Quest Writing

[Tom]

title: The Necromancer's Song

My review:

   
• It's not a 3-6 quest. Level 6 is quite high. Maybe a 2-4 quest, or if you want to keep damage values high, 3-4
• 150 xp for the first challenge seems high, it's a simple test with no bad consequences. 50 or 100 maybe?
• Also the 1st challenge could be one that can be continued even if they fail the test, in which case there would be battle with damage, but they follow the next group or something.
• "clearing" lacks a progress parameter
• In general, the progress is not entirely clear. You seem to want it linear, why not use simple +1 everywhere?
• The forest / golem fight - 30 damage is a LOT. It can be done (I've done it in Deathtrap Dungeon), but understand that it really is massive.
• I don't understand why the clearing fight deals no damage on success. If that's intentional, make the text more clear as to why.
• Likewise, why it deals group damage and attribute damage is not clear. Fights usually cause normal damage (in marching order), so the fighters can shield the squishies.
• 10 group damage in the end fight will almost certainly kill one or two squishies. Group damage is EVERYONE. On a typical 4-character-party, this is the equivalent of 40-50 normal damage.
• Toughness -4 is just insane. -1 is normal, -2 is serious, -3 I would reserve for dragons and djinns. It will take 6-10 quests to recover that damage!

Aside from those things, it looks like a really cute quest.

[Tom]

# Quest: King of the Eastern Forest

My feedback:

   
• again, group damage everywhere, and very high values.
• strength 30 is a very high test. Characters typically have 5 or so in most attributes, on average, ignoring class. So a 4-character party can bring on average about 20 to a test, plus items. +10 from items is rare, they will have to use magic already.
• you give a LOT of xp for all challenges. My challenges typically have around 100 for normal challenges, 200 for tough ones, and 300 for extremely difficult end-bosses. Don't forget that all of them add up.
• "cave Chamber" - yaml keys cannot contain spaces and should be all lowercase.
• with ogre being 2-3 and progress 5, treasures will not be reached on success, because 2+5 = 7 (and 3+5 = 8).
• again, attribute_damage above 1 should be rare.
• gold 500 is also quite a lot. Again, remember it adds up. In this quest, they can take almost 900 gold, wow.
• group_damage 25 is a nearly guaranteed TPK. That should be reserved for much higher level quests.
• in general, by the story and events, this is a low-level quest and should be scaled down accordingly.

aside from that, it's a nice read and a cute small quest. Very nice.

[Zakilevo]

Values are high because I was originally aiming this quest to be a higher level quest, dangerous but worth the effort for parties so they can replace their items to buy magical items.

Also, I don't think it is not necessarily a bad thing to make people use magic more. We are starting to see parties with too many potions and scrolls. They are being lost more often than being used at the moment.

[Zakilevo]

Code Select Expand



title: King of the Eastern Forest

summary: Woodsman Ralph needs someone to deal with an ogre he found in the eastern forest. The ogre has already claimed two of his co-workers.

intro: >
  The party arrives at the woodsman Ralph's house where Ralph greeted them with open arms.
  He quickly led the party to the place where he first met the ogre. The party could found tracks and traces of the ogre leading back to its cave.
  The party advances to fight the ogre.

challenge:
entrance:
  intro: >
    Before entering the cave, the party is stopped by a large swamp.   
  success: >
    The party quickly crosses the swamp and enters the cave.
  failure: >
    The party has no way to cross the swamp. Ashamed and frustrated, the party leaves the area and heads back to their town.
ogre:
  intro: >
    As they reach the end of the cave, they finally encounter the ogre. It is tall and large. Taller than any creature the party has seen so far. Angered by the sight of intruders, the ogre grabs a nearby club and lets out a battlecry.
  success: >
    Despite its monstrous strength, the ogre was still just a monster. After a fierce battle, the ogre falls against the party's might.
  failure: >
    After a fierce battle, the ogre is the only one left standing. Even for the heroes, the ogre was too much to handle.
cave_chamber:
  intro: >
    As they enter deeper into the cave, they find an space big enough even for a giant. It is filled with hostile bats, hungry enough to eat anything they can get.
  success: >
    As the party draw their weapons, bats swarm them as they fall from the ceiling of the cave. The sound of battle soon dies down, leaving only the party behind. Piles of dead bats are the only thing filling the empty space beside the party.
  failure: >
    As the party draw their weapons, they are swarmed by the bats. They are quickly overwhelmed, forcing them to leave the area.
treasures: >
  intro: >
    Behind where the ogre once stood, the party finds a pile of stuff gathered by the ogre. Mostly coming from its slain foes, the party digs through the pile to see if anything is worth any value.
  success: >
    The party finds bags of gold and gems. They finds many other valuable stuff but they are too much to carry so they grab the most valuable things out of the pile then leaves the area in joy.
  failure: >
    The pile is mostly made of ogre dungs and broken equipment. There is nothing useful. The disappointed party leaves the area.
result:
tpk: >
   Woodsman Ralph waited outside for days but there was no sign of the party that went in. He still needs someone to defeat the ogre if he were to continue to make a living off of the forest.
failed: >
   Bruised and broken, the party retreats. The king of the cave was too much for them. They barely made to Ralph's house only to see Ralph shut his door before them.
success: >
   With the ogre defeated, the party returns proudly with a bag full of gold and gems to show off to. They drink and celebrate their victory in the town.
great success: >
   With the ogre defeated and its treasures in the party's possession, they return proudly and happily with a wagon full of gold, gems and other valuables to show off.



