No one is chastising you. One (or two) Noble characters have scolded your Noble character, who I should might add is of already tarnished reputation in the realm she is in, for failing to given some simple, common courtesy that all nobles of the realm provide each other.
If something as simple and basic as using titles (the very first item listed in the SMA guidelines) can longer be insisted upon for the SMA island, then why even continue trying to insist we maintain a SMA on the island?
Furthermore, no one is asking you to be horribly elaborate or lengthy with it. Just to follow the same custom the rest of the realm does. I find it a little hard to believe that the player of Allison Kabrinski renowned around the whole island for her scheming, craziness and zealotry; high and influential within the game's largest religion, with many loyal followers, who founded her own realm based off her name, and who has and is actively involved in some private extensive role-playing relationship with the Zuma Daimon Overlord cannot spare two extra words in her letters.
"Duke John,"
"Sir Bob,"
"Magistrate Joe,"
"Senators,"
You really have no time or ability to extend to write those, when you've done all the above?
Furthermore, no one made it an OOC thing except for you. Allison is, obviously, not exactly "loved" in Terran. What one person might let slide from someone they like they won't from someone they don't. Or, they simply jump at the chance to criticize or nitpick someone they don't like. It's called IC conflict.
Hell, you haven't even bothered to address the characters first requests for you to use the titles IC. You just ignored them and kept doing it.... what do you expect to happen but those same characters to get more angry about it?