So much this! I really wish more realms would pick smaller conflicts instead of the usual wars of annihilation or submission.
But I can't recall a single armed conflict in BM where it was just part of a realm involved and not all of it. The different realm armies might fight in different places, but they are all fighting. Part of the reason I've always wished we could have more a more duchy-centric game is that I think (or hope, at least) that it would encourage Dukes to be a little more ambitious. Most Dukes are just glorified caretakers, and only a few try to wield their power to further their own ambitions. And often those who do are put down for the greater good of the realm.
Duchy politics and global mortality for characters would give this game a lift in the RP department. These days it's 90% strategy and 10% roleplaying, which is a damn shame.
Talerium's raids in Minas Leon no longer count? Usually only half the realm would join, while the rest stayed at home. Additionally I think Darka used to have quite a big homeguard also that never went to war, but not certain. But you're right that it's never a single Duke sending out his men or something and in many cases that wouldn't work because Lords are more loyal to the realm than to the Duke in most cases. It's quite a general attitude issue I'm afraid.
I would love for more duchy politics and mortality and have advocated for both in the past as well.
