BattleMaster Community
BattleMaster => BM General Discussion => Topic started by: Gustav Kuriga on July 26, 2011, 03:46:41 PM
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Put down the funniest thing you remember seeing in battlemaster.
The funniest thing I remember is when Norland decided to declare war on Minas Ithil while MI was fighting Tara and Coria (can't remember if CE was part of it as well), and proceeded to get curb stomped by Darka.
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Probably the Itaulond secession. Or Thain boasting to Cathay that they would never sack his capital, and 2 weeks later he is trading his capital for peace.
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http://wiki.battlemaster.org/wiki/Quotes#Famous_Last_Words
Duke Thorson Jorvik promising to JeanOlivier: "I will have your head if it took me forever." And then getting killed in battle 12 minutes later when his city is sacked.
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Aside from things on the quotes page (which is an awesome page, by the way), then I think the funniest thing for me was when Abington attack the recently-colonized city of Wayburg, and because of the wonky diplomacy with new colonies all of the realms who had formed the colony sided with Abington against the new Kybcyell.
Made much, much sweeter because this was when the Marshal with the highest leadership on a side took charge of all the armies on that side.
So, you saw the CE, Tara, Darka, MI, and whomever else the hell was involved all marching under the banner of Grand Poopah of Abington.
Ah, the RP's that day...
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Hmm... I think that happened right before I joined Darka. I was on the next campaign, where we tried to establish a second colony down there. That was the campaign where Darka was looting Suville, and Abington's army was in Webgard, right next door. We did a sneaky maneuver where Darka moved out to Webgard. Abinton must have thought it was a misdirect by Darka trying to convince Abington to stay in Webgard. So Abington decided to call our bluff and move to Suville to catch us. Our two armies swapped regions, and we ran for it out of Abington as fast as we could, with Abington running after us. :D
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Hamilton Vita's lighting EC ablaze was pretty funny...
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The Guy Raven incident rofl. He assassinated Evangeline and got 7000 gold but he didn't want to pay property tax of Sirion. So, he Ibladesh to avoid it but he forgot to convert his bonds to gold and lost all 7k gold rofl. He quit playing after that.
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Unpredictable game mechanics are always good for a laugh.
I remember when I started a rebellion before turn change in Toren certain of eventual victory. No-one told me that the rebellion code had been knackered for yonks and it would instantly fail when the turn came. Thing is, my co-conspirators knew about it, but because I was so enthusiastic about a rebellion they thought I knew something they didn't and let me do it. Awkward moment for everyone involved really >.<
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When Paul Keithson, in Oligarch, made it illegal to say the word "Avamar" outside of military discussions.
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Hamilton Vita's lighting EC ablaze was pretty funny...
I wish I'd saved some of the letters from when he was in Westmoor towards the end of that. Not to mention the tournament where he bought about 50 rounds of drinks...
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http://wiki.battlemaster.org/wiki/Quotes#Famous_Last_Words
Duke Thorson Jorvik promising to JeanOlivier: "I will have your head if it took me forever." And then getting killed in battle 12 minutes later when his city is sacked.
That still has me giggling.
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I'm sure there have been several events in the past where a hero died in a battle the following turn after declaring his/her bloodlust. That's why I usually don't make any such remarks. Nothing good comes of it.
My example is in the summer of 2008, when some hero in Fontan who was lord of Oberndorf or something...I forgot his name, lol... He said he'd death duel Ramuh and have his head or something. Then that afternoon turn he died in some rural fighting monsters. I ultralolled and had a bunch of dudes in Fontan lining up to death duel me.
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I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. I was laughing about that one. I like reminders not to take a game too seriously, and it's hard to beat a realm named that.
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Oh yeah? Just wait until I form Tuchanon EMACS, so we can go to war with Tuchanon VI. We're gonna be so serious it'll make your brain explode.
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You know, I've never had the honor of dealing with any of the Tuchanons. But, I approve of EMACS. Yes I do.
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I maintain my position that, if and when I ever get around to seceding a realm, I want to name it Tuchanon, even though I have not even the slightest connection to any of the previous Tuchanons.
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I maintain my position that, if and when I ever get around to seceding a realm, I want to name it Tuchanon, even though I have not even the slightest connection to any of the previous Tuchanons.
Do it! But skip a number. If the last was Tuchanon IV, create Tuchanon VI!
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Do it! But skip a number. If the last was Tuchanon IV, create Tuchanon VI!
Tuchanon X would just look cool!
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Tuchanon Xtreeeeem!
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I would name mine "A completely ordinary realm name." I would call our Judge "Banker", our General "The Road Warrior", and our Banker "The Thief".
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Many years ago I was trying to overthrow Corey's government in Antoza Commonwealth and I accidentally sent a "want to rebel with me" message, which was addressed to the duke, to the whole realm.
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My funniest moment in battlemaster occurred with the wacky rebellion code:
I declare a rebellion, and have a vast majority of the realm backing me. The Ruler of our realm decides to step down therefore causing the rebellion to be declared a success and my character became ruler of the realm. Seconds later, I am banned from the realm because my rebellion has just succeeded against myself again apparently and I was banned from the realm, losing both the rulership and Ducal seat of the capitol. (Coria, Atamara)
I thought that was pretty amusing when I wasn't considering how I just screwed up everything I'd worked for a long time. ;)
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Who or what is Tuchanon?
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My funniest moment in battlemaster occurred with the wacky rebellion code:
I declare a rebellion, and have a vast majority of the realm backing me. The Ruler of our realm decides to step down therefore causing the rebellion to be declared a success and my character became ruler of the realm. Seconds later, I am banned from the realm because my rebellion has just succeeded against myself again apparently and I was banned from the realm, losing both the rulership and Ducal seat of the capitol. (Coria, Atamara)
I thought that was pretty amusing when I wasn't considering how I just screwed up everything I'd worked for a long time. ;)
A bit similar ridiculous thing that happened in Westmoor not to long ago. We all wanted our King gone, so Sir Nicholas(I think dead now?) starts a rebellion just to get the King out. The rest of the nobles of the realm decided to join the loyalists, but protest the King out of office because we didn't think a rebellion was necessary. Sir Nickolas' unit gets destroyed, and the King is protested out. Then a voting happens and finishes at the same time as the rebellions concludes. Since there was no King the rebellion succeeds, and many nobles lose their positions, and Sir Nicholas becomes king. Since though the voting also finished, Sir Flaylen, who won, becomes King and replaces Sir Nicholas as King as soon as he got the position.
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Who or what is Tuchanon?
A realm name that keeps coming back.
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http://wiki.battlemaster.org/wiki/Tuchanon
http://wiki.battlemaster.org/wiki/Tuchanon_II
http://wiki.battlemaster.org/wiki/Tuchanon_III
http://wiki.battlemaster.org/wiki/Tuchanon_IV
http://wiki.battlemaster.org/wiki/Tuchanon_V
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Do it! But skip a number. If the last was Tuchanon IV, create Tuchanon VI!
Pah, it's been done. There was never a Tuchanon III. Just a successful Tuchanite rebellion in Southasland. If you wanted to be really mischievous, you'd go back to III to fill in the blank :-P
http://wiki.battlemaster.org/wiki/Tuchanon_III
Having said that all that about Tuchanon III though, totally didn't know someone had recreated Southasland in 2009, however briefly. What is it with Dukes of Tucha splintering off when the going gets tough?
My funniest moment in battlemaster occurred with the wacky rebellion code:
That reminds me of what happened in Caergoth a couple of weeks back:
Rebellion in Caergoth (14 days, 19 hours ago)
The government of Caergoth has been overthrown in a bloody rebellion. The leader of the rebel forces, Macrinus Sciurus, has been announced the new ruler.
Ruler Elected (14 days, 19 hours ago)
The realm of Caergoth has elected Ishtar D'Anglos as its Queen.
She received 3% of the valid votes cast.
One day, it would be nice for rebellion code to take precedence over election code. If the rebels are storming the palace, you're probably not well placed to be having a coronation day, y'know? >.<
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That reminds me of what happened in Caergoth a couple of weeks back:
Rebellion in Caergoth (14 days, 19 hours ago)
The government of Caergoth has been overthrown in a bloody rebellion. The leader of the rebel forces, Macrinus Sciurus, has been announced the new ruler.
Ruler Elected (14 days, 19 hours ago)
The realm of Caergoth has elected Ishtar D'Anglos as its Queen.
She received 3% of the valid votes cast.
One day, it would be nice for rebellion code to take precedence over election code. If the rebels are storming the palace, you're probably not well placed to be having a coronation day, y'know? >.<
What was really amusing about that little mess was that the loyalists destroyed the rebels in the capital only to watch the seriously wounded rebel leader storm the palace anyway because there was no ruler. Add in the election override after that and, well...we just don't care anymore.
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That was a nice rebellion party indeed, hope we throw them more often.
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Anyone remember Toren's non-stop rebellions back on SEI? Those were pretty funny too... IIRC we had a little betting pool in Taselak, trying to predict who would be the next rebel leader and when he would have a go.
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Anyone remember Toren's non-stop rebellions back on SEI? Those were pretty funny too... IIRC we had a little betting pool in Taselak, trying to predict who would be the next rebel leader and when he would have a go.
Oh yea...!
Toren, the laughing stock of the SEI.
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Part of this conversation has made me want to make a realm where the Ruler is called the "Dungeonmaster", Judge "Cleric", General "Barbarian" and the Banker the "Thief". Could fit a Mage in somewhere. All realm decisions will be made using a d20.