[Zakilevo]

Code Select Expand


# Quest: King of the Eastern Forest
# written by Lapallanch

min_level: 4
max_level: 6
challenges:
entrance:
  level:        [0,1]
  progress:    1
  test:        [strength, 22]
  success:
   damage:            0
   xp:                200
   gold:                0
  failure:
   group_damage:            5
cave_chamber:
  level:        [1,2]
  progress:    1
  test:        [damage, 17]
  success:
   damage:            15
   xp:                200
   gold:                80
  failure:
   group_damage:            10
ogre:
  level:        [2,4]
  progress:    2
  test:        [damage, 20]
  success:
   xp:                    300
   gold:                   100
  failure:
   group_damage:        12
   attribute_damage:    [strength, 1]
treasures:
  level: [4,8]
  endboss: true
  test: [intelligence, 20]
  success:
   xp: 300
   gold: 220
  failure: ~


[Tom]

Values are high because I was originally aiming this quest to be a higher level quest, dangerous but worth the effort for parties so they can replace their items to buy magical items.

Also, I don't think it is not necessarily a bad thing to make people use magic more. We are starting to see parties with too many potions and scrolls. They are being lost more often than being used at the moment.

It's absolutely not a bad thing. I just wanted to make sure you are aware of what it is that will happen there.

[Tom]

# Quest: King of the Eastern Forest

This is getting very good!

One more thing I spotted: You can't give gold or XP on failure, only on success.

[Zakilevo]

This is getting very good!

One more thing I spotted: You can't give gold or XP on failure, only on success.

Changed to 0.

[Tom]

Changed to 0.

No, remove the line entirely. It will never even be read.

[Zakilevo]

Removed the failure section.

[Tom]

Removed the failure section.

ah. my bad, sorry.

You can't leave out sections. If you want it to have default values, they syntax is:

failure: ~

(tilde character)

[Zakilevo]

ah. my bad, sorry.

You can't leave out sections. If you want it to have default values, they syntax is:

failure: ~

(tilde character)

Done.

[Crayne]

It's not a 3-6 quest. Level 6 is quite high. Maybe a 2-4 quest, or if you want to keep damage values high, 3-4
Edited

150 xp for the first challenge seems high, it's a simple test with no bad consequences. 50 or 100 maybe?
The reason I put it that high is because from an OOC perspective it's an important lesson: don't always attack just because you can. But yeah, 100 is fine too. Will edit. :)

Also the 1st challenge could be one that can be continued even if they fail the test, in which case there would be battle with damage, but they follow the next group or something.
Right, so change the failure text and the way I think quests work. ;)

"clearing" lacks a progress parameter
Will add

In general, the progress is not entirely clear. You seem to want it linear, why not use simple +1 everywhere?
I thought all quests are linear. Still not sure how progress works in that respect. When they do a challenge and succeed, it checks whether there's a challenge with the new progress level, if not, it repeats a previous one until they do gain enough progress to advance to the next challenge?

The forest / golem fight - 30 damage is a LOT. It can be done (I've done it in Deathtrap Dungeon), but understand that it really is massive.
Eh, it can go down. I was guessing there.

I don't understand why the clearing fight deals no damage on success. If that's intentional, make the text more clear as to why.
Probably an oversight on my part. Will reread and edit accordingly.

