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#21
Roleplaying / Re: Karl-Jagutu Happy Smoke an...
Last post by JDodger - March 12, 2023, 05:40:11 AMIt took until nightfall for Karl-Jagutu to catch up to his Khansguard, who he greeted from at least a mile out across the plains of Daisha with a piercing, high-pitched whoop.
They whooped and chattered and birdcalled back, some turning to smile and gesture for him to hurry and join them. There were twenty-six Abakan swamp hunters, tiny little men with sharp eyes and strong bows riding on fat little ponies, and one extremely nervous Captain, a man who had long been in the pocket of a certain Jonn Dodger. This latter's employment had been extended to new duties, and long years of dealing with too many Dodgers had him less than excited for the change.
This latter's name was Erwin of Gethsemene, once Guard-Captain of a militia unit in a place called Gotland, which was now a mere part of a place called Irondale. He had been deemed Highly Useful by Big Daddy Jonn even before the monster known as Kilhorn had moved into Gotland full-time. Kilhorn had done this to better prosecute his killing in another place once called Caelint, which was where Erwin was now, except Caelint was now a mere part of a place called Irondale too. Erwin had seen a bit too much of Dodgers for one lifetime.
Still, he tried not to look unprofessional as he half-turned in his saddle to observe his new assignment, Karl-Jagutu, former Khan of Aren, who was at present cantering his horse - full sized, though he looked tiny riding it - in circles, kicking up clouds of dust and blowing up clouds of smoke from one of his ever-present cigars. Two mounds wrapped in cloth were thrown over his horse's back, one before and one behind his saddle, no doubt some pilfered supplies from Firbalt.
He was shrilly shouting out something in Abakan, which Erwin only knew was Abakan because that was where all these damned insane savages were from, some swamp, apparently, in the Colonies, where they didn't wear decent clothing and enjoyed great excess of smoking that raaha stuff Heimar always used to smoke dipped into a noxious elixir they called Babar, and that was how they all talked. In Abakan. Loudly. All of them together, over each other and even their supposed liege, all the time. But then at some incomprehensible signal, all the soldier-savages stopped making noise in unison, and, still about a half-mile off, Karl-Jagutu leapt up in his saddle and began, of all things, to sing.
This time Erwin could understand the words, because it was sung in a version of the sailor's tongue, which every person of worldly experience knows to some extent. That Karl-Jagutu chose to sing in that tongue at that moment may have been for Erwin's benefit, or any Daishan peasants in the area's benefit, or perhaps even for your benefit, or maybe Karl-Jagutu just liked to sing in other languages.
Karl-Jagutu sang:
Ba-ba, ba-ba ba-ba, ba-ba ba-ba-ba
Ba-ba, ba-ba-bad boy gonna come
Bad boy gonna come, bad boy gonna come-a
Run off to the town and a-tell ev-ery-one-a
Ba-ba, ba-ba ba-ba, ba-ba ba-ba-ba
Ba-ba, ba-ba-bad boy gonna come
Bad boy gonna come, bad boy gonna come-a
When I sing me song go and tell what me a sung-a
Now
(Pause)
I was born a disciplined child
The Tiger Blood make me got so wild
I was born a disciplined child
The Tiger Blood make me got so wild
Ey - Down in the swamp, Abaka, home
A little brownskin roughneck child was born
Inna the swampland, hey-o-o
Inna the swampland, hey-o
Him learned how to raid and him learned how to fight
Him learned how to run them swamps at night
Inna the swampland, hey-o-o
Inna the swampland, hey-o
Ba-ba, ba-ba ba-ba, ba-ba ba-ba-ba
Ba-ba, ba-ba-bad boy gonna come
Bad boy gonna come, bad boy gonna come-a
Karl-Jagutu wild old, imagine now that him a-young-a!