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Part of this conversation has made me want to make a realm where the Ruler is called the "Dungeonmaster", Judge "Cleric", General "Barbarian" and the Banker the "Thief". Could fit a Mage in somewhere. All realm decisions will be made using a d20.
That would be something to do on Atamara, Beluterra, or the Colonies--colonies primarily because the one-turn a day makes things like that a little easier.
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Leaving aside the D&D references, you could totally make a theocracy devoted to the God of Gambling and have everything managed by a roll of the dice in a manner similar to trial by combat...
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For those who have played Fallout: New Vegas, there's actually a paradigm which would be easy enough to straight up steal.
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One although not in battlemaster was last week. I driving my sister to the a local mall up North in the province. When all of a sudden I was stuck in a trafic jam on some small never used (this is a shortcut) road.
When she asked why we were standing still I remarked "Must be some peasant blocking the road....." Guess thats one for the 'I play to much battlemaster - wikilist'
My entire time in Outer Tilog was great, superior fun and best strange RP's ever.
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Most of the funniest moments for me have been explaining away bugs or other strange goings-on with RP. For example in Belegmon in 2008, where after a huge battle, a single evading troop-leader prevented the victors from looting the battlefield, and I ended up playing Crip's whole troop as being petrified of "The Pointy Swords" that meant they cowered from that single troop and couldn't loot anything for fear of being ambushed by the pointy swords.
I also rather enjoyed a time in Minas Ithil, where there was a player who had two characters: one named "Baron" and one named "Count" (yes, those were the first names). Conveniently, I'd always roleplayed my character Dor as having troops as thick as they come, so I could entertain myself with roleplaying them as completely confused by whether there was a Baron Baron or a Count Count, or not. And then, to my delight, Count because Baron of Elost not long after his brother Baron had been Baron. So we actually had a Baron Baron and a Baron Count in the realm... the confusion that caused Dor's troops' overworked braincells ended up with the phrase:
Juthri: Count's Baron now so that doesn't count. It was Baron Baron but now it's Baron Count, not Count Baron. Baron Count is no-longer-Baron Baron's brother Count. So that [pointing at the flask] is going to remain barren; you can count on that.
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Most of the funniest moments for me have been explaining away bugs or other strange goings-on with RP. For example in Belegmon in 2008, where after a huge battle, a single evading troop-leader prevented the victors from looting the battlefield, and I ended up playing Crip's whole troop as being petrified of "The Pointy Swords" that meant they cowered from that single troop and couldn't loot anything for fear of being ambushed by the pointy swords.
I also rather enjoyed a time in Minas Ithil, where there was a player who had two characters: one named "Baron" and one named "Count" (yes, those were the first names). Conveniently, I'd always roleplayed my character Dor as having troops as thick as they come, so I could entertain myself with roleplaying them as completely confused by whether there was a Baron Baron or a Count Count, or not. And then, to my delight, Count because Baron of Elost not long after his brother Baron had been Baron. So we actually had a Baron Baron and a Baron Count in the realm... the confusion that caused Dor's troops' overworked braincells ended up with the phrase:
Juthri: Count's Baron now so that doesn't count. It was Baron Baron but now it's Baron Count, not Count Baron. Baron Count is no-longer-Baron Baron's brother Count. So that [pointing at the flask] is going to remain barren; you can count on that.
You sir, are a wordsmith.
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I don't know if this has been mentioned yet, but Sacha blowing himself up with demo charges deserves an honorable mention at least.
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I think that honor goes to me from the time I was in Morek. Severely injured myself, leaving me helpless for a whole week...
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Ah, I almost forgot... in the run-up to the last civil war in PeL, the dissident judge launched an impeachment referendum against the Queen. She then kicked out the rebel duchy, but got impeached by the loyalists instead due to a quirk in the code that would have caused her to lose the throne no matter which side got the most votes.
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As for me, it would have to be the Guy Revan incident on EI, (as already mentioned) 7K in bonds, gone completely. Hilarious... to everyone except him. I believe I heard that he RP'ed it as walking around Ibladesh City ripping up the bonds and throwing them at peasants or something.
Or I could reach wwwaaaay back to Minas Ithil's golden age and say Raziel's ICBMs. Those where the good ole days...
Vellos, I honestly thought that I would log back in and find that Paul had gotten bolted for that. If I remember correctly, I didn't log in for about... 24 hours because I didn't want to know how it turned out.
...as a study on how people react to displays of power, I only had to give out... one fine? Maybe two? We're not talking about a small Avamarian population here, nearly 80% of that realm joined Oligarch - and they TALKED constantly! And yet, one threat from the "law" and they all followed. Displays of power, no matter how they are disguised, will be followed by 90% of the population - just because.
So Rulers, if you want to shake up your realm, do it. Literally, figuratively, whatever. Just do whatever you want and no one will really stand against you. After all, rebelling is hard work.
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As for me, it would have to be the Guy Revan incident on EI, (as already mentioned) 7K in bonds, gone completely. Hilarious... to everyone except him. I believe I heard that he RP'ed it as walking around Ibladesh City ripping up the bonds and throwing them at peasants or something.
Or I could reach wwwaaaay back to Minas Ithil's golden age and say Raziel's ICBMs. Those where the good ole days...
Vellos, I honestly thought that I would log back in and find that Paul had gotten bolted for that. If I remember correctly, I didn't log in for about... 24 hours because I didn't want to know how it turned out.
...as a study on how people react to displays of power, I only had to give out... one fine? Maybe two? We're not talking about a small Avamarian population here, nearly 80% of that realm joined Oligarch - and they TALKED constantly! And yet, one threat from the "law" and they all followed. Displays of power, no matter how they are disguised, will be followed by 90% of the population - just because.
So Rulers, if you want to shake up your realm, do it. Literally, figuratively, whatever. Just do whatever you want and no one will really stand against you. After all, rebelling is hard work.
As long as that 10% aren't dukes. Or don't have good ties with foreign powers. Improper use of force can also make one lose influence, if it makes people believe one is more bark than bite.
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As long as that 10% aren't dukes. Or don't have good ties with foreign powers. Improper use of force can also make one lose influence, if it makes people believe one is more bark than bite.
Who said anything about barking? Heck, that's half the problem - Rulers, (I use that word to describe anyone with power) who talk more then they do.
There is no such thing as improper use of force; there is only the failed use of force. If you want something, get it. If someone tries to stop you, then smack them. One thing I liked - and tried to encourage - was that every noble can be useful. Most of them won't be, but occasionally one will. If you can get one, you can get an army. Don't like a Duke? Find someone who might be better and give it to them. Support a new Judge - or a new Banker. If some random guy off the street and make him the Hero for the week. After all, if that random guy is the hero, then that Marshal from the other Duchy can't be.
Dukes are very powerful - why would you want a Duke to be anyone other then your most loyal and trustworthy friend? Honestly, I would see half of the realms in BattleMaster burn, (and you can throw my favorites in that half) just to see brand new positions of power open up. Reason? It gives a chance for failure and success. Be like water, my friend - flow to the weakest and either destroy them (and take their power) or help them (and gain their assistance).
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Who said anything about barking? Heck, that's half the problem - Rulers, (I use that word to describe anyone with power) who talk more then they do.
There is no such thing as improper use of force; there is only the failed use of force. If you want something, get it. If someone tries to stop you, then smack them. One thing I liked - and tried to encourage - was that every noble can be useful. Most of them won't be, but occasionally one will. If you can get one, you can get an army. Don't like a Duke? Find someone who might be better and give it to them. Support a new Judge - or a new Banker. If some random guy off the street and make him the Hero for the week. After all, if that random guy is the hero, then that Marshal from the other Duchy can't be.
Dukes are very powerful - why would you want a Duke to be anyone other then your most loyal and trustworthy friend? Honestly, I would see half of the realms in BattleMaster burn, (and you can throw my favorites in that half) just to see brand new positions of power open up. Reason? It gives a chance for failure and success. Be like water, my friend - flow to the weakest and either destroy them (and take their power) or help them (and gain their assistance).
You seem to grossly overestimate the power a ruler has over anyone.
Can't fine anyone unless your judge wants to be oppressive. Most do not, some because they will be the target of the protests (not you), and most of them are elected too and need to remain popular.
Dukes smack rulers as they please, not the other way around.
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"You seem to grossly overestimate the power a ruler has over anyone."
Positions = More buttons.
More buttons, however, don't equal more power. The Prophet of Sangis Astrom, (however you spell it) has more power then most Rulers. Does the Prophet have more buttons? I never said "Rulers, do whatever you like because you can do it all yourself!" (I actually used the word 'Ruler' in a very general manner)
No, I said "Do what you want and no one, (context: speaking of the other, non-positioned nobles) will stop you." If your a Duke and want to get rid of a Ruler, there's ways to do that. None of them really involve button pushing. Rulers can get rid of Dukes. Again, not really from a "button mindset", but it can be done.
Hyperbole is (partly) what I intended in my earlier post. All good hyperbole has a basis in truth though.
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"You seem to grossly overestimate the power a ruler has over anyone."
Positions = More buttons.
More buttons, however, don't equal more power. The Prophet of Sangis Astrom, (however you spell it) has more power then most Rulers. Does the Prophet have more buttons? I never said "Rulers, do whatever you like because you can do it all yourself!" (I actually used the word 'Ruler' in a very general manner)
No, I said "Do what you want and no one, (context: speaking of the other, non-positioned nobles) will stop you." If your a Duke and want to get rid of a Ruler, there's ways to do that. None of them really involve button pushing. Rulers can get rid of Dukes. Again, not really from a "button mindset", but it can be done.
