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Author Topic: Fear the Gods - Chapter 2  (Read 761 times)

Zakky

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Fear the Gods - Chapter 2
« Topic Start: February 03, 2018, 03:46:15 AM »
It took few days for the villagers to calm themselves but even after getting over the initial shock, villagers could not forget the fear instilled by one being. Elders of the village, who could no longer just watch youngsters of the village living in fear, gathered to discuss what to do next. Elders knew villagers were not able to go back to work until they knew they were safe once more. Some elders suggested a big feast to forget about the god while others wanted to build a small shrine in the hope of satisfying the god in case he visited the village again. Few suggestions came and went but elders could not agree on anything. Every proposal sounded not good enough to completely deal with the unforgettable impression left by the god.

Unfortunately for the elders, few villagers who were visiting the nearest harbor to trade came back with horrible news. According to them, Tascrig, the village's closest trading town, was destroyed by some mysterious power. Each villager mentioned something slightly different from one another but the elders managed to understand most of their stories. Three beings destroyed Tascrig and built a pyramid on top and this happened over a single day. The old woman, who was the oldest among the elders, told others the world was coming to an end but other elders dismissed her as they believed gods were not out to destroy their creations.

"What should we do? How many gods are even out there? Can we even satisfy all of them by building a shrine? What if every god wants a shrine? We might be forced to build shrines until we all die if there are too many gods."

A toothless elder spoke as he looked around others.

"Well only one visited us. Three are in Tascrig. Maybe if we worship the three, they might protect us from the one that visited us.", said a bald elder.

"But didn't the three destroy Tascrig? They sound like violent gods.", the youngest elder objected.

"The one that visited us was only slightly less violent but he called us dirt. He didn't seem very fond of us. Maybe Tascrig did something horribly wrong to offend the three.", said the toothless elder.

The bald elder wiped his head with a piece of rag as he expressed his concern.

"What if the one that visited us was right? What if all gods despise us and want us dead?"

"I think the one visited us just did not like us. Maybe he lied to torment us.", objected the youngest elder. The old woman who grew tired of watching others talk without her, freaked out on the three elders.

"They will kill us all. We need to send one hundred young men and women to Tascrig as sacrifices! Gods will only be satisfied when they see blood of our most precious ones."

"Shut up! I would rather fight gods if they force me to give up my daughters!"

The bald elder pushed the old woman and stepped forward. There was no way the village could just give up young villagers.

"If we send one hundred men and women, we are doomed anyway. We won't have young people in the village. That is not even an option. Maybe we should send few people to visit the three and ask what they wish of us."

The other two elders looked at the toothless elder and nodded to his idea. It was definitely better than the old woman's idea. Before the old woman could talk, the bald elder quickly concluded the discussion.

"Let's choose the five best looking villagers. Get them cleaned and give them this old woman's perfume. She probably still has one stashed away somewhere."
« Last Edit: February 03, 2018, 06:07:22 AM by Zakky »

Tom

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Re: Fear the Gods - Chapter 2
« Reply #1: February 03, 2018, 05:54:48 AM »
Small improvement suggested: It is not always completely clear who is speaking.

Zakky

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Re: Fear the Gods - Chapter 2
« Reply #2: February 03, 2018, 06:07:51 AM »
Small improvement suggested: It is not always completely clear who is speaking.

Fixed some stuff. Let me know if it is better.

Tom

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Re: Fear the Gods - Chapter 2
« Reply #3: February 04, 2018, 11:18:49 PM »
Much better.

cred

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Re: Fear the Gods - Chapter 2
« Reply #4: February 04, 2018, 11:26:15 PM »
Nice. Way better than what I wanted to put. Also the village is Gofu, right?

Zakky

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Re: Fear the Gods - Chapter 2
« Reply #5: February 04, 2018, 11:48:12 PM »
Nice. Way better than what I wanted to put. Also the village is Gofu, right?

I think that was the name which I actually forgot to mention in this chapter. But shouldn't be that big of a problem when the first chapter mentions it.