At about this point in the song Karl-Jagutu had caught up with his men, or at least he'd gotten within a hundred yards or so, and with their sharp eyes they spotted what he was carrying before and behind his saddle. With renewed vigor, the whooping and chattering began at double the volume, and twenty-six fat ponies were soon being kicked into action on every side of Erwin and his horse as the Khansguard raced to meet their once-Khan.
Erwin, not nearly as sharp of eye and confused by the sudden ruckus, took a few moments to realize what he was seeing. When a pair of tousled heads sprung up from the mounds of cloth, there could be no doubt - a couple of young ladies! And apparently of relatively decent breeding and etiquette! And with smiles on their lovely faces!
Erwin had seen quite enough of Dodgers for more than one lifetime!
They whooped and chattered and birdcalled back, some turning to smile and gesture for him to hurry and join them. There were twenty-six Abakan swamp hunters, tiny little men with sharp eyes and strong bows riding on fat little ponies, and one extremely nervous Captain, a man who had long been in the pocket of a certain Jonn Dodger. This latter's employment had been extended to new duties, and long years of dealing with too many Dodgers had him less than excited for the change.
This latter's name was Erwin of Gethsemene, once Guard-Captain of a militia unit in a place called Gotland, which was now a mere part of a place called Irondale. He had been deemed Highly Useful by Big Daddy Jonn even before the monster known as Kilhorn had moved into Gotland full-time. Kilhorn had done this to better prosecute his killing in another place once called Caelint, which was where Erwin was now, except Caelint was now a mere part of a place called Irondale too. Erwin had seen a bit too much of Dodgers for one lifetime.
Still, he tried not to look unprofessional as he half-turned in his saddle to observe his new assignment, Karl-Jagutu, former Khan of Aren, who was at present cantering his horse - full sized, though he looked tiny riding it - in circles, kicking up clouds of dust and blowing up clouds of smoke from one of his ever-present cigars. Two mounds wrapped in cloth were thrown over his horse's back, one before and one behind his saddle, no doubt some pilfered supplies from Firbalt.
He was shrilly shouting out something in Abakan, which Erwin only knew was Abakan because that was where all these damned insane savages were from, some swamp, apparently, in the Colonies, where they didn't wear decent clothing and enjoyed great excess of smoking that raaha stuff Heimar always used to smoke dipped into a noxious elixir they called Babar, and that was how they all talked. In Abakan. Loudly. All of them together, over each other and even their supposed liege, all the time. But then at some incomprehensible signal, all the soldier-savages stopped making noise in unison, and, still about a half-mile off, Karl-Jagutu leapt up in his saddle and began, of all things, to sing.
This time Erwin could understand the words, because it was sung in a version of the sailor's tongue, which every person of worldly experience knows to some extent. That Karl-Jagutu chose to sing in that tongue at that moment may have been for Erwin's benefit, or any Daishan peasants in the area's benefit, or perhaps even for your benefit, or maybe Karl-Jagutu just liked to sing in other languages.
Karl-Jagutu sang:
Ba-ba, ba-ba ba-ba, ba-ba ba-ba-ba
Ba-ba, ba-ba-bad boy gonna come
Bad boy gonna come, bad boy gonna come-a
Run off to the town and a-tell ev-ery-one-a
Ba-ba, ba-ba ba-ba, ba-ba ba-ba-ba
Ba-ba, ba-ba-bad boy gonna come
Bad boy gonna come, bad boy gonna come-a
When I sing me song go and tell what me a sung-a
Now
(Pause)
I was born a disciplined child
The Tiger Blood make me got so wild
I was born a disciplined child
The Tiger Blood make me got so wild
Ey - Down in the swamp, Abaka, home
A little brownskin roughneck child was born
Inna the swampland, hey-o-o
Inna the swampland, hey-o
Him learned how to raid and him learned how to fight
Him learned how to run them swamps at night
Inna the swampland, hey-o-o
Inna the swampland, hey-o
Ba-ba, ba-ba ba-ba, ba-ba ba-ba-ba
Ba-ba, ba-ba-bad boy gonna come
Bad boy gonna come, bad boy gonna come-a
Karl-Jagutu wild old, imagine now that him a-young-a!