Hyperbole is (partly) what I intended in my earlier post. All good hyperbole has a basis in truth though.
Buttons don't give all power, but they do give power. You'd be surprised how much damage a few well-placed nobles could do to SA (or any other organization), if they were willing to accept the backlash, thanks to buttons.
You spoke as if rulers could just, alone, dictate whatever they will, and replace people at will. Most rulers come to power with the dukes already picked and not about to step down. And when dukeships free themselves, many of these are up to elections of some kind or another and not direct arbitrary appointment.
Ruler+council = powerful. But Ruler-council = impotent.
The ruler's main asset is that the position is a passive ally magnet.
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The ruler's main asset is that the position is a passive ally magnet.
Or a passive chick magnet?
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Or a passive chick magnet?
Considering the demographics of the BM nobles, I'd say no.
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Serko won the rulership of Ethiala with his votes only, was protested out of office, purchased the Dukeship title by corrupting the government of the capital, was fined into oblivion by the Judge for refusing to step down, could not be removed from the realm because he was a Royal, and ended up being forced out after he assassinated the Judge, and attempted to assassinate the new king.
He's the reason there is a limit on fines. ;-)
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Vellos, I honestly thought that I would log back in and find that Paul had gotten bolted for that. If I remember correctly, I didn't log in for about... 24 hours because I didn't want to know how it turned out.
...as a study on how people react to displays of power, I only had to give out... one fine? Maybe two? We're not talking about a small Avamarian population here, nearly 80% of that realm joined Oligarch - and they TALKED constantly! And yet, one threat from the "law" and they all followed. Displays of power, no matter how they are disguised, will be followed by 90% of the population - just because.
The primary form of "dissent" they used was by over-following the law, if I remember correctly. Paris especially would delete the word "Avamar" even from scout report headers or from strategy related discussions, and would replace it with work-arounds like "The City of Democracy" or some such pompous nonsense.
Then again, at that time, we were also promising them a new homeland in Oroya if Rubber Ducky succeeded... so they had incentives to cooperate.
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Buttons don't give all power, but they do give power. You'd be surprised how much damage a few well-placed nobles could do to SA (or any other organization), if they were willing to accept the backlash, thanks to buttons.
You spoke as if rulers could just, alone, dictate whatever they will, and replace people at will. Most rulers come to power with the dukes already picked and not about to step down. And when dukeships free themselves, many of these are up to elections of some kind or another and not direct arbitrary appointment.
Ruler+council = powerful. But Ruler-council = impotent.
The ruler's main asset is that the position is a passive ally magnet.
Why rule from the foreground as ruler when you can rule from the background as a lower non-council position anyway? The Ruler's buttons don't even mean much anyway. Much better to just have the ruler be a puppet of yours and control the entire council by putting friends in office in return for favors (or just for power itself). hehe...
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Why rule from the foreground as ruler when you can rule from the background as a lower non-council position anyway? The Ruler's buttons don't even mean much anyway. Much better to just have the ruler be a puppet of yours and control the entire council by putting friends in office in return for favors (or just for power itself). hehe...
Because sometimes, the fame is what you are after. And others, no puppet can fulfill your wishes as well as you could.
If you aim power in a mediocre kingdom, then sure, staying behind the scenes works fine. If you want your realm to totally kick the ass of all the other realms, that's usually not enough.
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Because sometimes, the fame is what you are after. And others, no puppet can fulfill your wishes as well as you could.
If you aim power in a mediocre kingdom, then sure, staying behind the scenes works fine. If you want your realm to totally kick the ass of all the other realms, that's usually not enough.
Probably true for the most part, but I've had some decent success with this in larger realms to. You just have to do it differently for puppets that are easy to control and those that think they are doing what they want. (hardest part is just not having access to ruler's channel, but if they send you all the ruler messages it works fine.)
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Probably true for the most part, but I've had some decent success with this in larger realms to. You just have to do it differently for puppets that are easy to control and those that think they are doing what they want. (hardest part is just not having access to ruler's channel, but if they send you all the ruler messages it works fine.)
I've often see them being very loyal, but *too lazy* to send it all. Depends on the people involved, the context, and your aspirations.
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...Paris...
Ugh. There's one the game is better without.
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Ugh. There's one the game is better without.
Haha,
say what you will of Paris, but he sure created a lot of intrigue and general happenings.
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Oh sure.
And as soon as people intrigued against him, in Dwilight, he quit the game.
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The funniest thing I have seen so far is a new character join a realm and immediately hop the border to loot allies multiple times. As well as throwing crazy but poetic insults at the leaders of the realm and fooling the approaching army by giving them the last minute slip, just to loot in the next region. But after all that, I still find how he gave out orders to the realm directly as if he were in charge the most hysterical part of the entire ordeal with this character.
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Some of Sundar's (Glaumring's) RPs have been pretty damn entertaining, just for their sheer audaciousness. Like sending a message to the entire Order of the Phoenix (an island-wide FEI order/guild, one of whose principles is to create standards of warfare and prohibit certain types of looting) about how he beats his manservant.
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I have sat here for 10 minutes and cannot even come close to top the stuff posted here. What happened to all the funny realms >:(
I supposed I just missed them. As the game has progressed, more rules have been laid out and whatnot. I think it would be funny to make a new small island that has an non-serious-medieval-atmosphere. 8)
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Heh, I'd join. Every so often I try to resurrect some of the goofiness in Arcaea, but a whole island would make it easier.
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I play sayuki in Arcaea, if you want a funny rp, I'm game.
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I think it would be funny to make a new small island that has an non-serious-medieval-atmosphere. 8)
The colonies? Outer Tilog?
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Back in between the 2nd and the 3d invasion when Julma Jaune, King of Thalmarkin, threatened Enweil with some royal spanking. Then going South to death duel Handkor and dying in a duel against Handkor's champion. Most epic conversations I ever saw on a ruler channel. :)
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I bet it contained a lot of "Suck my socks!".
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Stolen from another thread, original post by Indirik:
Sir Claude: "Hey, we need a duke in Ozrat. I'm the only one here in the city. And the entire Arcachonian army is between the city and everyone else in the realm. I know I'm only 17, and that I've only been in the realm for 6 days, but can I duke?"
Prime Minister Selene: "Meh, what the hell."
*poof*
Duke Claude: "w00t!"
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Stolen from another thread, original post by Indirik:
Sir Claude: "Hey, we need a duke in Ozrat. I'm the only one here in the city. And the entire Arcachonian army is between the city and everyone else in the realm. I know I'm only 17, and that I've only been in the realm for 6 days, but can I duke?"
Prime Minister Selene: "Meh, what the hell."
*poof*
Duke Claude: "w00t!"
Caused me to burst out into laughter once again :D
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Gaston's kinda like Don Quixote, with a mix of creepy stalker.
http://wiki.battlemaster.org/wiki/Gellander_Family/Gaston (http://wiki.battlemaster.org/wiki/Gellander_Family/Gaston)
Yes, I am tooting my own horn, but I've had at least 6 people say that it's been a great read. It's the tragic/comic tale of Gaston, a knight who falls for his scouts' description of the enemy duchess, and decides that she's being held captive against her will in her own keep, while being courted by the men of Greater Alenia.
Feel free to edit the page, or post the relevant battle/message templates on the talk page and I'll get around to it eventually.
latest line:
"Printheth of Thieveth, Ducheth Arya Calanar, I am Gathton Gellander, knight of Lanthath, and I have dreamed of meeting you for weekth."
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As for me, it would have to be the Guy Revan incident on EI, (as already mentioned) 7K in bonds, gone completely. Hilarious... to everyone except him. I believe I heard that he RP'ed it as walking around Ibladesh City ripping up the bonds and throwing them at peasants or something.
He was too gutted to do any RP's. I suggested that he RP that he got drunk for a week because he was so depressed. The funny thing is, even if he succeeded, he still would have been taxed blind in Ibladesh...
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Somehow getting this result when gathering items always cracks me up:
You wander around the townsland and...
1st hour: You find nothing of value.
2nd hour: You are disturbed by peasants and militia and can not gather anything.
3rd hour: You are disturbed by peasants and militia and can not gather anything.
4th hour: You are disturbed by peasants and militia and can not gather anything.
5th hour: You find nothing of value.
6th hour: You find nothing of value.
7th hour: You are disturbed by peasants and militia and can not gather anything.
8th hour: You find nothing.
9th hour: You are disturbed by peasants and militia and can not gather anything.
10th hour: You are disturbed by peasants and militia and can not gather anything.
11th hour: You find nothing of value.
12th hour: You find nothing.
If you've got the impression that there is little variety in stuff you can find, then you are most likely right. Visit this wiki page and add some ideas of your own - chances are that they will be added to the game.
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If you've got the impression that there is little variety in stuff you can find, then you are most likely right.
LOL
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Angry Peasants (1) score 6 hits on Wheling Elite (19).
Juan Dela Cruz, Viscount of Wheling has been wounded by Angry Peasants (1).
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Angry Peasants (1) score 6 hits on Wheling Elite (19).
Juan Dela Cruz, Viscount of Wheling has been wounded by Angry Peasants (1).
Perhaps it was only your pride?
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eh?
