Roleplay from Calculon Rizz Player experience level: mentor Player play preference: rp-combat
Message sent to all nobles of Sandalak (22 recipients) - 1 month, 2 days, 16 hours, 56 minutes ago
It takes a great deal of logic-work to figure out that there is, in fact, no way to profit from the Southern gold, and even longer to convince Calculon not to means-test with some of the ship's crew.
"After all," Bard finally reasoned, "If you give it to someone for the expressed purpose of their obtaining information for you, isn't that the same as hiring them?"
"...Indeed!" Calculon finally squeaks after much brow-scrunching consideration. "And to hire is to purchase labor! A spending! An expenditure!"
"Exactly," says Bard, lighting another spliff.
"But these... what did you call them?!"
"Mogweed junkies."
"Indeed...! But wait! Another thought!"
"Oh?"
"Is it not said that one spends in charity?"
"Oof. We might need one of your oarsmen for some 'means testing' after all."
The oarsman doesn't die, so they get to work, once Bard has convinced Calculon not to further investigate if the curse is real at all.
"Ten thousand gold!" Calculon wails. "Tetraxian had better pay me back!"
"Oops!" Calculon catches himself and covers his big mouth with both hands.
"Never mind! Charity! Yes! Brotherly love!"
