Like Indirik said, try to be objective. Avoid propaganda. I'd fix this part if I were you.
Dimwood originally belonged to the Duchy of Aix within the realm of Perdan. Fortunately the region was saved from being annexed to the Diocese of Aix after the last Great War. Loyal Perdanese who did not get slaughtered in the other regions of the Duchy fled back into Dimwood.
Also, try avoiding things that might change over time. Focus on things that are more permanent. So pretty much avoid mentioning religions - unless it is a big part of the region's history, recruitment centers - they may disappear in the future so it is pointless to write about them, and relation to realms - avoid politics.
Things that add more flavour to role plays are always a plus.