At about this point in the song Karl-Jagutu had caught up with his men, or at least he'd gotten within a hundred yards or so, and with their sharp eyes they spotted what he was carrying before and behind his saddle. With renewed vigor, the whooping and chattering began at double the volume, and twenty-six fat ponies were soon being kicked into action on every side of Erwin and his horse as the Khansguard raced to meet their once-Khan.
Erwin, not nearly as sharp of eye and confused by the sudden ruckus, took a few moments to realize what he was seeing. When a pair of tousled heads sprung up from the mounds of cloth, there could be no doubt - a couple of young ladies! And apparently of relatively decent breeding and etiquette! And with smiles on their lovely faces!
Erwin had seen quite enough of Dodgers for more than one lifetime!
#22
Roleplaying / Re: The Mercantile Mongoose: T...
Last post by JDodger - March 12, 2023, 02:40:48 AMLetter from Calculon Rizz
Message sent to all nobles of Sandalak (21 recipients) - 15 days, 7 hours, 29 minutes ago
Chancellor Three,
My legal beagles are enough for you and two more just like you!
You are in brazen violation of my copyright and engaged in misappropriation, misrepresentation, and massive malfeasance!
You should be thankful that my reverse-class-action lawsuit is taking as long as it is to prepare! I will be suing a great many people very soon! My legal beagles are quite literally straining at their leashes!
And my name is Calculon, not Noble Rizz! Remember that when you get served!
OK thanks bye!
Calculon Rizz
Knight of Sandalak
Message sent to all nobles of Sandalak (21 recipients) - 15 days, 7 hours, 29 minutes ago
Chancellor Three,
My legal beagles are enough for you and two more just like you!
You are in brazen violation of my copyright and engaged in misappropriation, misrepresentation, and massive malfeasance!
You should be thankful that my reverse-class-action lawsuit is taking as long as it is to prepare! I will be suing a great many people very soon! My legal beagles are quite literally straining at their leashes!
And my name is Calculon, not Noble Rizz! Remember that when you get served!
OK thanks bye!
Calculon Rizz
Knight of Sandalak
#23
Roleplaying / Re: The Mercantile Mongoose: T...
Last post by JDodger - March 12, 2023, 02:40:10 AMLetter from Calculon Rizz
Message sent to Golden Council of War (6 recipients) - 1 month, 7 hours, 54 minutes ago
Senator Nix, my friend! Since you have expressed a desire for advice, I cannot help but oblige!
So! Advice! Be advised that my legal beagles have thus-far only been given the scent of one Chancellor Three! At this time, our investigations indicate that he is wholly responsible for the violation of my intellectual sovereignty!
Now! That being said! Think not that I lack the resources to obtain the scent of any one of you! My legal beagles could be at any one of your doors in the shake of a pup's tail!
So don't come down on the wrong side of this thing, friend Senator!
Calculon Rizz
Knight of Sandalak
Message sent to Golden Council of War (6 recipients) - 1 month, 7 hours, 54 minutes ago
Senator Nix, my friend! Since you have expressed a desire for advice, I cannot help but oblige!
So! Advice! Be advised that my legal beagles have thus-far only been given the scent of one Chancellor Three! At this time, our investigations indicate that he is wholly responsible for the violation of my intellectual sovereignty!
Now! That being said! Think not that I lack the resources to obtain the scent of any one of you! My legal beagles could be at any one of your doors in the shake of a pup's tail!
So don't come down on the wrong side of this thing, friend Senator!
Calculon Rizz
Knight of Sandalak
#24
Roleplaying / Re: The Mercantile Mongoose: T...
Last post by JDodger - March 12, 2023, 02:38:22 AMLetter from Calculon Rizz
Message sent to Golden Council of War (6 recipients) - 1 month, 1 day, 19 hours, 54 minutes ago
Oh, hi Council!
