Feedback Requested: Welcome Email Contents

[Azerax]

Greetings all,

When a new person signs up for the game they are sent an activation email.  I'd like feedback on how to improve it.  What should we add to it?  This first email helps set the atmosphere of game and is an opportunity to reduce the new player learning curve.

Currently it is:
===
Welcome to BattleMaster,

You have just signed up successfully to the BattleMaster online game.

In order to join the game, please click on or enter this URL into the
address bar of your browser:

http://battlemaster.org/activate.php?token=xxxxx

Your login details:

E-mail:        swholmes@gmail.com
Password:        xxxxx

In order to leave the game later on, log in as when playing, then
on the first page, look for the red "Delete Account" link in
the top-right area.

(If you did not sign up to any online game, then someone used your
e-mail address to sign up. He or she may also have made a typo. If
this worries you, contact tom@battlemaster.org)
===

Cheers,
Scott

[Anaris]

Well, the first two obvious things that come to mind are links to the forum and wiki.

[egamma]

Also, a link to Battlemaster Basics

[Azerax]

any other thoughts?

[Chenier]

Details on how to delete one's account kinda send a negative vibe, don't they? He's joining the game, and we are telling him how to quit!

[egamma]

Details on how to delete one's account kinda send a negative vibe, don't they? He's joining the game, and we are telling him how to quit!

True, but very standard for any signup email.

[Eldargard]

I like having that information presented up front and clearly...

[Gustav Kuriga]

True, but very standard for any signup email.

Wrong. There's usually something regarding if you got that email by mistake, but not specifically deleting ones account if you have purposely made one.

[Anaris]

Wrong. There's usually something regarding if you got that email by mistake, but not specifically deleting ones account if you have purposely made one.

I agree. I think it's quite unusual, and somewhat offputting.

[Azerax]

I know we have people with excellent writing skills - someone take a crack at re-writing this using all the above input please.

[loren]

I'll take a crack at it. I really hope we're not sending people's passwords to them as plain text in an email, that's kind of a huge no-no.

[Tom]

I'll take a crack at it. I really hope we're not sending people's passwords to them as plain text in an email, that's kind of a huge no-no.

Of course we are. How else would they know them? The initial password is randomly generated by the game.

[loren]

Of course we are. How else would they know them? The initial password is randomly generated by the game.

Important info! Ok, I'll include something about changing their password then as well.  Do they get a copy of the password when they first register?

[Penchant]

Of course we are. How else would they know them? The initial password is randomly generated by the game.

why is there initial password randomly generated vs just letting them choose it right of the start? Just seems like an unnecessary hassle.

[loren]

Updated text below.  Someone should decide how to sign the email, I left it as the BM community for now.

Hello {First_Name} and welcome to BattleMaster, the team-oriented browswer-based strategy and roleplaying game

In order to complete your registration, please click on or enter this URL into the address bar of your browser:

http://battlemaster.org/activate.php?token=xxxxx

We invite you to read BattleMaster Basics found on the BattleMaster wiki (http://wiki.battlemaster.org/wiki/BattleMaster_Basics).  This will help you get familiarized with game mechanics and concepts.  If you have a particular question that you cannot find an answer for on the wiki our active forum serves as an excellent venue for interacting with the BattleMaster community found at http://forum.battlemaster.org

Your login details are:
E-mail:        user@gmail.com
Password:        Password

We encourage you to change your password by clicking Edit Data on the left hand side of your screen after logging in.

If you no longer wish to maintain a BattleMaster account you can delete your information from the game's databases at any time by clicking on the red "Delete Account" link after logging in at the top-right corner of your screen.

Sincerely,
The BattleMaster Community

(If you did not sign up for an online game, then someone used your
e-mail address to sign up. He or she may also have made a typo. If
this worries you, contact tom@battlemaster.org)