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Total Members Voted: 5

Voting closed: January 16, 2018, 10:29:11 AM

Author Topic: The City States - Chapter 2  (Read 632 times)

cred

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The City States - Chapter 2
« Topic Start: January 08, 2018, 02:56:47 PM »
 Vyorzgull waited... And he waited... And...he waited some more. Apparently, he underestimated his patience.  By a lot.

 He saw things that would have taken eons to complete. He felt how this world suddenly came to life, he saw the large landmass just erupting from the sea and be swiftly populated by creatures. And that black sphere, that elemental crucible from which all life, big and small, came from. Was he afraid?

 Afraid by the powerful beings that made this world possible? Their minions that spread like the flames of dying stars, building, planning, plotting, killing? The thought of this angered him. He is not afraid! He shall descend to this world and make his presence known.

 Vyorzgull finally finds himself wandering in the lush plains that are south west of the Central Mountains. The plains we're mostly populated by large herds of wild horses (create horses, 1 purity), but further south there was a settlement. More specifically, a collection of dirty clay huts, pastures, haystacks, fields of cereal and fiber plants,  all concentrated around a primitive, yet large settlement, surrounded by moats, palisades, earth ramparts and stone towers (create large fortified settlement, 2 Prime). The fortress was housing thousands of people and it could be spotted from afar dominating the surroundings.

 The inhabitants were scattered around their hovels, working on the fields or tending to their livestock. Most of them either ignored Vyorzgull, but he could hear a few of them whispering about the lone traveller that was gazing at the fortress of Ulhzvir. Legend has it that the fortress was built by the inhabitants of a few villages from the central plains after stories of a wrathful deity disguised as an old man wanders the world setting villages on fire. From what started as a small hillfort, Ulhzvir became a city in its own rights, attracting settlers that came here for the security ensured by its walls, but also by its warriors (settlement attribute: Warfare, 1 Prime).

 Not all the people that wanted to settle there came with peaceful thoughts. That was not surprising since it did not took to long after life was created for humans to start hunting and killing each other, and the plains under the Central Mountains were the scenes of numerous confrontations as each clan or tribe was convinced of its ancient rights to rule over the grasslands, the lakes, the groves and the foothills of the mountains. And the men of Ulhzvir ended up triumphant.

 From the stone gatehouse of the fortress a sizable group of heavily armed horsemen with green kite shields exited Ulhzvir and were heading east, towards Tascrig. Word came from Gofu traders of the destruction of the city and a flying winged mountain that was heading towards it. At first, the rumours were dismissed by the Ulhzvirians as the people of Gofu were known to be a mystical and some might say an insane bunch. But when their own scouting parties and people from Ulhkan (create settlement, 1 Prime) confirmed the sightings, the Grand  Lerh himself ordered fifty mounted warriors to be sent there. Vyorzgull could feel that something was happening there, something that greatly disturbed both the elements of Earth and Air.
______________________________________
Here is the location of Ulhzvir and Ulhkan.
« Last Edit: January 14, 2018, 02:25:18 AM by cred »

Tom

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Re: The central plains- Chapter 1
« Reply #1: January 08, 2018, 06:56:33 PM »
Is this a new story or a chapter in an existing story?

I would much prefer if we would could get some existing stories fleshed out.

Tom

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Re: The central plains- Chapter 1
« Reply #2: January 08, 2018, 06:57:06 PM »
Creating a settlement will cost Prime, not purity. 1 for the settlement itself, and 1 for the attribute of being fortified.

cred

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Re: The central plains- Chapter 1
« Reply #3: January 08, 2018, 08:12:11 PM »
It's a new story, I will add more tomorrow. Or I might try to fit it in the City States chapter, if Zakky is ok with it.
« Last Edit: January 08, 2018, 08:37:11 PM by cred »

Zakky

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Re: The central plains- Chapter 1
« Reply #4: January 08, 2018, 09:47:37 PM »
It's a new story, I will add more tomorrow. Or I might try to fit it in the City States chapter, if Zakky is ok with it.

I don't think it is a matter of me being okay with it or not. I am not in position to say yes or no to anything XD. After all we vote on chapters. Once my chapter ends, I have no power over other chapters. If you need me to edit my chapter to fit yours let me know.
« Last Edit: January 08, 2018, 10:56:35 PM by Zakky »

Tom

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Re: The central plains- Chapter 1
« Reply #5: January 09, 2018, 09:01:54 AM »
The approach would be to find a fitting story and add it as the next chapter. Don't need any permisson for that - the votes will decide.

cred

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Re: The City States - Chapter 2
« Reply #6: January 09, 2018, 07:37:59 PM »
Yeah,I think it's better to add it to the City States chapter. Also, added two Prime for Ulhzvir.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2018, 06:42:15 PM by cred »

Zakky

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Re: The City States - Chapter 2
« Reply #7: January 12, 2018, 01:26:29 AM »
I think maybe you should add some parts from the first chapter to this. It doesn't really feel like the first chapter and this chapter is connected.

cred

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Re: The City States - Chapter 2
« Reply #8: January 12, 2018, 06:44:12 PM »
I think maybe you should add some parts from the first chapter to this. It doesn't really feel like the first chapter and this chapter is connected.

That might make things better. The horsemen were heading to your settlements to see what's going on.

Zakky

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Re: The City States - Chapter 2
« Reply #9: January 13, 2018, 01:09:09 AM »
Time to vote.

cred

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Re: The City States - Chapter 2
« Reply #10: January 14, 2018, 02:24:22 AM »
So now I can say that the chapter is finished. You can all let me know if I need to modify or correct the text.

Zakky

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Re: The City States - Chapter 2
« Reply #11: January 14, 2018, 02:52:07 AM »
The last change you made definitely made a big improvement. I really like this chapter. I actually have nothing to add. Well done.

Tom

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Re: The City States - Chapter 2
« Reply #12: January 17, 2018, 06:47:24 AM »
approved, move to LotW.