The second paragraph still does not sound at all like what was described as OK on the forums. This may be a little closer:
If there's a tournament, don't point out how important it is not to go - just shut up. If you would like more traders in your realm or more infantry in the army, go right ahead and make the need known - as long as the message is to the realm, army, guild or religion as a whole and no one is singled out by the message. Don't make threats or imply threats if you don't get your way. Come up with a solution, like offering in character incentives, that's your job as ruler or banker or general or marshal or whatever.
I also wonder why it is OK to incentive certain classes but not OK to provide an incentive to those who stay away from a tournament.
Why is this OK:
"Dear Realm, We need more Diplomats. Anyone who chooses to become a Diplomat will receive 200 bonds from me personally."
And this is not:
"Dear Realm, We need people here to defend out borders. I know there is a tournament but I will personally pay everyone who stays behind 100 gold."
Why???