One general thing which I think is the problem is that people don't take responsibility for doing things. If you're a margrave then, bam, you can set yourself up as a new realm if you don't like your old one. If you're in a boring realm then you can pick a fight internally, or plot a rebellion or betray your entire realm for another side. Yeah, you might not succeed, and your chances of changing things are smaller than if you're a ruler, but it's something. And if it doesn't work out then just move somewhere else and try again.
There's a good reason why all the most interesting characters are the ones that have been in several realms and that's because the only two ways to play battlemaster are risky and fun or safe and boring.