Well, I suppose I should begin by saying that no participation of mine in this Council should be construed as an abandonment of my right of copy to the name "Original War Incorporated," currently being pilfered, pillaged and plagiarized by Chancellor Three!
Yes! It's my name! The name I gave the army, I mean! And my army! I came up with both! With my big brain! So my big brain owns them! Both!
Chancellor Three, my legal beagles are straining at their chainings! I will cry havoc and unleash them upon your upholstery soon!
But anyway! I suppose I don't mind helping finish off that icky undead queen! If anyone wants some advice from the Commercial Conqueror, the Captain of Capitalism, ask away!
Calculon Rizz
Knight of Sandalak
Message sent to Golden Council of War (6 recipients) - 1 month, 1 day, 19 hours, 54 minutes ago
Oh, hi Council!
Well, I suppose I should begin by saying that no participation of mine in this Council should be construed as an abandonment of my right of copy to the name "Original War Incorporated," currently being pilfered, pillaged and plagiarized by Chancellor Three!
Yes! It's my name! The name I gave the army, I mean! And my army! I came up with both! With my big brain! So my big brain owns them! Both!
Chancellor Three, my legal beagles are straining at their chainings! I will cry havoc and unleash them upon your upholstery soon!
But anyway! I suppose I don't mind helping finish off that icky undead queen! If anyone wants some advice from the Commercial Conqueror, the Captain of Capitalism, ask away!
Calculon Rizz
Knight of Sandalak
#25
Roleplaying / Re: The Mercantile Mongoose: T...
Last post by JDodger - March 12, 2023, 02:36:54 AMLetter from Calculon Rizz
Message sent to all nobles of Sandalak (19 recipients) - 3 days, 21 hours, 14 minutes ago
Calaco is my cat. He is a fluffy little fellow who has won more victories than the Bird-Postor ever did, thank you for your input smallbrain.
Calculon Rizz
Knight of Sandalak
Roleplay from Calculon Rizz
Message sent to all nobles of Sandalak (19 recipients) - 3 days, 21 hours, 12 minutes ago
Calculon takes a long look at Mister Fluffikins, victor of many battles over mice and insects, comfortably snoozing in his favorite pre-dawn nap spot as Calcy sips his third coffee of the day.
"Your name is Calaco now, Mister Fluffikins," Calculon whispers softly. "I forgot to put an asterisk."
Message sent to all nobles of Sandalak (19 recipients) - 3 days, 21 hours, 14 minutes ago
Calaco is my cat. He is a fluffy little fellow who has won more victories than the Bird-Postor ever did, thank you for your input smallbrain.
Calculon Rizz
Knight of Sandalak
Roleplay from Calculon Rizz
Message sent to all nobles of Sandalak (19 recipients) - 3 days, 21 hours, 12 minutes ago
Calculon takes a long look at Mister Fluffikins, victor of many battles over mice and insects, comfortably snoozing in his favorite pre-dawn nap spot as Calcy sips his third coffee of the day.
"Your name is Calaco now, Mister Fluffikins," Calculon whispers softly. "I forgot to put an asterisk."
#26
Roleplaying / Re: The Mercantile Mongoose: T...
Last post by JDodger - March 12, 2023, 02:35:30 AMRoleplay from Calculon Rizz Player experience level: mentor Player play preference: rp-combat
Message sent to all nobles of Sandalak (21 recipients) - 15 days, 7 hours, 3 minutes ago
"So what is a Soliferum?!?!?" Calculon asks Bo.
"A dead realm," says the Silent Giant named Bo Dodger.
"Dead?! So what's this about the banners..?!?!?"
"Oh, he's talking about some relative of his seceding a duchy as the continent it was on sank into the sea, naming it after aforesaid dead realm. So uh, yeah, a twice-dead realm that only lived once."
