Of course, just my own opinion... doesn't make it right or wrong. 
Your last recent RP I found to be more inviting to read. It is more pleasing to the eye and the shorter broken up paragraphs are more attractive to me. I am more likely to give it my time. I sometimes get put off with seeing a looong drawn out paragraph to read through.
If I am writing a fairly long RP, I will always try to break it down into several continuing RP's rather than one huge one. Those players who are scanning through messages when time is precious, will tend to avoid long RP's I think.
Quite well written imo. Keep it up.
Thanks for the tips and compliment. I took into account what Jdodger said and tried to separate the paragraphs as well as I could.
Typically when I write to a realm, I keep my roleplays very short, only on the occasion are they ever so big that you couldn't read it in 2 minutes.
I agree that with the passages broken apart, I feel less overwhelmed by the "Wall of words" factor. I wish I did this more, and I sure I can, it's just that I typically forget or neglect to do it.
