BattleMaster Community
Toms Other Games => Legends => Work in Progress => Topic started by: loren on December 24, 2017, 10:49:48 AM
-
When the earth had separated itself from the water, and the air from them both to fly high in the sky, and above them all the fires of the heavens, the oceans were dark and hard with white capped waves that crashed against the dull grey and brown mottled rocks of the earth. The air would sometimes dance with the fires in the sky and create fantastic yellows and reds and purples that would streak across the wondrous blue that reflected the color of the ocean. Yet there was no green in all the world for it had yet to know it could exist.
Riding down a pillar of fire to a place where the sea and the earth meet came the Nameless Wanderer. Now where the pillar touched down, there happened to be a reddish brown metal baked into the rocks and so hot was the flame of the heavens that bore the wanderer to the new world that it caused the rock to catch alight with newfound flame. But unlike any other flame in all of existence, this one burned green!
So great was the delight of the wanderer at this spectacle that he leaped for joy into the air in great bounds, bringing with him the spray of the sea, and the burning rocks of the land into the sky with him for all the world to see. With outstretched arm he plucked from the heavens the yellows and oranges and reds, and created the first of all rainbows. However, now that it existed the color green had no place to go and this deeply saddened the wanderer, and so he swept up as much of this first green that he could and he packed it tightly, smaller than any mortal eye could ever see and spread it down upon the surface of the earth wherever the sea, the earth, and the sky met. And there did it grow and multiply, spreading across the lands as a blanket of verdant color, and so too did it slip into the shallows of the seas where light still trickles down to the sandy bottom. For this was the first combination of the elements and there was nothing to hold back its exuberance, save the need for the warmth of the fires of heaven, the nourishing water of the seas, and the stable bedrock of the earth.
-
No comments? Really?
-
I think people have christmas holidays and also don't know how, exactly, to start.
Maybe for this alpha-test, just kickstart it a little.
-
Sorry for not commenting sooner! I like it, quite a bit. The style you went for was very much legend-y, but also somewhat personal. I don't think the story needs any changing or anything, except maybe just more strongly implying that you are creating the plants and all that stuff-- if that is what it is.
-
I like it as well. But for a story like this, how does the next person continue this story on?
-
Sorry for not commenting sooner! I like it, quite a bit. The style you went for was very much legend-y, but also somewhat personal. I don't think the story needs any changing or anything, except maybe just more strongly implying that you are creating the plants and all that stuff-- if that is what it is.
Correct, he packaged them into chloroplasts/algae.
I like it as well. But for a story like this, how does the next person continue this story on?
The next chapter would be how it spreads up onto the land? How ferns/trees/bushes etc formed. Right now it's just green. Somehow the brown of the mud/earth is going to hold it up into the sky somehow for some reason.
-
I like it. The blurred line between metaphor and reality is appealing.
-
Wish I could write like this but sadly I can only write straight forward stuff :'(
-
3 day comment period over, let's start voting.
-
voting passed, chapter accepted. Loren, please post the text to the Legends of the World board.