Likewise, why it deals group damage and attribute damage is not clear. Fights usually cause normal damage (in marching order), so the fighters can shield the squishies.
Probably a remnant of a copy/paste action, since this quest contains one challenge more than your Rats example. Will edit.

10 group damage in the end fight will almost certainly kill one or two squishies. Group damage is EVERYONE. On a typical 4-character-party, this is the equivalent of 40-50 normal damage.
Will tone down.

Toughness -4 is just insane. -1 is normal, -2 is serious, -3 I would reserve for dragons and djinns. It will take 6-10 quests to recover that damage!
Let's not do that then. -2 should be enough.

[Crayne]

Edited:

Code Select Expand


title: The Necromancer's Song
summary: Local priest Father Simeon has sounded the alarm bell as more and more of his crypts seem to be disgorging their occupants.
intro: >
The party meet a shaken Father Simeon at the local tavern, fearful as he is of staying too close to the cemetery next to his small chapel on the outskirts of town. He tells them of strange barely
audible music coming from the forest near to the cemetery, and of the dead who wake and leave their coffins to find its source. They don't seem to be very interested in traditional living dead activities
such as menacing the living, but he can't tolerate the sanctity of the cemetery violated in such a manner. He pleads with the party to find the source of the music and remove it, so that the dead may
rest again.
challenge:
  gates:
    intro: >
    Approaching the cemetery gates, the party is confronted with several living dead attempting to shamble away from their not so final resting places. They ignore the party, intent on shambling past
    towards the woods.
    success: The party correctly assumes they can safely follow from a distance and follow the dead into the forest.
    failure: >
    Attempting to send the living dead back to their graves backfired and the dead are victorious while the survivors lick their wounds.
  forest:
    intro: >
    The forest is dark and foreboding, but then, it always is. In the distance witchfire leaps from stone to stone in some kind of clearing. However, before they get there, they are confronted by a
    tombstone golem. "I smell the stench of life on you," it grumbles and attacks.
    success: >
    The group hastily grabs its weapons and shield, just in time to stop the murderous blows the golem deals. In a war of attrition, they manage to whittle the stone abomination down to a beligerent
    pebble before dispatching it with a final blow.
    failure: With little time to prepare, the group gets hammered by heavy blows. Soon, they find themselves defeated by this stone abomination.
  clearing:
    intro: >
    In the clearing, a hooded figure sits cross-legged, playing a flute made of a dark wood. The assembled dead, hundreds of them by now, stand swaying around the figure. As the party enter the
    clearing, the music stops and the figure pulls back its hood, revealing a gaunt, yet somehow striking feminine face. The woman stands and bows before barking commands in a language that
    makes the party's ears hurt. The dead fix them with their empty stares and advance.
    success: The party manages to wade through the masses of decomposing flesh to confront the figure at the center of it all.
    failure: Overwhelmed by the hordes of living dead, the party's quest ends most abruptly.
  necromancer:
    intro: >
    Her hordes of living dead defeated, the woman stands tall and snarls. Her fingers form complex arcane signs and she starts muttering strange incantations. The party waste no time and attack
    before she can do any damage.
    success: The woman attempts to wreak dark havoc on the party, but to no avail. As the final blow is struck, her dark magic dies with her.
    failure: >
    Too little, too late. As the party attacks, the necromancer unleashes spells that suck the life from her opponents. The party is horrendously defeated, leaving the woman in the woords to her dark
    schemes.
result:
  tpk: Father Simeon waits and waits, not knowing that the woman in the woods has added another few minions to her flock.
  failed: >
  After reporting back to Father Simeon, the party drowns its sorrows in the tavern. It's not long before another party is approached to solve the Father's problem. Perhaps they can succeed where
  this party has failed.
  success: Having subdued the necromancer's apprentice, the party reports back to Father Simeon and receives a token of his appreciation.


