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Topics - JDodger

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Letter from Calculon Rizz
Message sent to all nobles of Sandalak (22 recipients) - 30 days, 6 hours, 24 minutes ago

Dearest Senator Nix, my friend, and also-dearest Governor-Hammer Asher, also my friend!

Hi! It's me, Calcy! How have you been?! I have been great!! OK! Polite catching up done! On to business!

This letter is to inform you that you are in breach of copyright! My copyright! Yes! The right of the Merchant of Might, the Mercantile Mongoose! The Conqueror of Commerce! Me! Calculon Rizz!

You stand hereby accused of a bold and boisterous breach of aforesaid inalienable commercial right, the right of copy! My legal beagles will be at your doorsteps shortly! With big writs and big sh'...! I told you all about them before! Their bark is wor  bite is worse than their barks, their poo is worse than their chew! And they're coming for you!

The Original War Incorporated is a wholly-owned subsidiary of CalcCorp! We mothballed it when I decided to sail off into the sunset for a while!

So! What are you doing calling yourselves the ORIGINAL War Incorporated!?!?!

Calcy's back and feeling LITIGIOUS!!!

Calculon Rizz
Noble of Sandalak

Roleplaying / A Dance in Castle Ubent 2: The Clink of the Coins
« on: March 03, 2023, 04:29:34 AM »
Roleplay from Tetraxian Rizz Player experience level: mentor Player play preference: rp-combat
Message sent to all nobles of Perleone (18 recipients) - 1 month, 1 day, 21 hours, 17 minutes ago

It is dark, and it is cold, and he remembers but shaky things, stuttering...

Roleplaying / Karl-Jagutu Happy Smoke and Sing Time
« on: March 02, 2023, 09:43:35 PM »
The fire is dug about a foot and a half into the earth, and they would have dug deeper, you think, if they could have in this place.

The whole thing is an ingeniously crafted carburetor-like setup with a little chimney up and out through the clay off to one side, and the light is low and close and pleasant, even given the circumstances.

The little brown man you've been captured by - the leader of the little brown men you've been captured by - leans in close to the patient flames with something in his mouth, some kind of wet rolled-up leaf, the suffocatingly-intense scent of it making your head spin even from where you are, tied to this tree somewhere deep in the unmapped delta-swamps of Abaka.

When he draws upon it, causing the end to spark and glow with a fire of a thousand colors, you nearly pass out.

Congratulations, lucky peasant, or whoever you think you are, you just caught contact. This little guy smokes something serious, and if you can stay awake and lucid, he might tell you what it is so you can get more - if you survive this !@#$.

Man, you suddenly really hope to survive this !@#$ again. You've found a whole new reason for living. This is awesome, who cares who's got you tied up to what where or how it happened or the hellish trip it took to get here through swamps and swamp things. More, please.

The little brown man regards you with a lean and quizzical eye, non-smoking hand rolled up over his smoking arm as he takes a long, long draw and blows some of the smoke around to all the captives, some of whom you know, and others you don't.

Not everybody reacts to it the same way. Some cough thickened coughs and cry thickened tears, others pass out right away. Some of these will not survive the night. You're lucky. You've made it this far without any major symptoms of an overdose.

"Wow! You liking this !@#$!" the little brown man says to you, pursing his lips and nodding.

"Okay, new white friend, you want Karl-Jagutu tell you story, maybe singing song? Smoking more? A-ha-ha! Yes! You wanting that! Okay! Okay! Smoking and then singing! We friends now!"

"Oh! No, sorry, you staying tied up!"

Report from Kilhorn Dodger
Message sent to all nobles of Eponllyn (14 recipients) - many moons ago

Blood King of the Xavax who is not a Xavax

I have issued demandings to the Duke of Blades

He will give to me the land of Commonyr

If he does not

Raise his taxations

Take from him many golds

Attached are the demandings

Letter from Kilhorn Dodger
(Personal message to Andross Blint)

Greetings Duke of Blades I am the Masked One the Hand of Death Kilhorn Dodger

Give to me the land of Commonyr

It is a rich land and I desire it

Kilhorn Dodger
Knight of Westmoor

Kilhorn Dodger
Knight of Westmoor

Roleplaying / Tales from the Bizarre Reappearance of House Dodger
« on: June 17, 2020, 12:29:15 AM »
Greetings again, I return for the are pee. This thread will compile (hopefully) all my RPs from the new iteration of my account.

