Unfortunately it doesn't seem as though many people are interested in this aspect. When I first started playing I would make long announcements and write personal letters to the lord I was joining declaring my allegiance only to receive no replies. Likewise most people seem more interested in just cashing in on taxes and don't bother writing to you when they take an estate.
Well most lords don't care. Back when it was implemented we were strongly encouraged to RP it and make it matter, but it waned over time. Over time, stuck with apathetic lords with zero ambition, personality, or care about their knights, one tends to not really bother too much anymore.