Code Select Expand


# Quest: The Necromancer's Song
# written by Ferry Bazelmans <crayne_vamp@hotmail.com>

min_level: 2
max_level: 4
challenges:
gates:
  level: [0,2]
  progress: 1
  test: [Wisdom, 15]
  success:
   damage: 0
   xp: 75
   gold: 0
  failure:
   damage: 15
forest:
  level: [2,4]
  progress: 2
  test: [Damage, 20]
  success:
   damage: 10
   xp: 250
   gold: 0
  failure:
   damage: 20
clearing:
  level: [4,6]
  progress: 2
  test: [Damage, 25]
  success:
   damage: 10
   xp: 100
   gold: 60
  failure:
   damage: 15
necromancer:
  level: [6,8]
  endboss: true
  trophy: ["The Necromancer's Flute", 3, 1]
  test: [Magic, 25]
  success:
   xp: 400
   gold: 100
  failure:
   group_damage: 6
   attribute_damage: [Toughness, 2]


[Zakilevo]

Code Select Expand


title: Punch the Cultist

summary: Priest Anthoni needs a party to deal with a strange cult that has settled in his town. He wants these heretical practices to stop before it threatens the holy faith.

intro: >
  The party arrives in a small town where they are greeted by Priest Anthoni. He asks the party to search the hideout of the vile cult and stop them before they begin to influence the minds of the good people of the town. The party departs immediately to find clues about the cult.

challenge:
investigation:
  intro: >
    The party goes around the town, asking people about the strange cult that has rooted in the town.
  success: >
    The party finds someone who claims to have attended a sermon held by the cult.
  failure: >
    The investigation comes to a halt due to being unable to find a lead. Disappointed, the party returns to the displeased priest.
predicament:
  intro: >
    The person who claimed to have attended a sermon turns out to be a cultist! He has led the party to a trap! The cultist and corrupted townsfolk surround the party.
  success: >
    Despite being outnumbered four to one, the party manages to defeat the cultist and his underlings. Now it is time to find the rest of the cult.
  failure: >
    The party is quickly overwhelmed by the sheer number of townsfolk surrounding them. Soon no one from the party shows any sign of resistance. Relieved by their victory, the cultist and townsfolk leave the devastated party behind.
trap:
  intro: >
    After defeating the first cultist, the party enters what seems to be the cult's hideout. It leads to an underground compartment. As the last member of the party enters the underground structure, the party hears something trigger beneath them.
  success: >
    The moment they hears the sound, everyone jumps to a nearest room. As they jump, streams of fire burn the place they stood just a moment ago.
  failure: >
    Before the party could react, streams of fire engulf the party. The trap burns the party to a crisp.
panther: >
  intro: >
    As the party travels deeper into the structure, they find a cage big enough to imprison a large beast. Strangely enough, the gate of the cage is not closed. As they approach the cage, they realize that someone... or something is watching them from the cage. The party throws a torch into the cage to check and at the same time, something dark jumps out of the cage to attack the party.
  success: >
    The party strikes the dark creature down before it can harm anyone. The creature gets a quick death. The creature turns out to be an abnormally large panther. What is it doing here?
  failure: >
    The shadowy figure strikes the party's most vulnerable member down first then one by one it brings the party to submission. The figure turns out to be a large panther, bigger than anything the party has seen before.
cult: >
  intro: >
    The party finally arrives in a large room, full of armed people wearing black robes. It is obvious that these people are what the party has been looking for. Behind the armed cultists, one person stands out. He is the only one wearing a red robe. He shouts in a strange language which makes all the cultists to attack the party.
  success: >
    The party leaves only dead bodies in their trail. There is only one enemy left to deal with. The leader of the cult.
  failure: >
    The cultists defeat the party without trouble. They corner the party quickly then attack them until they finally break.
vile_cultist: >
  intro: >
    The party draws weapons as the cult leader recites a some sort of mantra in an unknown language. Before the party can do anything, his robe expanses along with his body. The cult leader turns out to be a demon in hiding! Time to put this vile creature down before it can cause more chaos!
  success: >
    The demon showed why people are so afraid of its kind. Its inhuman strength and speed cornered the party few times. Its fire breathing mouth turned nearby objects to ashes. However, at the end, the party manages to strike a fatal blow into the demon's heart. As it turns into ashes, the party leaves the room.
  failure: >
    The party fought valiantly but it wasn't enough to defeat the demon. The demon quickly crushes the last standing member of the party. As the last member falls to the ground, the demon's mocking laughter echoes through the whole underground compartment.
tpk: >
   Priest Anthoni awaits for the party to return but he soon realizes the party has failed. After all, he is the one who is called for their funeral.
failed: >
   Bruises and cuts are the only reward they are getting for today. The party returns without much to show. At least they are alive.
success: >
   With both the cult and the demon leading it vanquished, peace has returned to the town. The party returns to the town with Priest Anthoni's blessing and rewards he has promised.