but letters are being sent out to random nobles
No, they are being sent to random
players - I do not assume that my characters have read the letters in question unless they received them through other avenues.
Perhaps your definition of it is much looser than the standard meant for the BM mechanic.
My definition of it is based on two things:
#1 (most important) is the in-game text:
'As a noble, you can expect to be treated with respect and dignity, and expect certain manners from your peers. That does not mean they can not be offensive or they can not backstab you, but it does mean their manner of speech and behaviour should stand above the common, vulgar peasants.'
'You can mark another noble's words as vulgar and unbefitting of his class,'
In other words, we're being asked to set a standard based on what we know of how a 13th or 14th century noble with 'class' and 'dignity' should act.
#2 is my own sources of information on how medieval nobles with class and dignity behave, of which the top two are 'A History of Deeds Done Across the Sea' by William of Tyre, which covers the early medieval period with a focus on the 1st and 2nd crusades, and then 'A Distant Mirror: The Calamitous 14th century' by Barbara Tuchman for the high/late medieval period. Dress that up with a lot of (well-researched) fiction and semi-fiction and you have my personal standard which nobody but me is obliged to care about.
You might say, and you would be right to say, that plenty of nobles acted badly and did vulgar things. I wouldn't dispute it for a moment. But they'd be thought of (even if only temporarily) as vulgar, and they'd lose some small standing for it. If they also happened to be the baddest ass knight on life or the leader of a big 'ol army, probably this would pale in comparison to the prestige they'd rake in through their achievements.
I'd also distinguish between what nobles said and did in front of other nobles and what they do privately. For instance, nobles acting like punks after a big battle or during a big tournament should (in my book) take a bigger hit, because they are on display. They are effectively 'on' all the time for a few days and being judged by a much larger number of people than are usually around. An Earl who farts and makes crass jokes at his dinner table with only his immediate family and close court advisors won't win any awards but so long as he knew how to act when the King was in town or when he was visiting other courts, probably not as many would care.
Then you have some realms in BM where they explicitly embrace standards of behavior that Western medievals would consider vulgar - namely 'viking' realms. Tough to fit this into the scheme because vikings were much more Dark Ages than Middle Ages and to the extent that you might run into them in the middle ages, like the Byzantine Varangian Guard, they'd become acclimated to working alongside more traditional fancy-pants nobles even if they probably thought they were all sissies.
So context is important, and I'll cop to my standard being more strict than many. That's because most people's standards aren't medieval nobles at all, but 21st century internet game dude standards. Nothing I can do about that but for so long as we're talking an absolutely typical western medieval noble, if my bar is higher than yours (as a player's sense, not individual characters' standards) it's because I probably out-geek you on the subject. Happy to be proven wrong though.
