Well, there are many colonies, most do not even know of the existence of each other, so don't think it's everywhere like that. I have even started a Dwarven colony myself and been having children (will keep having them, so hopefully I'll get a BMer or two), but so far almost all of them have been inactive ones.
The most vocal FTO community has deep and serious welcoming problems. They were for too long a static and unchanging group, and they don't have a Tom to keep jerks at bay.
The solution? Just mingle with those you like, and ignore the others. No use in fighting.
