Erm...I suppose one might be able to argue that, by stretching the definition of "totalitarian" somewhat.
And yes, true communism really is people living voluntarily together in a commune. Any kind of central government makes it no longer truly communist (at least, based on my understanding of communism).
Socialism does require a central government, but does not require totalitarianism, unless you want to define any level of government control as being "partly totalitarian," much as the social programs enacted in the US over the past century+ make us "partly socialist".
Not really.
Let's be clear– "redistributive" is not synonymous with "socialist." There are quite capitalist motivations and methods of redistribution. There are fascist motivations and methods. There are nationalist motivations and methods. Presuming that redistribution is necessarily latent socialism is wrong– it is just as wrong when right-wingers call Obama a socialist as when left-wingers claim Medicare or Social Security are socialist institutions.
Consider, for example, the rhetoric of the "trust fund." Americans deeply identify with Social Security as something they invest into, as a form of savings. They visualize it as basically a government retirement plan. And the SSA endorses that view. Get on the website, enter your SSN, and they'll tell you how much you have saved in YOUR account. Which is of course a lie. But Americans' support for Social Security
is predicated upon that lie. They desire to preserve benefits, because they regard it as something individually owned, something entitled, and
not as redistribution. Socialist redistribution, properly speaking, should not have defined benefits as Social Security does, nor be based on a quasi-regressive payroll tax.
But to the root issue, why Americans oppose socialism– it's because every instance where someone tried to implement it wherein it went poorly (that is, every instance it has been tried), it's advocates lop a gigantic "no true Scotsman" fallacy. When every negative part of the historical record is ignored, it doesn't really win you support. Few Americans (and IMHO few seriously thinking person) can believe that the USSR was not Socialist. No, it wasn't
perfectly Socialist– but nothing will
ever be perfectly Socialist. And sure, the USSR wasn't
only Socialist... but nothing will
ever be
only Socialist. Paradoxically, Socialism would be more acceptable if it were less preoccupied with divorcing itself from its negative history. You actually can criticize the USSR without ludicrously claiming it wasn't at all socialist.
Finally, regarding socialism as totalitarianism– Perth is right on here. But let's consider an easier example, the special US circuit court of appeals for patents. It was initiated simply to organize and sort out the crazy appellate districts. However, centralized power will tend to attract people who desire to use it; police jobs will draw people who enjoy the things the police do, courts designed to regulate patents will tend to draw people who like regulating patents. In the case of the patent court, the dominant interest is on the part of patent-holders: and thus, patent-holders have monopolized US patent law.
In the same way in a centralized system which is highly invasive in peoples' lives (socialism is, as the economy is the totality of our material lives, and much of the rest), the people most likely to run it are people who like to be involved in managing a centralized and invasive system. Power will concentrate on those people. Perhaps they will be benevolent in states with strong democratic institutions– I am skeptical of that, but maybe. The point is, however, that the natural course of political economy is not towards a decentralized system or a system of liberty, but of the most totalitarian system its constituents will find survivable– which is far more totalitarian than many of those people will find desirable.