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Messages - Ehndras

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East Island / Re: Xavax Imperium
« on: April 05, 2016, 03:04:53 AM »
I can already hear the groans, but...

Magnus has returned.

After a complete mental breakdown - of which you quite obviously saw the digital back-end -  I took a nice break to get my !@#$ straight and put my life back in its rightful place.

Feels good to be sane again.

No walls of text unless y'all desire some RP.


East Island / Re: Xavax Imperium
« on: February 11, 2016, 06:05:48 PM »
I'm sorry but I spent long, sleepless nights religiously pumping out dozens upon dozens of paragraphs of material and built everything Xavax is from the ground-up until Dodger and 2-3 others showed up and shat all over it. I came up with the government, the titles, the lore, the culture, the religion, poetry, a "theme song", realm descriptions, and more - some of which I never even got a chance to share, such as the entire formulation of the Xavax faith. When I'm at work I carry a notepad where I write future RP and lore - I love this game. Folks liked it and supported it - hence my election as King - and then a particular group of migrants showed up and quite literally said "well we weren't here so we don't care." The two migrant waves prior and all those after came to Xavax peacefully and honorably. Only this specific migrant wave started problems. They've been a pain in my side ever since.

So, screw it. I give up. I'll form the faith if anyone even cares at this point but if not, I quit. I'm not wasting hours of my time and a ton of effort if no one gives a damn. I'd much rather spend that time working on my scifi novel. Xavax has been fun, and good practice on impromptu roleplay, but I don't have time for this with my new job. Sorry.

East Island / Re: Xavax Imperium
« on: February 11, 2016, 09:02:38 AM »
You make my life a living hell and insult me IC, and now you insult me OOC. Thanks a lot.

A little hint on my personality type, of which I'm practically a poster-child according to my psychologist, if it helps you understand why I am the way I am, because you quite obviously don't seem to get the bigger picture. I don't fault you for it, I'm a man of countless contradictions that somehow manage to achieve an uneasy state of equilibrium. As much as you doubt me, I doubt myself more.

"INFJs have uncanny insight into people and situations. They get "feelings" about things and intuitively understand them. Most INFJs are protective of their inner selves, sharing only what they choose to share when they choose to share it. They are deep, complex individuals, who are quite private and typically difficult to understand. INFJs hold back part of themselves, and can be secretive.

But the INFJ is as genuinely warm as they are complex. INFJs hold a special place in the heart of people who they are close to, who are able to see their special gifts and depth of caring. INFJs are concerned for people's feelings, and try to be gentle to avoid hurting anyone. They are very sensitive to conflict, and cannot tolerate it very well. Situations which are charged with conflict may drive the normally peaceful INFJ into a state of agitation or charged anger. They may tend to internalize conflict into their bodies, and experience health problems when under a lot of stress.

Because the INFJ has such strong intuitive capabilities, they trust their own instincts above all else. This may result in an INFJ stubborness and tendency to ignore other people's opinions. They believe that they're right. On the other hand, INFJ is a perfectionist who doubts that they are living up to their full potential. INFJs are rarely at complete peace with themselves - there's always something else they should be doing to improve themselves and the world around them. They believe in constant growth, and don't often take time to revel in their accomplishments. They have strong value systems, and need to live their lives in accordance with what they feel is right. In deference to the Feeling aspect of their personalities, INFJs are in some ways gentle and easy going. Conversely, they have very high expectations of themselves, and frequently of their families. They don't believe in compromising their ideals.

INFJ is a natural nurturer; patient, devoted and protective. They make loving parents and usually have strong bonds with their offspring. They have high expectations of their children, and push them to be the best that they can be. This can sometimes manifest itself in the INFJ being hard-nosed and stubborn. But generally, children of an INFJ get devoted and sincere parental guidance, combined with deep caring."

I'm an open book if you ever actually cared to even vaguely ATTEMPT to figure me out, like JeVondair, Orlov, and a few others have.

