I disagree with this entirely. People hold onto their realms WAAY too much, and that's one of the reasons the worlds grow so stagnant.
Finding a real cause for war doesn't have to mean that you're holding on too much. (Although that could be the case for some.) I haven't hesitated to thrown Eponllyn into war, but we like to do it for reasons that we think are important. There's no shortage of opportunities, if you're clever, and willing to have some moral flexibility.
However, currently - as Indirik is very well aware of - I don't want to put in the time or effort to dig up a great casus belli. I settle for... lesser causes for war, and I'll take the flak that comes for it.
IMO, Perdan has come up with a very good reason for their current war. You decided on something you wanted. You asked for it, and it was refused. You offered to pay for it, and were still refused. So you went to war over it. (Which I think what everyone expected to happen.) As far as I remember, not a single person has voiced any OOC complaint, about Perdan's war. (Sure, there's the usual IC griping and calls about war-mongering, etc., but that's the posturing you get with every war declaration.)
What I personally dislike are the realms that declare war saying nothing more than "we support our allies", or for random silly reasons, or for ridiculously inconsistent reasons. You should have a good reason for declaring the war, and a good idea of what you want out of it. Let the other guy know what you want. You have a much greater chance of keeping the war civil, and letting it end without one of the realms having to die.
And while I do agree that people get too attached to their realms, I understand that they do. It's about the effort being put in. Seeing that go sucks. I would argue for a game where we would wage wars in which you do not have to fear for the total destruction of your realm. Change the dynamics that way, from a playerbase mentality, and wars should come easier.
There has to be some risk, or war becomes boring, and no one really puts in any effort. You're right, though, that every war shouldn't be a fight to the death for someone. Having a clear goal in mind helps. Realms need to be willing to fight limited aggression wars rather than go for the kill. Also, realms need to be willing to accept a loss. It sucks when a realm is losing, but refuses any peace offering that doesn't involve them getting back everything they lost. (Or in some cases more!)
I agree, think Fleugs is doing a good join in Perdan as well now protecting the infil for instance (yes I'm serious).
I think it was pretty funny when he was defending his infil, and told the rulers that anyone in Perdan could run the realm as good, or better, then he was doing it! Not many people will admit that they are probably the worst possible choice.