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You know... since you wouldn't expect an actual wound from so few peasants, maybe you just got some commoner spittle on you in the melee, and it wounded your pride.
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wasn't me who got wounded. I did skip a line..
Wheling Elite (19) take 1906 hits (6 in close combat, 1900 from archer fire), which cause 51 casualties, making the unit retreat from the battlefield.
so his unit basically got shot to bits (yay.. i did some of the shooting) and then some peasant poked a finger at him or something and he got wounded.
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Some of Sundar's (Glaumring's) RPs have been pretty damn entertaining, just for their sheer audaciousness. Like sending a message to the entire Order of the Phoenix (an island-wide FEI order/guild, one of whose principles is to create standards of warfare and prohibit certain types of looting) about how he beats his manservant.
;D
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When 9 of my men fled with 248 gold. They must be the richest soldiers in Dwilight by now...
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Fine issued (12 hours, 7 minutes ago)
Muunegan Baatarsaikhan, Law Father of Darka, Baron of Xutltec, Marshal of the Foxhound has put a penalty of 50 gold on Nadina Vasata (Dame of Ixzal) for this reason:
As requested by her marshal, Dame Nadina is fined 50 gold for following orders too closely and promptly for his consideration.I am sure that his army will take a long, thoughtful pause to consider his orders in the future.
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I lol'd. ;D
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Made me cry :(
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If you'd been there, you would have lol'd.
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Could someone summarize what happened that led to this?
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In short: The Marshal gave an order for the army to move from Region A to B with a preset a follow-on move to C, and for everyone in C to misdirect to somewhere else. For whatever reason, Nadina was already in B, so just moved to C right away. She arrived a half-day ahead of the rest of the army to find that she was the only Darkan unit there, and was wiped out by the CE army waiting there. The Marshal asked the judge to fine Nadina for suiciding her unit. Muunegan, the judge, slapped down the fine with his usual humorous style.
See, the really funny part about this is that it turns out the Marshal (Herulcamo) actually made a mistake in the orders. Paraphrasing here, but what he said was:
Everyone in region A move to region B with a preset continue-on to region C, while everyone in region C misdirects
What he meant was:
Everyone in region A move to region B with a preset continue-on to region C, while everyone in region B misdirects this turn and follows along next turn to region C
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Sheesh, does that Marshal frequently give out orders 3 turns ahead of time? In my experience, that's not always a great thing to do as it can over complicate things and leads to people running ahead of the pack when comes to find out you may need to take it a little slower in order to wait for some people.
My philosophy with orders in order to get the best response and movement has always been the simpler the better. "Move to Region A" then the next turn "Move to Region B" etc.
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That's why Darka is best. 8)
Only reason I left was to do some freelance mercenary work in Beluaterra.
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That's why Darka is best. 8)
Yep, giving CE archers target practice, one unit at a time...
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There would be more for them to hoot and holler about if so many of them hadn't forgotten to move out themselves, and gotten plastered by the Darka/Eston force that followed a half day later.
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Meh, I never liked what Darka was doing. Its like prostitution at a realm level.
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Meh, I never liked what Darka was doing. Its like prostitution at a realm level.
When everyone's doing it, it's more like an orgy.
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Letter from Fred Artemesia (59 minutes ago)
Message sent to everyone in your realm (55 recipients)
Er, I was wondering about an oath. I got a random offer without any message, and a random withdrawal shortly afterward. That only confused me. All I wanted was a place to set up a fried chicken restaurant, but I guess it's my fault I didn't make that clear.
So, I'm here to set up a fried chicken restaurant where the chicken will all come from enemy lands because there is no greater insult to a defeated foe than to have him or her or it see their chickens become fried deeply in the butter and eaten hungrily with great zest. Am I right, y'all?
Ok, and furthermore, that means I'll have to go get an oath with someone. Preferably someone who's ok with me having a fried chicken restaurant at my estate, and who doesn't mind me going off with the army that goes fighting in foreign lands so I can go capture their chickens and bring them back to fry and eat.
Now that y'all know my deal, any chance I can go fight some dudes with dudes of my own and get some chickens to fry?
Fred Artemesia (Noble)
It's a good thing this isn't on Dwilight...
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obviously never heard of squatting rights....
no oath, you just need to squat in a place and hope no one notices. (is there a message when someone move in? no idea).. restaurant might be a bit noticeable though.
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Battle in Wirkfyr (just in)
(rogue), Lukon, Outer Tilog vs. Giblot
Estimated strengths: 1250 men vs. 70 men
The Army of the Black Ravens (Lukon), sponsored by Raven Leather, Duchess of Portion, were led into battle by Marshal Thanatos Reaver.
Joline Rasthaven (Dame of Diverdur) is spotted wearing the Dragon-Scale Breastplate of the Kings.
Attacker Victory!
Peasant Revolt (just in)
The people in Wirkfyr are revolting!
The revolting people have done something utterly unbelievable - kicked out the local government and declared independence! These stinking peasants think they can rule themselves! Anarchy and heresy!
Region Revolts (just in)
The people of Lukon have revolted and declared independence from Lukon!
A fair trade--a rural for a city, and the city hasn't even been attacked in at least 4 years.
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A fair trade--a rural for a city, and the city hasn't even been attacked in at least 4 years.
I call this inefficient city duke... ::)
Funniest moment is when you lose a war not because of your military leaders half smart strategy but because of lack of nobles. Today our Ruler is dead, his soul given up to the religion spirits, paused in fact his 2 characters :P We might as well surrender to the enemy realm standing outside our war although we have almost even CS, we have less noble than them :(
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Total CS is a pretty crude measure. If you're smashing the enemy into tiny pieces on the battlefield, you can afford to get by with barely any militia. If you're getting smashed into tiny pieces you need to get your Dukes dropping 7k militia so the other side cant overrun your cities. A realm that can put 20k CS mobile in the field, with 5k CS militia at home is going to beat the realm with 10k CS mobile and 15k CS militia everytime.
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Let's not get into discussions about what is the best way to win a war and such in this topic. If you want to do that, find the proper topic or make your own. This is purely for funny moments. If I see a discussion like that start to occur, I'll ask a moderator to please split those posts to a seperate thread. No need to completely squash a good debate, after all.
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Orders from Dolgan Tyr-Sog (15 hours, 21 minutes ago)
Message sent to all members of the Eagles of Hope (11 recipients)
Eagles,
New guidelines from the General. No more raping. We do not want to give Fronen a new generation of good warriors.
With hope,
Dolgan Tyr-Sog
Vice-Marshal of the Eagles of Hope
After this our general confessed his chest hurt of laughter. Sadly he survived......Need more fun to assasinate him and take his place
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hilarious
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Just read this in Pian en Luries(on Dwilight), it was in response to someone indicating a noble was worse than an educated fruit or some similar insult, and one of the parties saying that no such thing existed:
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Letter from Ramiel Avis (23 minutes ago)
Message sent to everyone in "Halls of Luria" (30 recipients)
Commander Kamron,
I, personally have never met an educated fruit, however I have met someone who swears by his mother's grave that he has!
Some years ago my acquaintance called Sir Bob de Ington was travelling through a Port City during the Night, trying to find out when the next ship leaving was, he came accross three armed vagabonds trying accost an elderly man who was carrying scrolls and certain artifacts. Now Sir Bob is of the disposition that no crime should ever be permitted in the sight of a Noble else the Noble condones it and becomes part of the crime, so he rushed to the elderly man's defence and injured all three men and driving them off.
Now the old man turns to Sir Bob and says "Thank You Sir Bob, for your kind and just heart and actions I shall give you this scroll here that details the island of Ananas Comosus. A rich and good island with a population that has to be seen and heard to be believed. The scroll will also tell you how to get there." And Sir Bob took the scroll and looked at it before looking back up and seeing the old man having disappeared.
Now something you must know about Sir Bob is that he one of those types that cannot help himself but to go looking for riches, treasure and new lands - I think he had some Madinian blood in him, maybe some Fissoan, but I digress - and so he chartered a ship to sail to the Island of Ananas Comosus with his bodyguard.
The sea trip was rather uneventful.
When he landed on the Island of Ananas Comosus, it was dusk and he had the landing party prepare camp whilst he took three of his best bodyguards and explored inland somewhat.
After an hour or so, he spotted what he thought was a village of a strange people. However since it was now quite dark he turned back to camp.
The following morning he went again and went into the village. The, what he at first assumed was people, were dressed in a sort of spikey brown-green-yellowish robe thing - the way he said it made it sound more like a cross between scales and spikes, and a green headress of leaves.
He met someone who called himself 'King Apple of Pine' and got talking, as one does when meeting a new Royal. After a few nights discussing themselves, their philosophy and their theology, King Apple gave Sir Bob a yellow circular holey piece of fruit and bid him taste it. Sir Bob did so and said it was a bit tangy, very sharp but otherwise very nice. It was after this that King Apple said it was his now deceased wife who had gone off with another man. Sir Bob then wondered "But human flesh does not taste thus surely?",/i> And it was then that King Apple laughed a hearty laugh and said "Human? we are Ananas Comosus, surely you must realise this by now?" And then Sir Bob really looked properly and say that the clothing were not actually clothing, it was their skin.
"But how is this possible?" he cried. "We do not know, it is the will of the great Sun and the great rain from which we get all our needs" came the reply. And for a week more Sir Bob and King Apple debated everything and anything.
