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Messages - JDodger

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1
Report from Caladar Rizz

(Personal message to Aibhlidhn Dubhaine)

Letter from Caladar Rizz
 
Message sent to all nobles of Thalmarkin (18 recipients) - 1 hour, 41 minutes ago

Diplomacies killers

Friendly words for our friend the shattered one

Letter from Caladar Rizz
 
(Personal message to Jecht Tideweaver) - just in

You cause delayings shattered one

Delayings of marchings to the southlands

The building of friendships they call

The dead ones who walk and kill they call

Call with silent tongues empty eyes and growling

Growling stomachs hungering for human flesh

Witness killer the hordes do grow and wander

Grow and wander there will be much killing

Seek not enmity shattered one we did send warnings

Warnings and golds both did you forget killer

We did bring 100 golds to the city of Gethsemene

50 were taken by your bureaucrats greedy ones

We did intend their sendings as payments for the killers

The killers of Reven foolish ones we did seek to aid

They desired not killing shattered one

You have shattered them into weak ones and spineless

They were unprepared for killing we did move on

The killers of Thalmarkin do stand prepared for much killing

Much killing killer whether here or in the southlands

We are pleased with our new realm our new ruler new titles

And much killing killer the choice is yours

We do but send friendly advisings shattered one

Seek not enmity with the Masked One the Hand of Death

Caladar Rizz
Knight of Unger
Marshal of the Great Thalmarkin Horde

2
He has come this far, all the way to this clearing in western Zuhle, this clearing bare and blackened but for one tree.

The tree stands in the middle of the clearing, and it is bone-white and dead, its branches naught but skeletal arms and fingers pointing up accusingly at the cloud-draped night sky, a great hollow in its trunk gaping like a mouth mid-scream.

The night sky is draped in clouds, but there has been no rain in this land in years, and there may be none for years yet to come. All here is dry and dead, even on this side of the barrier.

Caladar hesitates for long minutes, pacing back and forth before the dead tree as his few remaining killers wait in silence but for the occasional scuffing of a boot in the dry and dead leaves.

At long last Caladar sighs, and his head drops to his chest, and he approaches the tree, puts his hands inside the screaming-mouth hollow in its trunk, and pulls out a bundle wrapped in cloth.

Foolish one

Pretending and dissimulating one

Your regrettings and desirings do you think you hide

Think you hide well your hesitating intentions

Your fruitless regrettings they are nothing you did choose

Choose your destiny yes choice without choice

Did you not turn your back upon the dead lands and turn your face to the desert of Kording

The desert of Kording where my word was once law

And shall be again and did you not spill your blood upon the stone

The stone like any other but for the markings

And was the way not revealed

The way on to Firbalt the city once fallen to darkness

The city of Firbalt city of the men who slicked their hair with oil

Slicked their hair with oil and sold their souls and bodies to the daimon kiss

The city of Firbalt birthplace of so many things great and terrible

And did you not enter its black heart

The black heart of the city of Firbalt where it spirals inward

Spirals inward and downward down into itself

Down into itself and down into darkness

And did you not enter the Black Temple of Zraath

You made your choice killer the path is now yours to walk

Not the path of the dead ones they feel not you know this

I was there when he called them the Old Dark One-Eyed One

There when he called them the dead ones that walk and kill

What need have you for experimentations they feel not

Walking upon unfeeling feet killing with unfeeling tooth and claw

That is not your path little killer

You will feel everything

And there will be much killing

3
Letter from Caladar Rizz

Message sent to all nobles of Reven (17 recipients)

Killers pay heed

The Masked One the Hand of Death is a man as men are

I come with killing not claimings of divinities

They send us writings askings of an idol of death

Pay heed killers what need of maskings

What need of masking has the one

The one who is almighty

Maskings are for the weak the dissimulating killers

And there are levels of weakness killers remember

The Masked One the Hand of Death is stronger than you yet

Despite his mortality his weakness his smallness in comparison

To the mountains high ones Pel Mark and Iknopata

We did loot them upon a time killers you were unborn ones yet

Not even sparklings in the eyes of your grandfathers when I

Did much killing in these very lands you would weep and moan

Weep and moan to see the mountains crumble beneath the boot

Of the Masked One the Hand of Death seek not enmity we did not

Seek enmity with you killers but that is immaterial like the stars

And new superstitions masqueradings of old religions

We did stand upon the border of Gotland and wear our masks

Let whatsoever Masked One who desires contendings

Contend with the Masked One

The Hand of Death there will be much killing

Caladar Rizz
Knight of Vozzessdor
Marshal of the Depraved Legion

4
Letter from Caladar Rizz

Message sent to all nobles of Reven (17 recipients)

