Best letter joke ever?

[Ketchum]

Letter from a prisoner   (50 minutes ago)

Prisoner Bastian has sent you a letter:

Lord Judge of Oritolon,

courtesy does not seem to run in your blood for peaceful nobles out
of diplomatic status and this turns quite disappointing.
Coming unguarded was the best way to ensure that Oritolon nobles had
nothing to be afraid of it and well, patrols did have quite some time to capture me,
thus my enquiry is plain and forward. Why to capture a noble who sits on a table
unguarded with only peaceful intentions while seeking for a way to resolve the dispute
that keeps apart two realms that have nothing to fight for anymore?

Secondly, talking to a person behind the cell door and expecting to discuss diplomacy,
looks more like the training of the dog, considering that my needs are greater
while in prison disabling me from having a clear position on the issue.
You know, the food, if any... is terrible in this rotten prison.

My diplomatic coming was under the blesses of Minas Thalion royal family
who values integrity and loyalty of a peaceful mind more than Oritolon higher nobility
who merely stand on the etiquette by treating their prisoner as a rogue for not bearing
the necessary credentials of the diplomatic bourgeoisie.

However, one would be a fool to spoil any opportunity, even if unfair and not well balanced,
to discuss the option of peaceful resolution of the current diplomatic dispute between
a considerable power of the South and a dying realm of the North that poses absolutely
no threat to Oritolon anymore; Minas Thalion can hardly cope with exerting authority
over the distant Drenga. Thus, if I may ask, what is the reason behind this hatred?
Why not support Minas Thalion's new beginning and gain a powerful friend in the North
instead, thus avoiding the sad outcomes of any long war who leads to total annihilation,
such as many dissatisfied refugees whose only purpose will be to revenge those responsible
for their doom to live in foreign lands? Support relocation of Minas Thalion and a
prosperous future may lie ahead.

I assure Oritolon that if coming to a conclusion, the wise Crown of Minas Thalion
will not refuse hearing to anyone bearing diplomatic news, being formal diplomat or not.

Keep in mind, what is simply common knowledge; no friendship can last eternally and
sooner than expected, Oritolon may strive to find personalities that can be trusted.
Actively supporting the relocation of your former enemy is something difficult to forget.

Regards,

[Ketchum]

Visit   (just sent)
While you rot in your cell, Ash Ketchum, Minister of Justice of Oritolon, Ambassador of Oritolon, visits you and says:

Noble Bastian,

It already quite a thing to say about courtesy that Oritolon extends.
It is another thing to say about the dungeon food that my prison dungeon have to offer.

Ask any prisoners out there that ever venture inside my dungeon and they have good stories to
share about my nice hospitality. I have always ask my guards to ensure a clean room and some
Oritolon food for the welcoming. I also provide some Wine from my own collection, as refreshment.
This is the first time I hear a Noble captured having terrible food.
Oh, well. I will pay a visit to the Dungeon Cook.
Hey, I am the Cook! How dare you mention my food is terrible?

Rot in this prison for a day or two until I get my unhappiness over your food comment out of my head.

[Bael]

Hehe, pretty funny. But its even funnier if someone else posts it