To catch yourself up on Dodger lore across the various iterations of my account (started in '07, restarted in '14 and again in '20 - ffs), please visit my original wiki at: (this includes outdated information on current locations and other things that have since been retconned, and leaves out many things that have occurred since it was last updated - ie. much that is "non-canonical")

And the forum thread "Wolves of War: House Dodger" at,7263.0.html ("canon")

As well as "The Continued Adventures of House Dodger" at,8716.0.html ("canon")

Dramatis personae: (to be added later)

Roleplaying / The Continued Adventures of House Dodger
« on: April 14, 2019, 04:08:04 AM »
The night was dark, and somewhere in the distance an inhuman shriek rent the chilly air.

An old man picked his way through the ancient ruined shell of a noble manor in Gor Ault.

Had Heimar been the kind of man for musing, he might have mused at the irony of his situation. Alone in a lost and monster-infested land, surrounded by all the dread of dark and creaking boards and spiders and Creator knows what else scurrying off into the gloom, he feared none of it half so much as he feared the very thing he sought.

But Heimar was not a man for musing. He was an old soldier, burned out from too many battles and too much raaha smoke to cover the pain of lost friends. So he did not muse. He pushed aside his fears, his very thoughts, consigned them to the dark place behind the well-built walls of his soul, and continued on his mission.

The thing he sought - and it was a thing, for what other word can describe that which cannot be called human, and yet is not spirit, nor elf, nor beast, and yet moves as though it had will, and sense, and kills and kills again? - was somewhere within these crumbling walls, somewhere in the shrieking plains of Gor Ault where man was predator or prey or long gone.

Heimar had been sent by a master he'd once loved to find this thing to which he had somehow become bound, this killing machine that had turned his life into a nightmare unending, this yoke he thought he'd escaped twice, only to be dragged back under its crushing weight. That weight had smothered all love in his heart, until all that was left was duty unshirkable and the yearning for the release of death.

For now, Heimar believed, death was his only escape.

He found it collapsed in a dusty corner, like a doll tossed aside by a storming child. The yellowy eyes stared blankly off at empty darkness. The cruel mouth twisted in a meaningless grimace, exposing sharpened teeth behind the cracked and ragged lips. The clawlike hands twitched intermittently, spasmodically, on the ends of arms askew, splayed out at angles unnatural to the human form.

Heimar drew in a slow breath, shoved his hands into his pockets as he looked down at it. Was there life within? If so, it showed no sign of seeing him or sensing his presence. He thought - but perhaps it was the wind through the cracks in the rotting walls, but he thought - he could hear shallow rasping breaths.

He hoped against hope that he was too late, that he would fail in this "last" duty and go back to his peaceful life as a beggar in the streets of Agyr. But he knew better. As he drew forth the stone chip the nameless Khalkar brother had thrust into his hand by surprise as he sat smoking on the docks, he could feel the power within it surging forth as it never had.

It had led him here, and now he must complete the mission.

The thing stirred even before he pressed the stone to its convulsing palm, a great creaking shudder up from the base of the spine to the base of the skull. Heimar drew back and fought the urge to vomit.

"Can't be helped," he muttered to himself after a moment. "Made an Oath..."

Forcefully, he pressed the stone into the outstretched palm. A wheezing gasp racked the  supine form, the spine arching toward the ceiling. Heimar backed away as it siezed and shuddered, rasping groans grinding forth from between the desiccated lips.

At last the limbs shot out at crazed angles, the yellowed eyes opened fully, the mouth opened, and a rasping scream worse than that of a tortured animal burst forth from between the sharpened teeth. Then it collapsed, and was silent.