First of all, I made it VERY clear I am only running so Selenia's name isn't the only one on the ballot. SECOND, before, during, and after the rebellion it was stated that I could re-run for rulership after stepping down. I am in NO way breaking any agreement by doing so. Don't believe me? Go re-read a few messages and choke on your false words.

I don't even enjoy playing in Xavax ever since this little mess began. Its become a massive chore. All my attempts at sparking RP went down the toilet the moment Dodger's group migrated to Xavax and, quite frankly, my entire focus and purpose upon logging in became about breaking Dodger's influence rather than having fun. I had to wrap myself in the most ridiculously convoluted scheme in order to ensure dethroning Dodger didn't end up with me dead and Xavax ruined, BARELY managed to save face with all the Alaran mess going on, and failed miserably to keep up superficial appearances of stability as my play-time dwindled and I bumrushed speed-typing massive posts in reply to everyone and their mother on a dwindling phone charge during back to back work shifts. Sorry, but I really didn't have time to waste arguing with Dodger, but that's the only bloody thing that was going on in Xavax.

Now that the rebellion has been fought, we can all move on.

As for calling me a bull!@#$ter, give us all an example then, oh blessed paragon of virtue. I'll link you to my deviantart, my facebook, my employer's page, hell, you can call my security dispatch and find out what my patrol hours are. I will sort through the text files I have of every message I've ever sent and received since the day I joined Xavax. I'll provide whatever proof you need to refute your ignorant accusations at the drop of a dime. Don't EVER call me a god damn bull!@#$ter. There is NOTHING I hate more in this world than being called a liar! I'd take a bullet to the face and die with a smile knowing I spoke truth before I dishonor myself and my family name by being a deceiver. Even my Riombaran assassin-to-be is brutally honest. I am known for this in both games and in real life. Its who I am. I may omit information, but I will not lie unless it is an extremely severe matter. You want the stark truth? I have extremely bad short term memory and couldn't remember a lie  to save my life if I told it, therefore its utterly idiotic to do so. I do, however, have incredible long-term memory recall, especially for traumatic or emotional events. If someone asks me a direct question, I have to answer it honestly. Its the big flaw of my OCD. Just ask my ex-wife, my brother, my mother, my best friends how many times I "shot myself in the foot", metaphorically, by admitting things no sane man would admit, simply because someone asked - sometimes even a complete stranger. I have panic attacks when I deal with lies. Deception causes me great anxiety. I grew up with a schizophrenic sociopathic narcisist mother who lies about everything humanly possible, emotionally manipulates everyone around her for the sake of money, and took a profound distaste for such behavior growing up. I am painfully, horribly sincere - to a fault, because its the one thing that sets me apart from my mother. In real like I am quiet and composed, but as a writer, you will always see MASSIVE text-walls - like this one - because frankly, I''m not even speaking to you anymore. I'm telling a story, and you're simply the audience. If you listen, great. If not, I don't care - because it mattered more to me in writing it than it ever will to you in listening. Its more trouble than its worth, but I'd rather be hated for saying what I believe - right or wrong, whether I'm believed or not - than be loved for a lie. I may be an obsessive-compulsive depressed anxious confusing mess of a person, but I take my words seriously. My word is my bond. That is the one thing my father taught me to respect before he died, and its the one way I can still honor him. When and if I lie, I admit it instantly - I will not suffer panic attacks for the sake of bull!@#$. And yes, that even includes in-game lies. I can't lie as a character without incurring anxiety over it. Its... Well, made my writing experience very interesting, to say the least.

And Dodger, Selenia didn't pull out dishonorably. Selenia followed Magnus' orders and did her job splendidly. Or do you really think everyone buddying up to you actually supported your plot? Even dissident factions have dissidents of their own. Its funny, the more you spoke and believed you were gaining support by incessantly insulting and undermining me with Sayuki Kuriga in tow, the more I received messages in private complaining about it.

It was like a broken friggin' record. I was fine with a little chaos and dissent, hence why I didn't ban you as soon as I knew you weren't being honest with me - instead I ordered people to keep their eyes open but do nothing. Remember, I could've simply ordered the judge to ban you. I could have shut you up after any of your outbursts. I could have chucked Kuriga back over the Alaran border and fed him to the dogs.