We did go for payments killer

Did you read the words of the Masked One

The Hand of Death to the shattered one

Payments were made killer pay heed

Letter from Caladar Rizz
Message sent to all nobles of Reven (16 recipients) - 4 days, 11 hours, 3 minutes ago


Payments delivered killers

Letter from Caladar Rizz
 (Personal message to Jecht Tideweaver) - just in


Payments shattered one

Payments on behalf of the Depraved one who even now enjoys your company

100 golds have we brought to the city of Gethsemene

The city of Gethsemene where once I took the throne

The throne of Gotland of the goat people I did wear my mask

My goat mask gently cut from a dead one fresh slaughtered

Many years before as I led the Agyrians across the border

The killers who ride on bears yes they know the Masked One

For it was to them and the Thalmarks I did say

Put on your goat masks killers

And there was a mask for each

But many more did we kill of men than goats

There in the plains of Gotland and Caelint

There did I declare myself the Masked One of Gotland mighty in the north

And there was much killing

Take these 50 golds shattered one your bureaucrats have taken the others

Seek not enmity with the Masked One the Hand of Death

Caladar Rizz
Minister of Defence of Reven
Knight of Vozzessdor
Marshal of the Depraved Legion

Witness killer

We did pay him 50 golds

Did we not come in peace

Caladar Rizz
Minister of Defence of Reven
Knight of Vozzessdor
Marshal of the Depraved Legion

