Roleplay from Calculon Rizz Player experience level: mentor Player play preference: rp-combat
Message sent to all nobles of Sandalak (21 recipients) - 16 days, 4 hours, 57 minutes ago
"Is that raaha?" Bo asks, looking at the chunky little bud in Calculon's outstretched hand.
"Yes!!!" Calculon trills, excitedly of course, as he sips on his - or Bo's, rather - midnight coffee.
"Where the heck did you get it?" Bo asks.
"From the Bard! In East Continent!"
"Who the heck is the Bard?" Bo asks.
"He's, um... a friend of my brother's! Tetraxian! Well, well, hang on, Tetraxian is my brother, the Bard is Merec Merritson!" Calculon tries to explain. "Merec... the Bard, he gave me some of his smoky-stuff just before I left! He said it would 'Chill me out!' But it was cold there, so I didn't want to! But he insisted I keep it! So I still have it!"
"It's cold here, too," says Bo, trying to figure out a way to change Calculon's mind about smoking raaha while the back of his tired mind tickles about something else, something he can't quite drag out into the light of the crackling fire and the Saenna moon.
I don't know if anything can chill him out... he thinks, as whatever the other thing was slips away.
"A-haaa!" Calculon crows triumphantly. "But don't you see, Bo? I have been thinking about the Bard's words a great deal! And I now believe them to be a turn of phrase! Possessed of a hidden meaning, if you will!"
Uh-oh, you're starting to understand those..?
"So!" Calculon continues, paying no mind to the uncomfortable look on Bo's face, "I want to try it, Bo! It's been a loooooong time since I fought a battle now, and I'm still jittery from the kraken attack! I need to chill out!"
You sure it's not because it's past midnight, and you're on your twelfth or so cup of coffee..?
"Thank you for saving me from that kraken, by the way! And treating me to your kind - if somewhat rustic and slightly uncomfortable and dirty - hospitality while I recovered from that... those..."
"The bends," says Bo, surprised enough by Calculon thanking anyone to let the backhanded compliment slide.
"Ah, yes! The bends! Ah, yes, I was all bendy! Bendier than Bendy Lou!"
Bo blinks and looks harder at Calculon. "Bendy Lou?" he asks. Why is that name so familiar..?
"Ah, yes! Lou, Lou, Bendy Lou!" Calculon sings.
Why do I feel like I know this song? Bo muses.
Calculon continues. "You see, the Bard is a singer! He sings songs! Mostly very inappropriate and uncouth ones! Songs about crime and violence and having sex with women! He's very entertaining!"
You know what sex is now? The heck were you up to up East, Calculon Rizz?
"Hey, let me get some of that," Bo says, reaching a decision and for Calculon's cup.
To Bo's surprise, he faces no resistance, as Calculon cheerily hands him the cup and pulls out another, seemingly out of thin air, and refills it from the still-steaming kettle. "Now you're in the spirit! Come, Bo, let's get hopped-up and chilled-out!" Calculon cheers, a little extra-loudly.
Bo shushes him, looking around warily. He hasn't worn his mask out. Seeing no spies, gossips, tale-bearers, backbiters, or any other species of vermin, he turns back to the fire, takes a sip and lets the coffee start to settle in even as he mourns the loss of his sleep.
Bendy Lou...Lou, Lou, Bendy Lou... "Hey, can you sing me the rest of that song?" he asks, trying to sound casual with his cup near his lips, his breath scattering steam as he speaks and sips.
But Calculon, as largely-oblivious as he is to the intricacies of human interaction, is a shrewd-enough businessman - and more importantly, in this case, politician - to know when he has something someone wants, and how to use that to get what he wants, and his big round eyes tighten into shrewd little slits even as he smiles widely at Bo.
"Help me smoke this smoky-stuff, Bo Dodger, and I will sing you the song of Bendy Lou!" he declares.
Bo tries to protest - he's married and has three kids now, he hasn't smoked raaha in years - but to no avail. Calculon is implacable, and the tickling at the back of Bo's mind has become an itch needing to be scratched...