But I didn't. I let you have your fun at my initial IC expense, and eventually my OOC expense. You lot called me a tyrant, but til the end I was more forgiving than you ever deserved.

I'd like to dedicate a poem to Kellan / Sayuki as he (in-game, not out of context) reminded me of the emotions I felt when I wrote it. I wrote it back when I was in high school about a former friend who tried to murder me and destroy my life because he was secretly in love with my bipolar Puerto rican ex-girlfriend who made my life living hell, so forgive me if its crude, angry, and of lesser quality. Enjoy.

Title: Wherein Lies The Beast (March 17th, 2010)

Where is he? A shadow, lost;
Not to the dawning insanity,
But to an unforgiving fragment of pride

In his wake,
All bonds of trust were relinquished;
To be abandoned, fed to the dogs

Wings - of blackened angels,
Corrupt was the sanctity of love

Forgotten was all which once mattered to him,
His illusions sustained by wrath

At his heart - lied envy, and greed;
Reflections of failed maturity,
Unleashed by internal strife

Lost it all,
Everything valued, all that once was;
To grasping claws of vanity,
Foreboding his rapid descent

Crawl through the trials of reality,
Seethe at the loss of your world

Look beyond the gaze - of caged humanity,
And shut close every rotting door

See him now,
Cloaked - in sorrow and pain,
Brought by none other than himself

Wallow at,
The sight - of fools' self-pity;
Towards the fleeting,
Dark dreams undoubtedly denied

Dance - through crumbling corridors,
Riddled - with images of death

Look upon the face of long-gone memories,
Their forlorn remnants putrefact

This demon,
Who gazes intently at our hearts;
Descending from darkness apparent,
To feed upon his windblown lies

Lost is she,
The angel he once enslaved;
Forced to do his bidding,
'Til she'd retire - to an early grave

Grip the fleeting hopes,
That echo through your soul

Cradled in absolution,
Compassion - a figment of the past

Embrace - your haven of loathing
Become - the essence of deceit

Dream - of untainted innocence
Grimace at the prospect of demise

Forged from your heart yet so adamant,
Tempered in the flames of your hate;
Imbued with the power of thrice-told lies,
Where sleeps your upheld ego now?

East Island / Re: Kingdom of Alara
« on: February 01, 2016, 04:33:47 AM »
I'm currently beating my head trying to figure out how to spin said excuses my people are calling for quite aggressively.

Either way Magnus looks like an ass. Oh well. I give up trying to be the reasonable one in Xavax. Time to bring out Magnus' inner douche.

East Island / Re: Xavax Imperium
« on: February 01, 2016, 04:27:40 AM »
Problem is, the current debacle in Xavax promotes PRECISELY what y'all don't want. I want Xavax to break the bold and be ballsy, not take the easy road. Unfortunately, certain folks can't see eye to eye.

Can the spies and factioners please just admit what you're doing so I can stop being vague as !@#$? Its getting annoying to have to be vague. I hate vagueness.

I really hope its just the ones I know about. Gods forbid my other suspicions and informed suggestions have merit... Jesus... It'd be a wonder y'all haven't rebelled already, if so.

East Island / Re: Kingdom of Alara
« on: January 21, 2016, 02:25:46 PM »
That's more-or-less what I plan for Xavax. I don't intend for a stagnant super-power like Cagil was. Those who know me are aware that I enjoy building super-powers then shattering them into divergent factions once we've had our fun. Chaos is a built-in requirement in anything I do. What comes up must come down in a blaze of glory!

East Island / Re: Kingdom of Alara
« on: January 21, 2016, 02:13:07 PM »
Yeah, true. Major hijack. Sorry!

So, Alaran brothers, how fareth the world thru your eyes?

East Island / Re: Xavax Imperium
« on: January 21, 2016, 02:11:50 PM »
I played no part in their lore, nor will I discuss it at any point I'm aware of. Most of it was done privately and out of my hands, for fear of, well, something its not my place to reveal. They have their own history and lore, which you can learn through Lady Viridiana and whoever else her priests may be. I'm only saying that I was made aware of their concept and saw it to be interesting enough to allow it in Xavax. That about sums it up.