5
Letter from Caladar Rizz

(Personal message to the One Winged One) - 3 days, 8 hours, 28 minutes ago

You are a funny one killer

Do you have scrolls of teleportations

Or perhaps scrolls of magic steeds

If so send them

We shall require them to arrive in Ircymbar in the time you desire

Our steps wend not to Ircymbar at this time we are busy

Where were you a week ago with your orderings

A week ago when you might have 

Caladar Rizz
Knight of Vozzessdor

6
Message sent to all nobles of Reven (19 recipients) - 4 hours, 30 minutes ago

What justification One Winged one

One Winged one who speaks only to interrupt others

Interrupt them in their businesses and dealings

Interrupt them in their killings and their lootings

What have you given us to be interested in

Spare us your commandings of denial

There will be much killing

If you do not give it to us we will take it

Caladar Rizz
Knight of Vozzessdor

Letter from Caladar Rizz

Message sent to all nobles of Reven (19 recipients) - 3 hours, 3 minutes ago

You write not only to a small child killer

For he is indeed a small child a foolish

Write it

Write it killer the Masked One the Hand of Death commands you

Write it killer write it now

Obedient killer a small one as I said before

Small and foolish one delaying and prevaricating

He will write what he is commanded

Commanded by the Masked One the Hand of Death

Killer of men and monsters and daimons and elves and the old dark ones

What do you know of flames killer

Flames that burned down townsland and city alike

Flames that were the pyre of empire

Torches to guide them on the path to death

Slow and slow burning they were

Burned by the flames of silence but for no

Caladar Rizz
Knight of Vozzessdor

7
Letter from Caladar Rizz

(Personal message to Aren Von Montgomery) - 5 hours, 10 minutes ago

Yes killer

Loot the peasantries of Zwering kill as many as you can

Caladar Rizz
Knight of Vozzessdor

Personal message to Aren Von Montgomery) - 4 hours, 54 minutes ago

Did you forget killer

This killer is a Vice Marshal

Conduct your killing as you like in Zwering

Run the peasantries over with your rhinoceroses

Gore them with their great horns

Kill them and take their golds

Caladar Rizz
Knight of Vozzessdor
Vice-Marshal of the Depraved Legion

Personal message to Aren Von Montgomery) - 4 hours, 52 minutes ago

Scratch that killer

The impoverished ones likely have no golds

Stomp them gore them kill them and take their coppers

Caladar Rizz
Knight of Vozzessdor
Vice-Marshal of the Depraved Legion

Message sent to all nobles of Reven (19 recipients) - 4 hours, 46 minutes ago

The shattered ones will not know One Winged one

Will not know unless they are in Zwering themselves

Allow the little killer who rides upon a rhinoceros his killing

His killing and taking the coppers of the impoverished ones

Caladar Rizz
Knight of Vozzessdor

8
Letter from Caladar Rizz

(Personal message to Mandolyn Aurelle) -

Greetings rich Margrave

We received no orders for a week

No orders and no discussions in the war council

Though this killer is a Vice Marshal he receives nothing

We found more valuable ways to spend our hours

More valuable than sittings and waitings

We are not finished in Firbalt

We shall come in the time that suits us

Change not my army rich one

Caladar Rizz
Knight of Vozzessdor

Letter from Caladar Rizz

(Personal message to Mandolyn Aurelle) -

My thanks to thee rich Margrave

I will put on my iron mask tonight

Caladar Rizz
Knight of Vozzessdor

9
Securing the Hierophant's invitation has been just enough of a delay.

The little brown horsemen skirt around the camp where Caladar and his archers spend most of the afternoon. Once out of sight, they urge their horses into a quick canter and make for the city.

They are known at the gate - they have been coming here for years, the funny little men with the odd speech and odd habits. In the city most assume they are from the desert, and hardly bat an eye anymore when they come to trade their animal skins for women and sundries.

And they are small, no larger than a strong lad of twelve summers, so it is easy enough for them to slip unnoticed into the inner city,

In the city of Firbalt once gone to darkness

The city that spirals down into itself at its heart

Its heart black and beating with malice and memory

There shall you find it the Black Temple of Zraath

10
Roleplaying / Re: Karl-Jagutu Happy Smoke and Sing Time
« on: March 12, 2023, 06:02:02 AM »
As are you, you poor kidnapped peasant or whoever you think you are. The little brown man has been smoking this whole time as he tells snippets of a story from another land and another time, and he spends more time singing the songs the stories inspire than telling the stories themselves, and he trails off before he even tells you what he and his little brown Abakan friends and the white Captain did in Irondale, wherever that is, whatever that was, but you don't care at all.

Man, you're baked, and so is he, but suddenly his eyes narrow and he looks very serious indeed, his little brown face growing dark and shadowed in the low light of the pit fire, and his little brown eyes burn intensely into your own.

"Ever slinged rock, new white friend?" he asks, putting his cigar back to his mouth and rolling it around as he slowly sips and savors his smoke like you've heard some experts on wine are said to do. "Ever putted rock inna sling, throwed it, swinged it? Hmm."

"This poor peoples' weapon, rock. Not many rock inna swamp... having go river an' coastline for finding rock. Sometimes good rock, heavy rock, right size rock, good shape rock, this worth more than diamond an' ruby an' em'rald."

"Jewels looking nice, but not much good in fight. With good rock, taking jewels easy. But sometimes first, having take rock."

The little brown man who you are pretty certain is called Karl-Jagutu nods sagely and swirls some smoke around in his mouth and slowly exhales, and as he begins his next story, you can almost see the images in the wafting haze...

11
Roleplaying / Re: Karl-Jagutu Happy Smoke and Sing Time
« on: March 12, 2023, 05:44:20 AM »
...in a rizzlah, me jus a-burn it in a rizz-a-lah.
Now me young again me jus a-burn kalli-weed
in a chal-wah, yes me burn it inna-chally-wah.

Now me am a yout me gonna travel many mile
Karl-Jagutu ride upon him horse and smoke and smile
And go to plenty place and hunt and hunt for crocodile
Him de one dem name Kilhorn a-an him wicked and him guile

But Karl-Jagutu style is a-sneaky and-a wild
Karl-Jagutu style is a-sneaky and-a wild
Karl-Jagutu fiiirst kill a man when him a child
Karl-Jagutu first to fill him sling from rock pile

When me was old Khan me used to burn kalli-weed
in a rizzlah, me jus a-burn it in a rizz-a-lah.
Now me young again me jus a-burn kalli-weed
in a chal-wah, yes me burn it inna chally-wah...