Now comes the tragic news, Sir Bob's guards had also been allowed to taste the Ananas Comosus 'people' and they liked it. The Night before they were to sail home, they went and butchered every Ananas Comosusian so that they could eat them and sell the remainders once they got back to civilization. Sir Bob was heartbroken. He told me of how King Apple of Pine was one of the most educated people he had ever met and that he had said he would come back with some scholars so that they could talk. However it was never to be.
And this is true, so he swears on his mother's grave. Though one of the Priests of Zisa came and told me he had been partaking of their dragonweed earlier... however in my mind their is no doubt that Sir Bob thought it was all true, for he had tried to get me to loan him some money so that he could sail back and see if any others lived, for they had a unique philosophy and theology, a point being they believed that the Sun fed them directly with the Rain and that when they were eaten, they never truly died as they would simply be reborn many times over after they were eaten.
I have not seen Sir Bob in many years though I do sometimes get a letter from him...
Ramiel Avis
Lurian Lord of Halls of Luria, Marquis of Askileon Purlieus, Marshal of the Aegis of Luria
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^The entire situation that was posted was honestly the dumbest thing I've ever seen.
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^The entire situation that was posted was honestly the dumbest thing I've ever seen.
Yeah. I loved it :)
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What goes on in Arcaea, should probably stay in Arcaea...
Letter from Fred Artemesia (1 day, 20 hours ago)
Message sent to everyone in your realm (72 recipients)
I like cats.
Fred Artemesia (Knight of Tapaliez)
Letter from Thain Himoura (1 day, 20 hours ago)
Message sent to everyone in your realm (72 recipients)
Congratulations, will you attempt to fry them next?
Sir Thain Himoura (Knight of Talex)
Letter from Fred Artemesia (1 day, 19 hours ago)
Message sent to everyone in your realm (72 recipients)
Wow it's like this guy has psychic powers of ESPN.
Fred Artemesia (Knight of Tapaliez)
Letter from Thain Himoura (1 day, 18 hours ago)
Message sent to everyone in your realm (72 recipients)
Of what?
Sir Thain Himoura (Knight of Talex)
Letter from Alistair Jeckyl (1 day, 18 hours ago)
Message sent to everyone in your realm (72 recipients)
I believe Fred just called you a witch.
Sir Alistair Jeckyl
Baron of Saex
Letter from Sayuki Kuriga (1 day, 18 hours ago)
Message sent to everyone in your realm (72 recipients)
My captain spoke of this "ESPN". It is some peasant superstition, in which a group of old peasant "sports players", whatever that means, spread news and make predictions of the "sport" they previously played through some sort of magic. It is, of course, ludicrous and merely a false peasant belief. I believe Sir Fred is making jest of this superstitious ridiculousness, in regards to you predicting what he will do, Sir Thain.
Sir Sayuki Kuriga (Knight of Niel)
Letter from Gaston Gellander (1 day, 17 hours ago)
Message sent to everyone in your realm (72 recipients)
The Exciting Sport Peasant Newspaper is a newspaper in the Colonies, devoted to the sport of 'headball', which is played with the heads of peasants. I'm not sure what that has to do with cats, unless they've decided to start playing with smaller heads.
Gaston Gellander
Baron of Hupar
Letter from Breonna Blakeshadow (1 day, 17 hours ago)
Message sent to everyone in your realm (72 recipients)
I've heard of wizards having such magical portals that they can activate after much mental and physical stress, to serve such a purpose. So the simple peasants have the idea they could do with such ease? Unbelievable. Unless they stole a Wizards scroll, then I imagine all the caster would need to do is summon the divination abilities.
It would be simple enough to predict of our own mind; on what one single person will do if we compile the past information, so such a spell would be pointless.
Unless it's worth is earned though predicting massive events such as parts of the continent drifting off to sea or something as drastic as if/when gods will walk the lands.
Idle chatting about something as menial as this is just a waste of time.
If your going to speak about magic, let it be of daimon ousting and unlife discast.
In Honour and Might,
Breonna Blakeshadow
Ambassador of Arcaea
Letter from Fred Artemesia (1 day, 17 hours ago)
Message sent to everyone in your realm (72 recipients)
One doesn't need magic to play sports. One only needs courage and a cause without a rebel.
And there are no such things as daimons. Seriously, I've been to Beluaterra too, where they claim there are diamons. Never seen them. Anyone here have solid evidence that they exist? And I don't mean talking about how you saw them with your own eyes. I can claim that I once saw a fifty foot tall flying chicken that spoke perfect human language and knew how to do martial arts and breathed fire, but would you believe me?
No, you wouldn't. That's also why I really doubt that these "daimons" that people say are wrapped around in fire and don't die permanently exist. Really, who has heard of something that doesn't die? Everything dies. The undead are technically dead too, just moving around like a puppet with strings. But we don't call a puppet alive.
Anyway, ESPN stands for "Exceptionally Spot-on Predictions, Nate". I don't know who Nate is. It's just part of the acronym, deal with it.
Fred Artemesia (Knight of Tapaliez)
We shall skip ahead a short time later...
Letter from Thain Himoura (1 day, 14 hours ago)
Message sent to everyone in your realm (72 recipients)
In addition he is doing something other than stating that he likes felines, or talking about his recent poultry based culinary disaster.
Sir Thain Himoura (Knight of Talex)
Letter from Breonna Blakeshadow (1 day, 11 hours ago)
Message sent to everyone in your realm (72 recipients)
Yes, I agree. He is improving, And I couldn't help But to notice the improvement starts after my involvement. However there is no way I'm taking credit in any of these matters, Or in anything invoking his perversions.
And I for one am not so to declare it was my involvement that changed anything. But I do encourage ignorance to this subject.
In Honour and Might,
Breonna Blakeshadow
Ambassador of Arcaea
Letter from Fred Artemesia (1 day, 10 hours ago)
Message sent to everyone in your realm (72 recipients)
That's because my culinary passions have awakened. If these "daimons" exist, then I shall fry them too and call it "Hell's Kitchen Fury"!!!
Fred Artemesia (Knight of Tapaliez)
Roleplay from Fred Artemesia (1 day, 9 hours ago)
Message sent to everyone in your realm (72 recipients)
Fred decides at that time that he should bare the hardships of falling from a tower and murdering the mother of his children in front of a goddess. He then jumps out a tower and survives by blocking an axe with a teacup, laughing maniacally all the way to the north pole.
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That last Fred roleplay is a reference to some other roleplay that was badly done, anyone have a link to that?
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Letter from Mendicant Anhangar (just in)
Message sent to everyone in your realm (35 recipients)
"Gornak Gellander, Fiduciary of D'Hara, Marquis of Raviel, a trader has taken up your offer and bought 40 bushels of food in Candiels for 102 gold. With that, your offer has been completed."
Strange, it would appear that my warehouses insisted on quite a strong price, and the D'Haran Fiduciary accepted it.
Mendicant Anhangar
High Sovereign of Aurvandil, Duke of Candiels
Those are some expensive pork chops! ;D
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I'll admit to being a little impatient on that...
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That last Fred roleplay is a reference to some other roleplay that was badly done, anyone have a link to that?
The one about innuendo and the OOC miscommunication fail?
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The one about innuendo and the OOC miscommunication fail?
no, the 'teacup' comment. Wasn't there some absurd roleplay about blocking a swordswing with a teacup, a year or more ago?
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Oh that. In parody of something I heard a Himoura did.
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Ah, Far East Island, where "things make sense", and nobles "do things for a reason".
Too bad that reason is usually "because he's bat-!@#$ crazy".
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When the ruler of one of the largest realms names himself after a flaming bird that commits suicide via self-immolation to be reborn as a naked baby version of itself, then one wonders...
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When the ruler of one of the largest realms names himself after a flaming bird that commits suicide via self-immolation to be reborn as a naked baby version of itself, then one wonders...
You know what, I just worked out what tastes better then fried chicken.
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That'll be Fred's campaign platform in case he ever lives long enough to try to become the next king.
"The last king was a phoenix, and phoenixes fry themselves. Since I fry chickens, that means I am logically the crown prince. Phoenix is a bird, and chicken is a bird. Therefore my logic is supreme!"
Y'all know you'd get a kick out of that if only for the pure bat!@#$ insanity.
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That'll be Fred's campaign platform in case he ever lives long enough to try to become the next king.
"The last king was a phoenix, and phoenixes fry themselves. Since I fry chickens, that means I am logically the crown prince. Phoenix is a bird, and chicken is a bird. Therefore my logic is supreme!"
Y'all know you'd get a kick out of that if only for the pure bat!@#$ insanity.
Throw in something about comparative weights and you have unassailable logic right there.
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Southern logic wins again ya'll!
Anyways,
The general debauchery in BoM is pretty hilarious. Lots of killing things with axes and getting drunk on mead in the process.
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The general debauchery in BoM is pretty hilarious. Lots of killing things with axes and getting drunk on mead in the process.
Sounds like nothing ever changes :P Goats and wenches?
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Sounds like nothing ever changes :P Goats and wenches?
He forgot the horse eating. Nothing says victory quite like a Viking army dining on the enemy cavalry.
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Sounds like nothing ever changes :P Goats and wenches?
The Makarians marry their food, eat their horses, and ride their womenfolk into battle.
Which is why Makarian cavalry is feared throughout Atamara. After you kill the rider, you still have an angry wench to deal with.
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Ah, Far East Island, where "things make sense", and nobles "do things for a reason".
