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BattleMaster => BM General Discussion => Topic started by: CryptCypher on January 25, 2018, 03:19:22 AM

Title: IC Greatest Snubs of All Time
Post by: CryptCypher on January 25, 2018, 03:19:22 AM
Been on the receiving end of a brilliant snub? Witness someone cut down to size? Care to share your favorite telling-off or insult?

After writing one of my own, I wondered what amazing insults and snubs have taken place throughout the years. I'm sure some of you have incredible stories to share!

I guess I'll start with the inspiration for this thread. Behold: the human insult-generator, Astros Renodin, finally getting a taste of his own medicine.

Letter from Yxevarii Auru'in
all nobles of Obia'Syela
Trainee Astros,

You flatter me. Unfortunately, it seems you are incapable of comprehending the most fundamental basics of leadership, diplomacy, or communication. You -do- know how to read, I presume? If your goal is to play the fool, I commend thee: you'd be a mighty fine actor, knight Astros. Can you hear the applause? Take a bow, as you so love to do.

Allow me to express what every single Obian has come to think; every time a letter from the glorious, all-powerful Astros Renodin graces us with your eternal wisdom. I'll be sure to use a few more of those big fancy words you so love to hear. I might even rhyme a few times just to humor you. Feel free to have your scribe read and translate this letter aloud to you, just like all the others.

 You've crawled out of the woodwork to exalt yourself as the great, the mighty, the genius, the savior with all the answers yet none of the skill, knowledge, wisdom, humility, or plain common sense to back it up.

The smell of power intoxicates you, and all you care about is getting your next fix. You don't care that the lives of all faithful are at stake here, and not only that: the fate of the world is on the line.

You are a parasite, Astros Renodin. A bottom-feeder suckling at the teat of greater men. You wield Obeah's name like an assassin wields poison: as nothing but a tool by which your ambitions are set in motion. You speak so much of heretics, yet you are the greatest infidel of all.

You sling badly-inflected words of petty passive-aggression like a primate flings fresh feces - yet even if you strike your hapless target, you're covered in it by default. And yet... You don't notice the stink because you've been wallowing in filth for the entirety of your meaningless existence. You are a disgrace to the Inquisition, the Enlightened, and all who hold Obeah in the highest.

Yet you just won’t give up, will you? Subject to incredibly brash mistakes that crash and burn when your “perfect vision” proves to be little more than a lie - told so often that you -actually- think anyone believes a single "clever" word that spills from your diseased mind. You are far too self-absorbed to survive in the real world. Your grasp of power will be a passing fluke, after which your inability to maintain the most basic of virtues will promptly bury you - that and you'll be stabbed in the back by those with a little more tact and good sense.

You, Astros Renodin, are the epitome of a lesser man - a condescending narcissist, habitually hawking your negligible worth as if your skull contained any more than hot air. Your entire delusional existence consists of one giant over-compensating ego serving as a shaky conduit for your ambitions toward unattainable power - yet in reality you're a helplessness, miserable manchild and third-rate subordinate unworthy of the lowliest charge. Obeah-forbid you ever rise to power: you will undoubtedly take it for granted as you do everything and everyone else, swiftly overstep your limited abilities and nonexistent boundaries, and promptly find yourself at the losing end - time after time. Unfortunately, you will drag this entire realm down to burn alongside you.

The profound responsibility of leading a realm is a burden you will never value nor understand.

Yxevarii Auru'in
Title: Re: IC Greatest Snubs of All Time
Post by: Renodin on January 25, 2018, 08:41:03 PM

Only that one?

What about the ones I wrote :p
Title: Re: IC Greatest Snubs of All Time
Post by: CryptCypher on January 26, 2018, 02:07:29 AM
Only that one?

What about the ones I wrote :p

Post 'em! They're hilarious.
Title: Re: IC Greatest Snubs of All Time
Post by: Gildre on January 26, 2018, 03:49:43 PM
I think, hands down, the best snubs are done via RP. Nothing is more frustrating than being snubbed while your character isn't physically there for the snubbing, so you can't do a thing about it or respond.
Title: Re: IC Greatest Snubs of All Time
Post by: CryptCypher on January 27, 2018, 10:16:25 PM
Hmm, good point. Though its more entertaining to get a proper reply!