Roleplaying / Re: Things are different in Outer Tilog
« on: January 20, 2016, 10:59:01 PM »
Inquire with the Xavax Imperial Inquisition - we'll purchase an order. :P

East Island / Re: Xavax Imperium
« on: January 20, 2016, 10:56:58 PM »
Aye, Church of Holy Wisdom - state-sanctioned and agreed-up via prodigious IC and some initial OOC to sort out the long-term concepts. ;) And aye, CHW is reminiscent of a certain age-old faith that changed the world - for better or worse...

Oh, no one is or will ever be forced to embrace the Phoenix. Did I accidentally imply that? My apologies. Consider it the posterchild for Xavax. The faith is meant more as a philosophy than a religion - sure, it has its lore, but they're more existential than anything. No long list of Gods with funny names, though I have a list of Primordial beings I *could* bring from a later incarnation (Read: degenerative bastardization) of Phoenexian ideals into a more standard old-school idolizing faith.

The Phoenix will be there for those who feel like joining the RP and concept - a few Xavax are believers, so far. Enough to make it more fun for those involved. This will present interesting opportunities between the Phoenix Kin and followers of the Holy Wisdom: enough friction to make things fun, though not enough (unless we all feel like it at some point) to lead to full-scale rivalry or conflict between the faiths.

I don't see it closing any doors, only opening them. I, for one, do not enjoy the CoHW RP or lore. Just not my thing. Those who follow the Phoenix, even if only in private, obviously feel the same. Its better to have 20 players split between 2 faiths than 10 players in 1 faith and 17 pseudo-atheists. Know what I mean?

I don't see a downside here.

East Island / Re: Kingdom of Alara
« on: January 20, 2016, 10:49:41 PM »
That is my dream for Xavax. I doubt it'll come to be, unless fortune is on our side, but a dream is always worth having.

East Island / Re: Xavax Imperium
« on: January 20, 2016, 02:05:43 PM »
Not to mention the whole point of Viridiana's faith is the re-establishment of some old lore, which was agreed that her faith would be a companion to that of the Xavax Phoenix in our exchange of many out-of-context messages. Ironically, I was the main proponent for the establishment of her faith and this whole plot, outside of her circle of allies.

Y'all are the ones who decided to leave Xavax a monarchy - I wanted to be the ruler of a meritocratic republic, if y'all can't recall.

Now, Xavax will be an empire - and Magnus its "zealous avatar". Until someone gets an itchy trigger finger and tries to get rid of him, to which I say: "...Good luck."

Like I've said, Magnus will step down when he no longer serves a purpose. Until that day, he will fight for his throne with any and all tools in his arsenal. I am far more zealous and ruthless in real-life than I seem to be in game... Y'all just don't get to see most of the fun stuff that goes on behind closed doors, i.e., private message. Fear not, Xavax will have its fun quite soon.

East Island / Re: Xavax Imperium
« on: January 20, 2016, 01:56:16 PM »
No, I want to actually follow the game-plan that was discussed and put into play by the first 20 or so to found Xavax. That was the whole point of all this. Pseudo-Romanic empire of pagan faithfuls who accept other faiths yet use their own as a springboard to conquer the world in the name of not only material interests, but those of divine light as well. Its a legitimacy thing, at its heart.

Not to mention, as a ruler, I've become aware that everyone and their mother uses their state religion to !@#$ over their neighbors during and before war. Why the hell can't Xavax do the same?

Not to mention, going with my plans and lore, the Phoenixian faith would lend credibility and allow us to assimilate foreign nobles and lands without needing to go through the process of warring them and their list of allies.

You know, BM isn't just a war-game, if that hasn't dawned on you. There's far more to it than war. Hell, war is the least of my interests. I'm in major wars on every single character I have, save Alekhsandr of Fissoa, though if Luria decides to pursue this new line, its becoming a possibility that Fissoa will be wiped off the map soon. *shrug*

We will war, and very soon, but I have to help the many little plots here and there to move forward, and not just the warmongers. You know, you folks aren't the only ones in Xavax, nor your interests the only ones worthy of respect.