With the thick-burning end of his cigar, Karl-Jagutu draws a black mustache under the nose of one of the satyrish statues that guard the entrance of the Temple of the Great Horned One.

With the next graceful pass of his little hand he draws it, sparking and smoldering, in a thick black slash across the statue's throat.

They dismount and descend into the temple. Erwin of Gethsemene has been here before, prayed to his goat god here, but they descend into parts of it dark and deep, and these he has not seen...


Down, down, down into the dark they tread, with only the glowing ember that hovers before Karl-Jagutu's face to light their way.

The passage is tight, and the smoke is thick, and soon Erwin of Gethsemene forgets his fear of this place, the fear that was beaten into him since he was small.

“What're we doing in here, Lord?” he asks.

Karl-Jagutu's voice is loud and bright against the dark stone walls. “Ves'agations!” he declares. “Re-Khan-a-sauce! Hoo-hah! More Tiger Blood!”

And the twenty-six other little brown men light up their cigars too, and soon Erwin is quite glad to be on this adventure after all.

12
Roleplaying / Re: Karl-Jagutu Happy Smoke and Sing Time
« on: March 12, 2023, 05:43:03 AM »
The silence is long as they ride, but there is a song coming eventually, there always is with him.

He begins:

When me was old man me used to burn kalli-weed in a rizzlah
Yes a rizzlah

Now me young again me a fi burn kalli-weed in a chal-wah
Me just a-burn it in a chal-wah...


And it continues, but there is too much of it that Erwin of Gethsemene does not understand, so he tries to tune it out as they ride across the quiet plains of Baqua.

He has had enough of Dodgers, and already, this little brown singing one especially...


Now when me was a yout we used to live a ninth mile
All up inna swamp with gilly fish and crocodile
What you thought hillock wa really rock up inna pile
We stand behin-dat and we been watching for a while

We gonna gittem in a hard time style
We gonna gittem in a hard time style-e...


Karl-Jagutu and his wild brown riders crest the last hill, and the song trails off into silence.

Erwin of Gethsemene thanks his goat god for it as the Abakans look out at the Irondale forces, arraying for battle in Ffangor, with sharp and studious little eyes...

And Erwin thanks it again when, at some undetectable signal, they turn and ride away as one.

As Kilhorn, that black shadow whose steps they sought to trace, that black shadow upon his life and the lives of so many, would have said, Erwin is not prepared for killing.

13
Roleplaying / Re: Karl-Jagutu Happy Smoke and Sing Time
« on: March 12, 2023, 05:40:11 AM »
It took until nightfall for Karl-Jagutu to catch up to his Khansguard, who he greeted from at least a mile out across the plains of Daisha with a piercing, high-pitched whoop.

They whooped and chattered and birdcalled back, some turning to smile and gesture for him to hurry and join them. There were twenty-six Abakan swamp hunters, tiny little men with sharp eyes and strong bows riding on fat little ponies, and one extremely nervous Captain, a man who had long been in the pocket of a certain Jonn Dodger. This latter's employment had been extended to new duties, and long years of dealing with too many Dodgers had him less than excited for the change.

This latter's name was Erwin of Gethsemene, once Guard-Captain of a militia unit in a place called Gotland, which was now a mere part of a place called Irondale. He had been deemed Highly Useful by Big Daddy Jonn even before the monster known as Kilhorn had moved into Gotland full-time. Kilhorn had done this to better prosecute his killing in another place once called Caelint, which was where Erwin was now, except Caelint was now a mere part of a place called Irondale too. Erwin had seen a bit too much of Dodgers for one lifetime.

Still, he tried not to look unprofessional as he half-turned in his saddle to observe his new assignment, Karl-Jagutu, former Khan of Aren, who was at present cantering his horse - full sized, though he looked tiny riding it - in circles, kicking up clouds of dust and blowing up clouds of smoke from one of his ever-present cigars. Two mounds wrapped in cloth were thrown over his horse's back, one before and one behind his saddle, no doubt some pilfered supplies from Firbalt.

