I sometimes ask first then take an estate or sometimes take an estate then inform the lord depending o the character and situation. I could imagine simply taking an estate if it fit the character's personality but I would have to expect some repercussions if the act offends the lord. As I see it, all are valid options.
Ask first: low risk of offense/repercussions
Take first, Inform after: medium risk of offense/repercussions
Just Take: high risk of offense/repercussions
