singing "Happy together"
The Springdale posse enters the bar. The leader, Neel, screams "I hate this song!"
Unexpectedly, everyone else in Springdale starts dancing. Neel leaves.
Some people exit the bar and go to Terran. Soon, we hear singing coming from there too.
Aquilegia tries to start its own song. Everybody shuts them down.
Corsanctum and Darfix delay a bit and sing in canon.
Thulsoma tries to stop the singing by blowing in a vuvuzela. This makes the singers angry, and they sing louder. They break the vuvuzela.
Averoth brings out a second one, it's broken too.
Caerwyn and Madina bring their own choir and start singing something else. Turns out they can't sing. They end up background noise.
In fact, Madina and Pian en Luries, which has been sitting in its own corner, start tapping their feet to the song.
Allison the barmaid announces free Kool-aid for everyone.
You feel thirsty.
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Riombara and Enweil start shouting at each other. No one is suprised.
(...)
Riombara draws back its fist to punch Enweil. Enweil reveals that its actually two people in a trenchcoat and that the shorter of the pair has an unpronounceable name. Riombara punches Enweil anyway.
Except that Enweil and Rio didn't argue. Rio just came up to us saying "Hey, we'd like a prisonner agreement. You know, just in case the north drags us into an unfortunate conflict", to which Enweil said "No. If you decide to attack us unprovoked, you assume the consequences of it. We still remember the last time we had a prisoner agreement with you, and it won't happen again." Rio stays silent for a few days, and then declares war on Enweil for it's "imperialism" and whatnot, even though Enweil was being pretty passive and repeating how it desired nothing more than peace.
I've also yet to see any battle occur. What the hell is that Riombaran army doing anyhow?
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I've also yet to see any battle occur. What the hell is that Riombaran army doing anyhow?
Rephrase: What is the Enweilian army doing? And then you have your answer.
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Enweil reveals that its actually two people in a trenchcoat and that the shorter of the pair has an unpronounceable name.
This one was awesome ;D
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Rephrase: What is the Enweilian army doing? And then you have your answer.
Nothing.
Actually, recruiting a bunch, because Rio's CS just spiked and they sent blatantly obvious signs that they'd attack.
Before that, the Western Defenders were in the West, as always, and the Army of Fengen was dealing with the East, as always. Dealing with rogues, civil work, and the like.
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Morek and Astrum are in a Karaoke bar, singing "Happy together"
The Springdale posse enters the bar. The leader, Neel, screams "I hate this song!"
Unexpectedly, everyone else in Springdale starts dancing. Neel leaves.
Some people exit the bar and go to Terran. Soon, we hear singing coming from there too.
Aquilegia tries to start its own song. Everybody shuts them down.
Corsanctum and Darfix delay a bit and sing in canon.
Thulsoma tries to stop the singing by blowing in a vuvuzela. This makes the singers angry, and they sing louder. They break the vuvuzela.
Averoth brings out a second one, it's broken too.
Caerwyn and Madina bring their own choir and start singing something else. Turns out they can't sing. They end up background noise.
In fact, Madina and Pian en Luries, which has been sitting in its own corner, start tapping their feet to the song.
Allison the barmaid announces free Kool-aid for everyone.
You feel thirsty.
Fissoa... :(
I know the realm has been on the sideline forever, but things are moving in the Grand Duchy.
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Except that Enweil and Rio didn't argue. Rio just came up to us saying "Hey, we'd like a prisonner agreement. You know, just in case the north drags us into an unfortunate conflict", to which Enweil said "No. If you decide to attack us unprovoked, you assume the consequences of it. We still remember the last time we had a prisoner agreement with you, and it won't happen again." Rio stays silent for a few days, and then declares war on Enweil for it's "imperialism" and whatnot, even though Enweil was being pretty passive and repeating how it desired nothing more than peace.
I've also yet to see any battle occur. What the hell is that Riombaran army doing anyhow?
A bug is preventing looting.
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A bug is preventing looting.
Is it still? Tom thinks he fixed that.
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I'd like to think that Thalmarkin and OG have also stripped Fronen's body of valuables and cash while it's lying there bleeding, and may also be thinking about knifing them in the ribs. You know, to end their shame.
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Is it still? Tom thinks he fixed that.
We can do normal loot and plunder, we have none of the options such as damage military infrastructure.
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We can do normal loot and plunder, we have none of the options such as damage military infrastructure.
I have them. Did it today, in an Enweilian region.
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I have them. Did it today, in an Enweilian region.
Good to know! I can't check, I'm travelling.
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@Chenier
I'm going to mark that one down as "poetic licence", although I thought there was a argument between Rio and Enweil months back over Rio not helping them out. The Riombara-Enweil dispute is quite possibly the longest running grudge in all of Battlemaster and I'm no expert on it.
As Fleugs has pointed out, Riombara has attacked Enweil. I presume Enweil is still in the process of concentrating its armies before they counter attack.
@Lefanis
Yeah, that was my favourite bit when I wrote it. ;)
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Don't worry too much. It was an excellent last finisher :P
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@Chenier
I'm going to mark that one down as "poetic licence", although I thought there was a argument between Rio and Enweil months back over Rio not helping them out. The Riombara-Enweil dispute is quite possibly the longest running grudge in all of Battlemaster and I'm no expert on it.
Angry stares, but no more. Enweil still had plenty of rebuilding to do. It'd have waited a bit longer before engaging in any war, given the choice, but obviously only to better crush Rio when it does.
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Hmm, reminds me of this comic: http://satwcomic.com/
Coincidentally, the latest comic is about beer.
Someone should do one like this about battlemaster realms. :D
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Could someone do one about Atamara? Don't forget to include Minas Ithil!
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Hmm, reminds me of this comic: http://satwcomic.com/
Coincidentally, the latest comic is about beer.
Someone should do one like this about battlemaster realms. :D
Hah, awesome. This reminds me of when I took a ferry to the UK from Belgium and there were just tons of people taking massive amounts of beer back. :P
Looks like the beer chain exists everywhere.
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I have them. Did it today, in an Enweilian region.
Ohhh... so that was you!