"Why would... why is the Chancellor even talking about that?!?!"
"Oh, could be a bunch of reasons," says Bo, shifting in his seat and taking a sip of coffee, looking off to the side. "Might be he knows I'm fighting for you."
Calculon scoffs. "And what do you have to do with it!?!?"
Bo's eyes narrow as he grins a quiet, but quite large, grin.
"Well, my dad was the main one who made it possible in the first place."
"How so?!?!"
"'Cause if it wasn't for my dad, the realm that duchy was in would've been a dead realm too."
Bo chuckles as he takes another sip of coffee and slaps a giant hand on Calculon's shoulder. "So yeah, he might know who I am. And if he does, he better damn well act like it."
Message sent to all nobles of Sandalak (21 recipients) - 15 days, 7 hours, 3 minutes ago
"So what is a Soliferum?!?!?" Calculon asks Bo.
"A dead realm," says the Silent Giant named Bo Dodger.
"Dead?! So what's this about the banners..?!?!?"
"Oh, he's talking about some relative of his seceding a duchy as the continent it was on sank into the sea, naming it after aforesaid dead realm. So uh, yeah, a twice-dead realm that only lived once."
"Why would... why is the Chancellor even talking about that?!?!"
"Oh, could be a bunch of reasons," says Bo, shifting in his seat and taking a sip of coffee, looking off to the side. "Might be he knows I'm fighting for you."
Calculon scoffs. "And what do you have to do with it!?!?"
Bo's eyes narrow as he grins a quiet, but quite large, grin.
"Well, my dad was the main one who made it possible in the first place."
"How so?!?!"
"'Cause if it wasn't for my dad, the realm that duchy was in would've been a dead realm too."
Bo chuckles as he takes another sip of coffee and slaps a giant hand on Calculon's shoulder. "So yeah, he might know who I am. And if he does, he better damn well act like it."
#27
Roleplaying / Re: The Mercantile Mongoose: T...
Last post by JDodger - March 12, 2023, 02:32:53 AMBo continues singing as Calculon nods dreamily, bloodshot eyes red with the last coals of the once-blazing fire:
With dreams so strange and - insistent
It's no wonder I go around kicking things
While I was drunk, I dreamt I could fly
I never dreamt things would be bad between
you and I
We burn joyfully and we
give off light
Unalloyed joy,
at least
. for tonight.
So take it on the chin!
Spit teeth, shut up and sing!
Like the veins in my arms,
like the tattoos on your skin
Night upon night,
death threats and cigarettes!
Like lilacs off the tongue!
This was supposed to be fun!
This was supposed to be fun...
"Bo?"
"Yeah, kid?"
"I feel bad about Bard..."
"Who?"
"Bard... Merec Merritson... the singer..."
Why is that name... but as we do so often, Bo asks the wrong question.
"Why do you feel bad, kid?"
"I didn't tell him..."
"Tell him what?"
But Calculon is already asleep, sitting next to the last dying coals of their last fire in Saenna, and it will be a long time before they think to talk of Merec Merritson again.
With dreams so strange and - insistent
It's no wonder I go around kicking things
While I was drunk, I dreamt I could fly
I never dreamt things would be bad between
you and I
We burn joyfully and we
give off light
Unalloyed joy,
at least
. for tonight.
So take it on the chin!
Spit teeth, shut up and sing!
Like the veins in my arms,
like the tattoos on your skin
Night upon night,
death threats and cigarettes!
Like lilacs off the tongue!
This was supposed to be fun!
This was supposed to be fun...
"Bo?"
"Yeah, kid?"
"I feel bad about Bard..."
"Who?"
"Bard... Merec Merritson... the singer..."
Why is that name... but as we do so often, Bo asks the wrong question.
"Why do you feel bad, kid?"
"I didn't tell him..."
"Tell him what?"
But Calculon is already asleep, sitting next to the last dying coals of their last fire in Saenna, and it will be a long time before they think to talk of Merec Merritson again.