Too bad that reason is usually "because he's bat-!@#$ crazy".
This is really true. Speaking as someone who knows lots of "why"s...This is the answer far more often than you might actually guess. Jenred firmly believes (not thinks, or has suspicions, but is completely convinced) that there is a Ruler's Curse that actually makes powerful people on the Far East Island go insane. He has half a dozen nobles actually scattered about the place under orders to take him down when he succumbs, and he puts it down to divine protection that he hasn't yet.
Of course, he's silly, because the correct answer is that he was bat!@#$ crazy then became powerful.
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The Makarians marry their food, eat their horses, and ride their womenfolk into battle.
Which is why Makarian cavalry is feared throughout Atamara. After you kill the rider, you still have an angry wench to deal with.
Dang, talk about an expiry date on your marriage...
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Dang, talk about an expiry date on your marriage...
Yeah, the special forces with the charge attack? That's actually the Viking women, hurling their husbands at the enemy line.
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Thanks to my current time off, I started reading the forums again. It's probably a terrible idea, but I thought I'd chip in a couple since I'm working on year... 7? of BM now. ... ... ... Is there some kind of counseling for this?
Anyway. I think my favorite might be a few years back. Tom and the Titans were angry about something, and so they started cracking down on the different continents, ranging from no Titan interference, all the way to Atamara, which was a single complaint could lightning bolt an entire community. And then nothing happened. Everything was just business as usual, and no one even said anything about it. It was weird, but funny. And so I learned that Atamara just doesn't care.
Or that time Ziode, Gul'Dan, and Conan argued in a complete circle for 3 hours. ... Never again.
I remember watching a Soliferum noble buy a region (costs a couple thousand family gold) only to have it revolt from their control 2 days later.
Cius/Night Hawk "courted" Keiichi Hyral for a few months, which was really just him helping her sneak out so they could get hammered at a bar.
Atamara also had - I can't remember his name - the excessively flamboyant artist! Anyone remember him? Always walking around with his naked menservants and doing artwork (flag and emblem designs) for the players? I miss some of the old days...
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Dafayao Vashmere (http://wiki.battlemaster.org/wiki/Vashmere_Family/Dafayo)?
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Yes!! Is he still playing? I haven't done much on Atamara in a while :P I think Dafayo was a hilarious shock character at first, but he grows on you.
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He hasn't played for a long time. He popped back in once or twice, then disappeared for good quite some time ago.
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That's a shame. I also remembered he had a girl tattooed entirely green that played on FEI for a while.
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Yeah, the whole Vashmere "family" quite a source of fun and conflicts at least in Atamara. I believe Dafayo was mostly active around Eston, that university stuff or something. Good times.
Allthough I think Vatticus was one of the most entertaining characters. At the beginning he simply went from realm to realm, pissing people up trying to get every realm to ban him. Eventually he came to Darka and lurked in the countryside hunting monsters as "Dog of Darka".
Well played.
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Letter from Gwrtheyrnion Vertigern (7 minutes ago)
Message sent to everyone in your realm (45 recipients)
Charlotte Grancourt, Queen of Summerdale, Duchess of Nifelheim, Margravine of Nifelheim, Marshal of the Dalian Crusade is spotted wearing the Doomed Crown.
Hilarious.
Gwrtheyrnion Vertigern (Lord)
Cracked me up for once
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Peasant Revolt (43 minutes ago)
The people in Commonyr are revolting! Production is dropping 1 points. 280 men of the local militia get lynched by angry mobs. Unit Peasant Militia eradicated. Unit Peasant Militia eradicated. Unit Peasant Militia eradicated. Unit Peasant Militia eradicated. Unit Peasant Militia eradicated. Unit Peasant Militia eradicated. Unit Peasant Militia eradicated. Unit Peasant Militia eradicated. Unit Peasant Militia eradicated. Unit Peasant Militia eradicated. Unit Peasant Militia eradicated.
It makes me sad that they're fixing that.
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That's always good for a few lols. :P
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"Take that you vile oppressors who were trying to defend us!"
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Once a upon a time there was a barbarian bard called Thruk. His play style was really something.
You can find out some of his songs in here.
http://wiki.battlemaster.org/wiki/Cagilan_Empire/Literature_of_Entertainment (http://wiki.battlemaster.org/wiki/Cagilan_Empire/Literature_of_Entertainment)
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I've decided that my character in Outer Tilog hears OOC messages as voices in his head.
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I've decided that my character in Outer Tilog hears OOC messages as voices in his head.
Is it the only thing he hears as voice in his head? That's tame for Outer Tilog.
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Is it the only thing he hears as voice in his head? That's tame for Outer Tilog.
;D
scnr
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The funniest moment i recall, because there are been many, was when the Automatic Allegiance Fix entered in effect, it kicked every noble who was unaligned, including the rulers and council.
As far i remember only Sordnaz and Andrew remained in power that time (Dictatorship privileges) those kicked had to re-join their realms and of course, wait couple of days because new nobles couldn't be appointed to things.
Such good times!
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And during which some realms lost tens of thousands of bonds... :(
Not funny.
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The funniest times I had was with my old account playing Aeneas in Taselak. There was always something going on there with I think Sacha's char always running around naked to battle and Aeneas basically being a complete berserk barbarian idiot and charging/attacking without orders (sometimes screwing up short-treaties with Toren) etc and he kept being appointed to lordly positions. Haha what a laugh I had back then for sure...
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Is it the only thing he hears as voice in his head? That's tame for Outer Tilog.
Well I've only just started I might RP out some of the other voices but first he needs to collect enough skulls for the skull throne.
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Well I've only just started I might RP out some of the other voices but first he needs to collect enough skulls for the skull throne.
Please note that the skull throne only counts if you have PC skulls in it. And, I would probably add noble skulls. Advies are too easy.
And if you want a really good one, exclude infiltrators too.
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Oooo, did I inherit the skull throne, too?
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Oooo, did I inherit the skull throne, too?
Only temporarily. You can keep the rest of the palace, but Jenred is very, very attached to the thrones and was always planning on moving them to Talex. After all, half the skulls are Edara's anyway.
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Hmm. I suppose Velax's first skull can be Shinya's...now if I can just get ahold of a McGahee's.
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Funniest Moment: When the April fool joke was taken seriously IG and everyone reacted like lets forget our personal differences and show these non-humans who is the boss.
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I don't see how that was funny. In Game, it happened. Why would it not be taken seriously?
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I don't see how that was funny. In Game, it happened. Why would it not be taken seriously?
Have to agree here, it wasn't that funny...
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It was totally funny.
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Not... really. Even if I had known it was meant as a joke... it's just not very well done.
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What I think is funny, and disappointing, is how everyone instantly gets all lovey-dovey with their biggest enemies. "Think of the children!"
*gag*
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It might have already been said, but this will always be the moment that made me laugh the most:
http://wiki.battlemaster.org/wiki/Quotes#Famous_Last_Words
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It might have already been said, but this will always be the moment that made me laugh the most:
http://wiki.battlemaster.org/wiki/Quotes#Famous_Last_Words
Quite a few good quotes on there.
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What I think is funny, and disappointing, is how everyone instantly gets all lovey-dovey with their biggest enemies. "Think of the children!"
*gag*
Mostly due to the Blight. You can't rule the world if its already been destroyed! ;D
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I don't see how that was funny. In Game, it happened. Why would it not be taken seriously?
It was funny because most of people did not take it as a joke. When you wanna fool someone, you always want your victim to take it as real, don't you?
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It was funny because most of people did not take it as a joke. When you wanna fool someone, you always want your victim to take it as real, don't you?
That only applies if it's something that the person would think would never happen, like the lottery. Many players were either expecting this to happen (because of roleplays by the NPC's on Beluaterra) or were hoping it would never happen (because they don't want to play Beluaterra, they want to play battlemaster as it is meant to be, player vs player).
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That only applies if it's something that the person would think would never happen, like the lottery. Many players were either expecting this to happen (because of roleplays by the NPC's on Beluaterra) or were hoping it would never happen (because they don't want to play Beluaterra, they want to play battlemaster as it is meant to be, player vs player).
Or, most importantly, with things that they can just dismiss as a prank once it is over and revealed. Dismissing what happened as a prank is not very SMA at all, however.
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Hrok's new habit of sending messengers back sans one leg is proving to be good for some lulz. I think he also mounts them over the gatehouse into Poryatown.
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Hrok's new habit of sending messengers back sans one leg is proving to be good for some lulz. I think he also mounts them over the gatehouse into Poryatown.
How is that possible? Brom isn't sending him messages anymore...
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Or, most importantly, with things that they can just dismiss as a prank once it is over and revealed. Dismissing what happened as a prank is not very SMA at all, however.
April Fools actually originated from a prank played on a french king, so yes, pranks are absolutely SMA.
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Small pranks? Sure. Daimon invasions (and certain things DID seem awfully authentic from an IC viewpoint)...
People acted IC. Those who didn't were, frankly, metagaming and showing themselves to be poor RPers.
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April Fools actually originated from a prank played on a french king, so yes, pranks are absolutely SMA.
Hey, I'm not saying I hated the prank. I just didn't find it funny.
OOC, it was fairly obvious it was a prank, so I don't think it really fooled anyone (other than maybe a few newbs). IC, though... Are you saying the daimons pranked us? A noble pranking another can be SMA, sure, but the daimons playing "peek-a-boo" with portals on us, that's just silly.
