Author Topic: Assorted Roleplays of Semeli Foote (Outer Tilog - Colonies)  (Read 1456 times)

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The introduction to the realm:

Quote from: Semeli Foote
Twenty-two messengers stood at attention in front of Sir Smelly Semeli Foote. Semeli paced back and forth looking over the shoddy men and women. Toothless, mangy, BBQ lip stains, cleft lips, nip slips, tangy scent, unkempt, fingerless, extra fingers, missing toes, tales of woes, all sorts could be found. The group was a depressing rainbow, all rain, no color nor bow. Semeli quit inspecting the messengers, he didn't know what he was looking for anyhow.

"You twenty-two shall go tell all the nobles of my arrival. Tell them lords that my services are available to those interested and I must be courted! I am not one who will accept a simple wam bam thank ya ma'am, there must be at least some peasant bowling or other festivity. And tell the knights they are not worthy of the services of the SHH."

"services of tha wha?" a mangy mutt asked.

"SHH" Semeli answered with haste.

"Services of the wha?" the mangy mutt whispered this time.

Semeli moved in closer, "what?"

"Yes, what."

Semeli was confused, couldn't quite put together what just happened and that was saying something, Semeli was a phenomenal at peasant jig-saw puzzles after all. "Exactly," Semeli continued his pacing, "now where was I, oh yes, tell those inferior chumps they do not deserve the fighting SHH."

"The what?" a leper with the voice of a leopard asked.

"Not this again," Semeli rolled his eyes.

"The Screeching Horse..." Semeli's lov...good friend and squire, Daron, began to say quite loudly.

"NOOOO!!!" Semeli yelled but it was too late.

"Harpies," Daron finished his sentence with a big smile.

A horrendous screech came out of no where, leaving all the messenger looking around for where the piercing sound was coming from.

"SHUT UP!" Semeli yelled to no effect, "SHUT UP DAMN YOU! SHUT UP!" Still the annoying hags continued their infernal racket. Semeli decided to do his best librarian impression, skipping the white wig and wrinkle cream this time, "SHHHH!!"

To the relief of everyone in the city of Outer Tilog the Screeching Horse Harpies SHH'ed.

"Why do you always do that Daron? Nevermind, no time to waste. Send these Wall-Market messengers out to the nobles with me message. If they fail or are saved from their wretched addiction to breathing then go buy some more at Wall-Market." Semeli walked off to go 'visit' with the Screaming Horse Harpies.

SSSSCCCCCREEEEEEEEEE

SHH

----

After some time of no one offering Semeli an estate, Semeli decided to remind everyone.

Quote from: Semeli Foote
Semeli was sitting in his camp outside of Outer Tilog City. Without an estate Semeli took to camping outside if the main population areas to minimize costs.

"Daron," Semeli said as he looked through reports of where vacant estates were, "send out the messengers to the lords. They should be reminded that we are without an estate and are looking for a lord interested in our services."

Darin nodded and left the tent in order to relay the message to the messengers who would relay the message to the messege-receiver. It was a remarkably simple pyramid unlike the Outer Tilogian Triangular Eye Refiguring, the giant pyramid of eyes from those who have read the symbols of illegality. The OTTER was a popular site within the Horrid Amusing Pet Park-Yard. Often children would pester their parents to go see the Happy Otter. Semeli even thought about going once or twice himself.

----

Finally someone offered Semeli an estate so he accepted the offer and had some fun with the messenger who read the letter to Semeli.

Quote from: Semeli
"Go send a messenger to tell Lord Vladamire that I shall accept his offer of the Cathedral of Abysmal Horror and shall swear an oath of fealty to him. And remember," Semeli flung an eye with his spoon across the tent, hitting Daron, "I got my eye on you."

Daron grinned, "I see what you did there."

Semeli laughed as he loaded Vladmire's messenger's other eye on the spoon and sent it towards Daron. With a quick swat of the hand Daron cast the eye away before leaving the tent to fetch a messenger.