You need less interaction now with the new estate system than ever before. When I began to play, I had to talk with Lords to take an estate and so on. Now you can start in a region and your Lord and Duke even need to know you.
You can't force people to interact
meaningfully by requiring them to ask you for an estate. All that does is encourage Lords to be stingy with estates, and make new players, who may be shy and afraid of making a blunder, less likely to be able to actually
do stuff in their first few days in the game.
For new players, it's much more important for their Lord or Duke to welcome
them than it is to require
them to introduce themselves.
Scout reports, military orders, asking for estates, directing people here or there for region maintenance—none of that is the kind of interaction that is going to hold people's interest. The best kind of interaction for that is roleplaying—not necessarily writing long narrative messages, but chatting amongst each other about things going on in the realm and the world.