If I didn't want you guys here, though, why would I have made y'all marshal, Strategos, and the like? Why start a military tribune?

If you all rebel for this, then it will be the most ridiculous rebellion I've ever seen. I'm in two realms with FAR greater problems and yet - lo! - no rebellion. If you're itching for war, then give me a damn reason I can use as casus belli, establish a plan, and work for it - don't just go "Hey! Declare on Perleone / Alara / Your Mother! Do it!"

If this little ambassadorial trip goes well upon Selenia and Ruslan's return, we'll have all we need to fight the first Xavax war. Otherwise, show some bloody patience and prepare Xavax for war. How about we conduct training exercises? Give out gold so people can train at the academy? How about my attempt at getting some joint-military exercises done? How about a tournament?

The world won't end if we don't go to war this week. Not to mention, I no longer manage an insurance agency. I just started my new security job and am having an extremely busy week, I haven't been able to log in properly since 2 days ago. Today I get my permanent schedule and list of alternate posts, so I'll have a better idea of when I'll be available. Today I have a very long day, and will be in training like yesterday. Though, today, I'll finally be assigned a security vehicle, so I get to drive - rather than walk - in this god damn blistering snowy freeze from hell.

East Island / Re: Kingdom of Alara
« on: January 20, 2016, 01:44:03 PM »
King Magnus of Xavax here - oh, we want war - but OUR terms, and at a time of OUR choosing. There are various sub-plots at work in Xavax at the moment, and diving headfirst into war with Perleone would be unwise and, frankly, idiotic. (and likely all their allies will go "EVIL XAVAX ASSASSINS! DIE!" for the convenience of an easy war)

Not to mention the last thing Xavax needs - in the eyes of a sensible king - is to be prematurely branded as a realm that sends assassins in the night for absolutely no reason, without declaration of conflict, and soon after requesting a diplomatic bump from neutral to peace.

What Grathe&Friends don't see is what goes on behind closed doors. The report and outcry of Sundar's attempt was sent to every ruler on EC - making Xavax look like a bunch of dishonorable !@#$%^&s and - thus - a viable target for conquest.

I plan for Xavax to be the next Cagilan Empire. Not some band of barbarians.

Also, Magnus never liked or trusted Sundar, even before the whole OLP cannibal thing, though that made it much easier to disavow his actions. Where our other infiltrators actually reported in and followed orders, Sundar did whatever the hell he pleased. Not to mention he defied multiple direct orders to not do anything stupid or violent in or near Perleone, to which he agreed - then went and tried to assassinate their judge, and in a region full of militia at that. Reeeeeal smooth, Sundar. Why not wait 'til he moves out to a neighboring region where - surprise! - there's no militia or foreign nobles to catch you? Impatience and inability to follow orders is the mark of someone who will not last long in a realm. It shows a lack of loyalty and duty, and you can't expect a ruler to go for that.

As a player, I went "Sweet, excuse for war!" as Magnus, he was furious at this abuse of a mere Inquisitorial trainee's power and failure to heed his very clear orders not to engage in aggression, which Sundar spit upon and he doubts ever planned to follow. A rogue infiltrator like that is at best an accident waiting to happen, at worst, an arbiter of chaos that will cause far more trouble than their dagger is worth.

East Island / Re: Xavax Imperium
« on: January 18, 2016, 04:51:37 PM »
Oh, I have those who want to be a priest - just no one willing to be the mastermind. Seeing as how I'm pushing for it, its my own responsibility really...

I plan for it to be the Xavax state religion - if not the religion of the southern free states. A sort of expatriate faith comprised of those who came from the sinking islands. The whole concept is mostly a pseudo-spiritual philosophy about honoring our fallen homelands and seeking rebirth in the image of the Phoenix, constantly reforging ourselves anew with every subsequent conquest or defeat. Its supposed to be vague enough for anyone to join in, rather than overly-specific and thus incredibly limiting.

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