What I was saying is that acting as if the portals hadn't poped up would not be SMA, especially after all the people that reacted did so. My character interpreted the events as the barrier between worlds having been weakened on that day, perhaps because of the portal stones adventurers used, but that (thankfully) the barriers resisted and regained their strength when the day ended.
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My character interpreted it as peasant exaggerations. After all, the nobles on the scene in the mountains reported nothing unusual. It was fairly obviously some kind of hoax.
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My character interpreted it as peasant exaggerations. After all, the nobles on the scene in the mountains reported nothing unusual. It was fairly obviously some kind of hoax.
Those of us in and around Paisly DID see unusual stuff.
OOC, I know both events are unrelated. But IC, to make such a claim is absurd.
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Your situation in Paisly was different. From 1,000 miles away, we considered you all to be delusional.
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The prankster can only hope that what he does is funny. It is up to others to decide whether it is or not. And I just found the prank in poor taste considering what was going on in Beluaterra.
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Your situation in Paisly was different. From 1,000 miles away, we considered you all to be delusional.
A bunch of nobles confirm the presence of strange events, amongst them at least 1 royal, and then people from all over the continents report the presence of daimon portals.
And you just shrug it all off as peasant exaggerations? Out of the blues, hundreds of thousands of peasants collectively decided to exaggerate reports of what they were seeing? Not to mention all the nobles stating the existence of these things (for which you can't know where they got the info from).
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A bunch of nobles confirm the presence of strange events, amongst them at least 1 royal, and then people from all over the continents report the presence of daimon portals.
And you just shrug it all off as peasant exaggerations? Out of the blues, hundreds of thousands of peasants collectively decided to exaggerate reports of what they were seeing? Not to mention all the nobles stating the existence of these things (for which you can't know where they got the info from).
They were just weather balloons.
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They were just weather balloons.
In all seriousness, for perspective, replacing "daimon portals" with UFOs is not a bad idea. The people directly involved swear up and down about what they saw, and seventy percent (or whatever the local numbers are) of everybody else thinks those people are anthing from severely mistaken to plain crazy.
Now take atmospheric anomoly/misidentified aircraft/skydivers-with-flares and replace with strange clouds/wrath of god(s)/jumpy peasants, then mix with Rumour Mill and spread it across thousands of miles. Some people think it was real, some people believe those people, some people want to purify those people with fire, and others still think it was all just a bunch of nonsense that never amounted to anything because, hey, where are the hordes? Why does there need to be one "correct" way to respond IG? ???
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We had nobles check on the "daimon portal" in our backyard. Nothing there. Therefore: people were hallucinating.
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Are you saying the daimons pranked us? A noble pranking another can be SMA, sure, but the daimons playing "peek-a-boo" with portals on us, that's just silly.
Take it as daimons misdirecting which we took as beginning of an invasion.
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Frankly, you're all too stuffed-up.
April Fools pranks are a BM tradition. Pranks work best when the one pranked takes a moment to realize that it's a prank, i.e. it has to seem real for a while. Most, but not all, of the past pranks were OOC. It was high time to play an IC prank (again), because people were expecting the OOC ones. Just like the year where I played the prank a few days later via back-referencing.
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To be honest I still don't get how so many people fell for it... again... after all these years...
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To be honest I still don't get how so many people fell for it... again... after all these years...
Because the prank could be that it wasn't a prank. That it was actually real. That would be the prank. Or at least that's how I followed the reasoning.
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Frankly, you're all too stuffed-up.
April Fools pranks are a BM tradition. Pranks work best when the one pranked takes a moment to realize that it's a prank, i.e. it has to seem real for a while. Most, but not all, of the past pranks were OOC. It was high time to play an IC prank (again), because people were expecting the OOC ones. Just like the year where I played the prank a few days later via back-referencing.
Tom, I personally had no problem with the "prank" itself. My issue is with people thinking our characters acting, you know, in character is stupid/funny/laughable.
OOC? Yeah, I know it's a prank. IC? Uh... Firey portals, declarations of war, and messages from daimons. Yeah, I'm going to act like there's an incoming invasion.
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To be honest I still don't get how so many people fell for it... again... after all these years...
Tom, I personally had no problem with the "prank" itself. My issue is with people thinking our characters acting, you know, in character is stupid/funny/laughable.
OOC? Yeah, I know it's a prank. IC? Uh... Firey portals, declarations of war, and messages from daimons. Yeah, I'm going to act like there's an incoming invasion.
This.
I think that you overestimate the number of people that were fooled, Sacha. OOC, I knew it was fake. IC, though, I saw no justification for my characters to ignore what they were getting, as some wild conspiracy of the peasants just doesn't fly with me. I know of a lot of people who reacted IC even if they knew OOC that it was fake.
As far as all of my characters are concerned, the portals were real. And they were all relieved to see them disappear a day later, thanking the gods for fixing the barriers between the worlds.
I'm not in any way mad about this prank, I just fail to find it funny. It was pretty obvious and in no way posed a contrast with what was going on or how the game typically is (it WAS announced that the invasions could spread elsewhere if BT fell not much earlier, and BT was and still is doing pretty bad).
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Let's stick to the funny things in this thread, as opposed to reviewing how funny they actually are? ::)
I just made a joke about the Daimon lands being the Netherlands :)
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...no grass then.. all that blight
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To be honest I still don't get how so many people fell for it... again... after all these years...
I fell for it because it was something i wished, and some what was expecting.
Anyways i am not of those who see the calendar every morning, i remember the date when there is a event (currently) happening, "i see ohh right is that day on the year.." etc.
Let's stick to the funny things in this thread, as opposed to reviewing how funny they actually are? ::)
Right!
Another funny moment i had , also during the process of the "New allegiance System" our king Kronos tried to buy the city of Sullenport which was Rogue, then he became a duke of...you know... Rogue and left the realm.
I recall he had to join back, and we had to take over the city. We were RPGing about the "Return Of The King" and about "One Doesn't Simply Steep Into Sullenport" etc.
Such funny moments.
Peace!
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My first break from Dwilight hardcore RP, and I'm loving it. I'm really enjoying being a Nord Berserker in Hammersett @ Atamara, very fun folks!
"My fellow Heroes and Outlaws,
I have decided to flee the atrocities so zealously heaped upon me by the citizens of Giask. By atrocities, I mean unattractive raucous whores and what must be the worst bean curry I've ever eaten. As such, I have boarded a ship from Giask to Saffalore, where I shall make my fortune as a sexual aide for the unfortunate wives and daughters of Terran Lords. Should I be run out of country by angry men in shiny armor wielding very dangerous-looking sharp objects with menacing scowls, I've arranged for a friend in Astrom to provide me a position in a local church. Apparently the preacher will pay me to pretend to be crippled, as long as I start walking and do a strange dance-like ritual on his command! Heh, what a fool.
Fare thee well, fellow sowers of discord, confusion, and illegitimate children everywhere. Seriously, I've lost count.
Maximilian Aurea,
Naked Manservant of the East"
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lol which character is that one? commoner?
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When part of the army of Luria Nova arrived in Poryatown (capital of federated Solaria) and one of Solaria's nobles went into a panic about the murderous Novans coming to take their capital while it was he who had set his unit to evasive and freaked out over the "No Battle in Poryatown" report. ;D
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When part of the army of Luria Nova arrived in Poryatown (capital of federated Solaria) and one of Solaria's nobles went into a panic about the murderous Novans coming to take their capital while it was he who had set his unit to evasive and freaked out over the "No Battle in Poryatown" report. ;D
Having a somewhat personal stake at the matter, I must admit the incident itself and the necessary follow-up has been quite entertaining. I confess I had no idea that the game would generate a report of "combat evaded" when nobody has even tried to make combat happen. I did not know that evasive settings will always trigger that message whenever there are troops present from another realm, even federated or allied. Funny feature.
It's like one of them ladies playing hard to get and complaining for all then unwanted attention when in fact nobody is even bothering to look at her.
Regardless, it plays out nicely as inexperience of a young character standing outside of the walls of the capital and seeing an army larger than he has ever seen approaching. Then he tries to play the hero of the day and ends up looking very foolish indeed. ;D
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lol which character is that one? commoner?
LOL, yes, he was a commoner. Got arrested for that letter, actually. The travel system still has its kinks, as I don't understand how I could be arrested halfway through an ocean voyage from the east to western continents. :P It appears that until you reach your destination, certain commands treat you as if you're in the origin while other commands behave as if you've already arrived.
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LOL, yes, he was a commoner. Got arrested for that letter, actually. The travel system still has its kinks, as I don't understand how I could be arrested halfway through an ocean voyage from the east to western continents. :P It appears that until you reach your destination, certain commands treat you as if you're in the origin while other commands behave as if you've already arrived.
While you are traveling, you will see on your status bar (bottom center of the screen) which region you are in. You're either in the starting region, or the destination, and the game will treat it as such. On the first part of your journey you can visit guildhouses (one of the few things you can do while traveling) in the origin, and on the second half of your journey you can do the same with guildhouses in the destination region.
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Well, the problem here is that arresting adventurers has never been updated to account for the fact that it is now possible for adventurers to travel non-instantaneously.
I will try and remember to do this when I Doctrinify arresting adventurers.
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Letter from Livia De La Coeur (2 hours, 13 minutes ago)
Message sent to all members of the Royal Army of Darka (32 recipients)
My Lord,
I hope sincerely we are not to be hired out as common sell-swords. I find the suggestion that we could be treated as a mercenary force by another kingdom both humiliating and demeaning. I would rather they felt the bite of my steel than bought my targets with cowards gold.
