I think there are also other things you should try if you feel there's something about the game that you like, but you're just not currently getting the experience you hoped.
You mentioned that you like magic at the start of this thread. Well, you could look at Angmar on Beluaterra. That realm is all about magic, and it has nobles and adventurers working closely together. It's been a bit disorganized since it lost its previous ruler, but is trying to get back on course. Of course, in this game, magic means collecting and casting scrolls, as well as prizing unique items. The game as a whole isn't a full on 'hurl a fireball at your enemy' sort of game, but Angmar puts more emphasis on magic than any other realm in the game.
On Dwilight, I'm the ruler of Westgard (which tends to be a very active realm in terms of player interactions - so conversations even for those not in positions of power), and I'd invite you to create a character there and I'll try to find aspects of the game for you to enjoy if you can clearly tell me what you're looking to get out of the game. If, after I've tried to create a role in the game to suit you, you're still not enjoying things, you (and the rest of us) will at least understand that BM just isn't the game for you.
On the other hand, I know that Avernus on Dwilight is a very active and organized military realm and actively seeks out battle. You would definitely get to fight battles there, but probably also have to run or support takeovers (which you seem to hate).
Looking more widely at the game, there are also different character classes that may suit you better. The infiltrator class gives a player much greater freedom to play the game in their own way. If you think that being an assassin and thief could be something that would interest you, that could be a class to try. Although it does take time to train up the skills to become an effective infiltrator.
Looking at the other classes, there's the priest. The priest game is very different to the normal game. It depends a lot on social interaction and communication and is very good for people who like to roleplay. However, it has nothing to do with fighting and battles, and so may not suit you for those reasons. However, there's scope for you to create a new religion almost anywhere in the game (perhaps apart from in the Sanguis Astroism realms on Dwilight).
Finally, remember that you have several different character slots for a reason. You could play one or two characters as warriors to get the war-fighting aspect of the game, then a third character as an infiltrator to get that part of the the game, and a forth character as a priest to try that part of the game (in addition to adventurers). This game has a lot of potential diversity across its playing experience if you choose to seek it out. It also allows you to play several different characters in several different places so that if on place is boring, there's probably something of interest happening in one of the other places where you have a character. The game design itself acknowledges that some areas will be dull at some times, and gives you a way to have another area were something of interest is going on.
Again, assuming there's something about the game that's kept you playing this far when you're not getting satisfaction, think about trying the things I've suggested. But, ultimately, not everyone will enjoy BM. Just as not everyone will enjoy every game.