Heimar hoped again, briefly. But the thing stirred, slowly this time, the claws seeking purchase on the warped floorboards, turning itself, forcing itself to its hands and knees.

The head rose slowly, lanky hair parting to reveal the strange, barklike skin of a face halfway between human and monster. The yellow eyes glinted. It bared its sharpened teeth in a savage, bestial grin.

"Captain... Heimar," it rasped.

Heimar drew breath, fighting the wave of nausea that threatened to overwhelm him.

"Lord Kilhorn," he said, clearing his throat. "You have been assigned a task."

If a tool of murder can be said to smile, the thing known as Kilhorn Dodger smiled.

Helpline / Set next destination bug?
« on: July 13, 2017, 12:06:05 AM »
On east, traveled to Winkamus and set next to Domus. Next turn in Winkamus, tried to cancel travel to Domus to travel elsewhere and ended up stuck turning around to Winkamus, the full travel time between Winkamus and Domus remaining to get "back" to Winkamus as if it was a long travel that had taken a full day that I was turning around in the middle of. to my understanding my character should have been able to spend an hour to cancel travel and ended up stationary in Winkamus, able to then travel to any neighboring region, but this didnt happen.

turn 1: set travel from Meuse to Winkamus (4 or 5 hours, timepool at 8 or 9) and set next to Domus ( 3 hours)

turn 2: already travelling to Domus, used cancel travel option, ended up travelling between Domus and Winkamus with 3 hours to arrive, only option to turn back around to Domus, arrival time one hour from now.

seems off to me

BM General Discussion / Ending Credits
« on: July 01, 2017, 06:46:59 AM »

Colonies / Sink the Colonies
« on: June 25, 2017, 12:53:25 AM »
Anyone have a good reason not to?

Other than "I have a semi decent gold farm there" or "Outer Tilog still has two more realms to go before their dominion is complete"?

Holla at me if so.

East Island / EC for Dummies
« on: May 27, 2017, 02:44:14 AM »
The region owner Vix Tiramora and their allies defend.
The Sirion troops attack because they are at war with Perdan.
The Caligus troops attack because they are at war with Perdan.
The Eponllyn troops attack because they are at war with Perdan.

A calm wind blows, to the joy of the archers.

should not be able to happen. if you cant recruit a unit or repair equipment in your capital after a lost battle, you should not be able to drop militia either.

Roleplaying / Wolves of War: House Dodger
« on: July 18, 2016, 06:01:52 AM »
I recently found a bunch of old RPs from my different chars, so I'm  going to compile them all here. Unfortunately many of my favorites have been lost, and these that remain are no more than scattered episodes written over the last two years, so there is no cohesive narrative. I will attempt to summarize context where I can.

We begin with the unexpected arrival of an unknown nobleman to Askileon, after being lost at sea for many years...

East Island / Perdan and Vix, true heroes of EC
« on: July 10, 2016, 09:14:26 PM »
Let us applaud them for their daring rescue of the oppressed and tiny realms of the south. Let us salute the brave sacrifices of their soldiers on the walls of Xavax, Isadril and Ibladesh. Let us commend their wise commanders for their effective and cunning strategies.

Some of my favorite things about Perdan:

1. the Beggar King
2. William de Braose, Duke-Imperator
3. all the nobles
4. looting
5. winning
6. looting again
7. bisciye and its highly intelligent peasantry
8. finally having enough food to feed them
9. more looting
10. razing fortifications
11. serving only the most just of desserts
12. taking all the names
13. kicking all the arses
14. them hating us cuz they aint us

please join me in celebrating these excellent realms, vix and perdan players feel free to add your own points to my by-no-means-exhaustive list.

Dwilight / Westfold vs. Swordfell war
« on: April 12, 2016, 09:40:42 AM »
discuss  8)

Development / anti-takeover exploit
« on: March 22, 2016, 06:44:40 AM »
changing duchy or region allegiance to prevent a to should be stopped immediately by any means.

the fact that a dev is using such an exploit is profoundly disappointing.

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