With best regards,
Livia De La Coeur (Dame of Azzal)
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Letter from Livia De La Coeur (2 hours, 13 minutes ago)
Message sent to all members of the Royal Army of Darka (32 recipients)
My Lord,
I hope sincerely we are not to be hired out as common sell-swords. I find the suggestion that we could be treated as a mercenary force by another kingdom both humiliating and demeaning. I would rather they felt the bite of my steel than bought my targets with cowards gold.
With best regards,
Livia De La Coeur (Dame of Azzal)
Doubt her request will be even considered.
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Doubt her request will be even considered.
It's just funny that she didn't know that Darka is a mercenary realm.
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It's just funny that she didn't know that Darka is a mercenary realm.
YES!!!
I love when my character prompts moments like this.
How did she not know that? I'd thought that was like all of their bulletins or something? How they love to fight and only to fight. If Darka is smart they decide to switch back to being mercenaries before this war ends to protect themselves. Its not like they're gonna win as part of the NA.
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Wow, a noble on the Darkan Royal Army does not know she is in a mercenary realm. What has Darka come to... :(
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Meh, we haven't had fought under a real contract in years. I can't remember the last one.
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Letter from Livia De La Coeur (2 hours, 13 minutes ago)
Message sent to all members of the Royal Army of Darka (32 recipients)
My Lord,
I hope sincerely we are not to be hired out as common sell-swords. I find the suggestion that we could be treated as a mercenary force by another kingdom both humiliating and demeaning. I would rather they felt the bite of my steel than bought my targets with cowards gold.
With best regards,
Livia De La Coeur (Dame of Azzal)
You made me spill water all over my keyboard. ;D
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Letter from Alura Aurea (8 hours, 45 minutes ago)
Message sent to all full members of "Véinsørmoot" (31 recipients)
Alura,
[REDACTED]
This conversation can be continued at a later date.
[REDACTED]
With honor,
Lady Alura Aurea of Terran
Stratelavian of Véinsørmoot, Senator of Vassar, Marshal of the Pride of Phantaria
Out-of-Character from Alura Aurea (8 hours, 44 minutes ago)
Message sent to all full members of "Véinsørmoot" (31 recipients)
...Did I just address a letter to myself? Jesus christ. Alright, I'm off for the night. :-P Be back in a few hours folks. Cheers!
Gregory John Struck
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Hah, I can imagine the confused look on the scribe's face. :D
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I'm supposed to send this letter to... whom, my liege?
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Oh god. I can't believe I did that!
I have NO idea who I was addressing that letter to in particular and I'll be damned if I know why I addressed it to myself.
Genius. That's when you know you need to quietly turn off the laptop and go to sleep. :-P
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http://forum.battlemaster.org/index.php/topic,2786.0/nowap.html
This is why that thread exists. :)
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Adventurer gathering for 2 hours:
(region missing too)
You wander around the and...
1st hour: You are disturbed by peasants and militia and can not gather anything.
2nd hour: there was some kind of error. You find nothing, but we'd appreciate a bug report.
Ah... haha? Hey, I don't give something for nothing ::)
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Refer to the bugtracker, the bug was fixed already, waiting for an update.
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Tournament Canceled (just in)
Rumours spread that (nobody)s tournament had to be cancelled due to low participation.
Paused character, I guess? It just seems so sad. I imagine the lone knight, arriving in an empty field, ending up jousting with trees....
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No, I think it's a bug. I received that message in more than one realm on more than one island. Or perhaps all the tournaments of all paused characters ever just got cleaned out of the system together?
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Trying to update General bulletin:
You are not a . Go away.
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I got nobody's tournoment mesage in colonies and twilight. Weird
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Flying Hongrns was being ravaged by 1 monster with 125 CS but it showed as 0 CS on my scout report. So I attacked the region with 2 men of 56CS, got my ass handled. But I had 3 healers so I didn't lose any men. My plan was farming honour by continuously fighting 1 monster with 2 men but a turn after I attacked FH, 2 monster groups spawned, and I ended up fighting 1700 CS with 56CS...
BM's AI is... just brilliant...
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Watching a Lord try to farm Honour in her own region by taking two men against one monster and getting steamrolled by the AI... ;)
In all honesty, the funniest thing I've seen in game was watching someone run off at the mouth in game, get banned, and sit in the South Divide after issuing death threats to the entire realm, watching South Divide get taken, and watching said outlawed bigmouth get arrested and slain. All within two weeks. The nonstop insults were actually pretty entertaining, if not IC infuriating.
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Paused character, I guess? It just seems so sad. I imagine the lone knight, arriving in an empty field, ending up jousting with trees....
Thats the main reason why peasants can't organize tournaments...they are just a failure from the start!
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Just tried out for a RC and got a SF. But a fatal error has occurred and I lost the center...
What a great b-day present from BM. What a wonderful game... knowing exactly what I wanted do!
(constantly built RCs... of course none was created due to the bug... but the messages about RCs being built were sent over the realm and everyone got 50 messages each LOL)
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One of the funniest times I've had must have been in Taselak.
Was one character constantly running around naked and charging enemy armies and that happened to be my char's "best mate". Most likely only because I played a char who just constantly charged into battle, with or without support or orders hehe. Fun times... fun times
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Paused character, I guess? It just seems so sad. I imagine the lone knight, arriving in an empty field, ending up jousting with trees....
Don Quixote, anyone?
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Letter from a prisoner (50 minutes ago)
Prisoner Bastian has sent you a letter:
Lord Judge of Oritolon,
courtesy does not seem to run in your blood for peaceful nobles out
of diplomatic status and this turns quite disappointing.
Coming unguarded was the best way to ensure that Oritolon nobles had
nothing to be afraid of it and well, patrols did have quite some time to capture me,
thus my enquiry is plain and forward. Why to capture a noble who sits on a table
unguarded with only peaceful intentions while seeking for a way to resolve the dispute
that keeps apart two realms that have nothing to fight for anymore?
Secondly, talking to a person behind the cell door and expecting to discuss diplomacy,
looks more like the training of the dog, considering that my needs are greater
while in prison disabling me from having a clear position on the issue.
You know, the food, if any... is terrible in this rotten prison.
My diplomatic coming was under the blesses of Minas Thalion royal family
who values integrity and loyalty of a peaceful mind more than Oritolon higher nobility
who merely stand on the etiquette by treating their prisoner as a rogue for not bearing
the necessary credentials of the diplomatic bourgeoisie.
However, one would be a fool to spoil any opportunity, even if unfair and not well balanced,
to discuss the option of peaceful resolution of the current diplomatic dispute between
a considerable power of the South and a dying realm of the North that poses absolutely
no threat to Oritolon anymore; Minas Thalion can hardly cope with exerting authority
over the distant Drenga. Thus, if I may ask, what is the reason behind this hatred?
Why not support Minas Thalion's new beginning and gain a powerful friend in the North
instead, thus avoiding the sad outcomes of any long war who leads to total annihilation,
such as many dissatisfied refugees whose only purpose will be to revenge those responsible
for their doom to live in foreign lands? Support relocation of Minas Thalion and a
prosperous future may lie ahead.
I assure Oritolon that if coming to a conclusion, the wise Crown of Minas Thalion
will not refuse hearing to anyone bearing diplomatic news, being formal diplomat or not.
Keep in mind, what is simply common knowledge; no friendship can last eternally and
sooner than expected, Oritolon may strive to find personalities that can be trusted.
Actively supporting the relocation of your former enemy is something difficult to forget.
Regards,
Visit (just sent)
While you rot in your cell, Ash Ketchum, Minister of Justice of Oritolon, Ambassador of Oritolon, visits you and says:
Noble Bastian,
It already quite a thing to say about courtesy that Oritolon extends.
It is another thing to say about the dungeon food that my prison dungeon have to offer.
Ask any prisoners out there that ever venture inside my dungeon and they have good stories to
share about my nice hospitality. I have always ask my guards to ensure a clean room and some
Oritolon food for the welcoming. I also provide some Wine from my own collection, as refreshment.
This is the first time I hear a Noble captured having terrible food.
Oh, well. I will pay a visit to the Dungeon Cook.
Hey, I am the Cook! How dare you mention my food is terrible?
Rot in this prison for a day or two until I get my unhappiness over your food comment out of my head.
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Joking about Game Fair warning: Some scrolls are not yet implemented, you can buy them but you can not yet use them.
Roleplay from Oak (just sent)
Message sent to everyone in "Darkanism"
After Oak meeting with Ruos the green wizard Wizard in Rantire.
Oak speaks to a Rantire old man. "I do not know what they feed these so-called Wizards in their heads. Asking for stuff that is out of this world."
The old man shakes his head and replies. "You are crazy fool kid. Newly out of birth block are you? What do you know of Wizards is just a meagre drop of blood and sweat you have incur your whole life."
Oak grins and flashes his teeth sheepishly. Or lack of teeth due to most of its chopped during monsters and undead champions battles. "Well, I suppose my bravery and brashness to rush into frenzy at the sight of monsters, undead not only cost my blood and sweat. My teeth as well. Now if there is a Wizard that can perform magic by restoring my teeth instead of those useless and possibly unusable Scrolls that he kept warning me about."
(OOC: This is in regard to Game Fair warning: Some scrolls are not yet implemented, you can buy them but you can not yet use them. Enjoy.)