He was shrilly shouting out something in Abakan, which Erwin only knew was Abakan because that was where all these damned insane savages were from, some swamp, apparently, in the Colonies, where they didn't wear decent clothing and enjoyed great excess of smoking that raaha stuff Heimar always used to smoke dipped into a noxious elixir they called Babar, and that was how they all talked. In Abakan. Loudly. All of them together, over each other and even their supposed liege, all the time. But then at some incomprehensible signal, all the soldier-savages stopped making noise in unison, and, still about a half-mile off, Karl-Jagutu leapt up in his saddle and began, of all things, to sing.

This time Erwin could understand the words, because it was sung in a version of the sailor's tongue, which every person of worldly experience knows to some extent. That Karl-Jagutu chose to sing in that tongue at that moment may have been for Erwin's benefit, or any Daishan peasants in the area's benefit, or perhaps even for your benefit, or maybe Karl-Jagutu just liked to sing in other languages.

Karl-Jagutu sang:

Ba-ba, ba-ba ba-ba, ba-ba ba-ba-ba
Ba-ba, ba-ba-bad boy gonna come
Bad boy gonna come, bad boy gonna come-a
Run off to the town and a-tell ev-ery-one-a

Ba-ba, ba-ba ba-ba, ba-ba ba-ba-ba
Ba-ba, ba-ba-bad boy gonna come
Bad boy gonna come, bad boy gonna come-a
When I sing me song go and tell what me a sung-a

Now

(Pause)

I was born a disciplined child
The Tiger Blood make me got so wild
I was born a disciplined child
The Tiger Blood make me got so wild

Ey - Down in the swamp, Abaka, home
A little brownskin roughneck child was born
Inna the swampland, hey-o-o
Inna the swampland, hey-o

Him learned how to raid and him learned how to fight
Him learned how to run them swamps at night
Inna the swampland, hey-o-o
​​​​​​​Inna the swampland, hey-o​​​​​​​

Ba-ba, ba-ba ba-ba, ba-ba ba-ba-ba
Ba-ba, ba-ba-bad boy gonna come
Bad boy gonna come, bad boy gonna come-a
Karl-Jagutu wild old, imagine now that him a-young-a!


At about this point in the song Karl-Jagutu had caught up with his men, or at least he'd gotten within a hundred yards or so, and with their sharp eyes they spotted what he was carrying before and behind his saddle. With renewed vigor, the whooping and chattering began at double the volume, and twenty-six fat ponies were soon being kicked into action on every side of Erwin and his horse as the Khansguard raced to meet their once-Khan.

Erwin, not nearly as sharp of eye and confused by the sudden ruckus, took a few moments to realize what he was seeing. When a pair of tousled heads sprung up from the mounds of cloth, there could be no doubt - a couple of young ladies! And apparently of relatively decent breeding and etiquette! And with smiles on their lovely faces!

Erwin had seen quite enough of Dodgers for more than one lifetime!

14
Letter from Calculon Rizz
Message sent to all nobles of Sandalak (21 recipients) - 15 days, 7 hours, 29 minutes ago

Chancellor Three,

My legal beagles are enough for you and two more just like you!

You are in brazen violation of my copyright and engaged in misappropriation, misrepresentation, and massive malfeasance!

You should be thankful that my reverse-class-action lawsuit is taking as long as it is to prepare! I will be suing a great many people very soon! My legal beagles are quite literally straining at their leashes!

And my name is Calculon, not Noble Rizz! Remember that when you get served!

OK thanks bye!

Calculon Rizz
Knight of Sandalak

15
Letter from Calculon Rizz
Message sent to Golden Council of War (6 recipients) - 1 month, 7 hours, 54 minutes ago

Senator Nix, my friend! Since you have expressed a desire for advice, I cannot help but oblige!

So! Advice! Be advised that my legal beagles have thus-far only been given the scent of one Chancellor Three! At this time, our investigations indicate that he is wholly responsible for the violation of my intellectual sovereignty!

Now! That being said! Think not that I lack the resources to obtain the scent of any one of you! My legal beagles could be at any one of your doors in the shake of a pup's tail!

So don't come down on the wrong side of this thing, friend Senator!

Calculon Rizz
Knight of Sandalak

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