#28
Roleplaying / Re: The Mercantile Mongoose: T...
Last post by JDodger - March 12, 2023, 02:31:35 AMRoleplay from Calculon Rizz Player experience level: mentor Player play preference: rp-combat
Message sent to all nobles of Sandalak (20 recipients) - 8 days, 22 hours, 50 minutes ago
Over a week ago or whatever - Saenna
Calculon never ends up singing the song of Bendy Lou for Bo, as they both get smoked up and forget all about it.
But Bo ends up telling Calculon a very funny story about the time he was Dread Sovereign of Taselak for a few days, which is a story that has many laughs as well as many lessons for Calculon and others about trusting the wrong people.
Calcy loves raaha. It is the most amazing thing he has ever experienced, his already-superfast big brain suddenly working at around ten-times efficiency, the world in slow motion, but his mind of clean clinical numbers has already decided to never, ever smoke it again.
He will break this promise to himself some several times to come, but Calculon has already sensed an opportunity, and needs no one to tell him the rules of the game. Never get high on your own supply.
He rolls the hard little black seeds around in his hand inside his pocket and cocks his head at Bo.
"Bo, I'm sleepy," he says.
"Yeah, that's normal after a bit."
"Bo, I'm never sleepy."
"Yeah, I know," says Bo with a funny little tight-lipped half-smile on his giant face. His eyes look kinda sad though.
"Bo, will you sing me a song while I fall asleep?"
"A song? All I know is old songs, kid. I'm not like your boy Bard with the hippity-dippity stuff."
"That's ok," Calculon murmurs as he squinches down into his fur-lined greatcoat, coffee mug slowly tipping in his hand as his big round sleepy eyes glow with the dimming firelight.
"Alright, then," says Bo, reaching out to snatch Calculon's coffee before it falls. My coffee. No use wasting it, I'll be up anyway...
And he sings, and it should be noted that Bo is half-Toren, from Toren Stronghold, the poor part. His noble father sired him in secret, not allowing him to know of his noble identity until he came of age at 17.
So he speaks with a Toren peasant's accent, which makes some words like "passing" sound like "pausing", so this is what Calcy hears as he passes out as Bo sings him a song of his people;
It was the politics of pausing out
and other things I thought about
Wondering if, and despairing of
when you and I might meet again
Well I made up lines, I saved up quotes,
I swam through schemes, I burned with hope
Waiting for the moment when
any of this might matter again
We must burn
but burn joyfully,
and give off light Unalloyed joy
at least for tonight
Alright
Message sent to all nobles of Sandalak (20 recipients) - 8 days, 22 hours, 50 minutes ago
Over a week ago or whatever - Saenna
Calculon never ends up singing the song of Bendy Lou for Bo, as they both get smoked up and forget all about it.
But Bo ends up telling Calculon a very funny story about the time he was Dread Sovereign of Taselak for a few days, which is a story that has many laughs as well as many lessons for Calculon and others about trusting the wrong people.
Calcy loves raaha. It is the most amazing thing he has ever experienced, his already-superfast big brain suddenly working at around ten-times efficiency, the world in slow motion, but his mind of clean clinical numbers has already decided to never, ever smoke it again.
He will break this promise to himself some several times to come, but Calculon has already sensed an opportunity, and needs no one to tell him the rules of the game. Never get high on your own supply.
He rolls the hard little black seeds around in his hand inside his pocket and cocks his head at Bo.
"Bo, I'm sleepy," he says.
"Yeah, that's normal after a bit."
"Bo, I'm never sleepy."
"Yeah, I know," says Bo with a funny little tight-lipped half-smile on his giant face. His eyes look kinda sad though.
"Bo, will you sing me a song while I fall asleep?"
"A song? All I know is old songs, kid. I'm not like your boy Bard with the hippity-dippity stuff."
