That's a very negative view of the situation. Players need to have thicker skin and learn to communicate and fight back in game... instead of coming on these forums and whining about so and so being a realm killer an such. Honestly, players take these things to personal, its a game have fun, if you dislike it be a charismatic leader and make changes.
That's easy to say. But glib words don't change reality.
Caligus issue is they are highly disorganized, lacking leadership, and not stable (plus can do little more than sit in their capital). Also, they refused terms which of course were not completely in their favor, but would helped them into a better situation than they are in currently. Everyone wants to fight to the death instead of take terms, in that case it cannot be helped 
"not completely in their favor"? The terms were essentially "Be my bitch, and pretend you like it!"
I will agree that too many people want to fight to the death. But at least a part of that is also because the victors often make the terms of surrender too humiliating. Refusal to accept terms of surrender is not always the fault of the loser. If you want people to surrender, then give them an offer that makes surrender palatable.
