Author Topic: Draken's Motivation  (Read 5660 times)

Victor C

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Re: Draken's Motivation
« Topic Start: July 15, 2016, 09:16:39 PM »
Nice RP's man! A very occasional spelling error, but nothing serious and it's well written :)
Thanks ^^ I try to catch as many errors as I can when I reread it... but I never catch them all  :'(
This is just one of many great RPers in Spearhold.
Yah, I kinda like that about Spearhold, plenty of people willing to RP when they have the time.  ;D
yea i always enjoy victor's rps.

victor a couple things about your writing i enjoy are your ability to climb inside your char's head and express their feelings, i genuinely get a sense of experiencing the story through your char's eyes and i have seen that  getting even better over time as i read your rps. i like your judicious use of adjectives. you use them just enough to paint your picture in detail but not so much that it overwhelms the narrative.

a couple quick pointers: your paragraphs could be broken up more, and your verb choices are occasionally a bit odd - horses wouldn't clack against cobblestones, their hooves would; the people tumbling out of the wagon would be said to have "spilled" out, not flooded (flooded ironically tends to have a connotation of intention, like "the crowd flooded out into the street")

keep em coming!
Thanks, I genuinely don't know if my writing is bad or good and just try to find anyone willing to tell me I need to improve  ;D.
Paragraphs have always been one of my weakest aspects of writing. In essays, I'd always write one giant clump with one indention (it was one very big paragraph). I have not improved since my younger years. ::)
As for the verbs,  sometimes I can't quite catch the odd sounds of the words, I'll reread it several times and overlook it every single time. Rereading my work is very hard because I cannot perceive it like if another person was reading it, for the words are just my thoughts.

Thanks for the feedback  ;D
"The greatest leader is not necessarily the one who does the greatest things. He is the one that gets the people to do the greatest things." - Ronald Reagan