"That's ok," Calculon murmurs as he squinches down into his fur-lined greatcoat, coffee mug slowly tipping in his hand as his big round sleepy eyes glow with the dimming firelight.
"Alright, then," says Bo, reaching out to snatch Calculon's coffee before it falls. My coffee. No use wasting it, I'll be up anyway...
And he sings, and it should be noted that Bo is half-Toren, from Toren Stronghold, the poor part. His noble father sired him in secret, not allowing him to know of his noble identity until he came of age at 17.
So he speaks with a Toren peasant's accent, which makes some words like "passing" sound like "pausing", so this is what Calcy hears as he passes out as Bo sings him a song of his people;
It was the politics of pausing out
and other things I thought about
Wondering if, and despairing of
when you and I might meet again
Well I made up lines, I saved up quotes,
I swam through schemes, I burned with hope
Waiting for the moment when
any of this might matter again
We must burn
but burn joyfully,
and give off light Unalloyed joy
at least for tonight
Alright
#29
Roleplaying / Re: The Mercantile Mongoose: T...
Last post by JDodger - March 12, 2023, 02:29:53 AMRoleplay from Calculon Rizz Player experience level: mentor Player play preference: rp-combat
Message sent to all nobles of Sandalak (21 recipients) - 16 days, 4 hours, 57 minutes ago
"Is that raaha?" Bo asks, looking at the chunky little bud in Calculon's outstretched hand.
"Yes!!!" Calculon trills, excitedly of course, as he sips on his - or Bo's, rather - midnight coffee.
"Where the heck did you get it?" Bo asks.
"From the Bard! In East Continent!"
"Who the heck is the Bard?" Bo asks.
"He's, um... a friend of my brother's! Tetraxian! Well, well, hang on, Tetraxian is my brother, the Bard is Merec Merritson!" Calculon tries to explain. "Merec... the Bard, he gave me some of his smoky-stuff just before I left! He said it would 'Chill me out!' But it was cold there, so I didn't want to! But he insisted I keep it! So I still have it!"
"It's cold here, too," says Bo, trying to figure out a way to change Calculon's mind about smoking raaha while the back of his tired mind tickles about something else, something he can't quite drag out into the light of the crackling fire and the Saenna moon.
I don't know if anything can chill him out... he thinks, as whatever the other thing was slips away.
"A-haaa!" Calculon crows triumphantly. "But don't you see, Bo? I have been thinking about the Bard's words a great deal! And I now believe them to be a turn of phrase! Possessed of a hidden meaning, if you will!"
Uh-oh, you're starting to understand those..?
"So!" Calculon continues, paying no mind to the uncomfortable look on Bo's face, "I want to try it, Bo! It's been a loooooong time since I fought a battle now, and I'm still jittery from the kraken attack! I need to chill out!"
You sure it's not because it's past midnight, and you're on your twelfth or so cup of coffee..?
"Thank you for saving me from that kraken, by the way! And treating me to your kind - if somewhat rustic and slightly uncomfortable and dirty - hospitality while I recovered from that... those..."
"The bends," says Bo, surprised enough by Calculon thanking anyone to let the backhanded compliment slide.
"Ah, yes! The bends! Ah, yes, I was all bendy! Bendier than Bendy Lou!"
Bo blinks and looks harder at Calculon. "Bendy Lou?" he asks. Why is that name so familiar..?
"Ah, yes! Lou, Lou, Bendy Lou!" Calculon sings.
Why do I feel like I know this song? Bo muses.
Calculon continues. "You see, the Bard is a singer! He sings songs! Mostly very inappropriate and uncouth ones! Songs about crime and violence and having sex with women! He's very entertaining!"
You know what sex is now? The heck were you up to up East, Calculon Rizz?
"Hey, let me get some of that," Bo says, reaching a decision and for Calculon's cup.
To Bo's surprise, he faces no resistance, as Calculon cheerily hands him the cup and pulls out another, seemingly out of thin air, and refills it from the still-steaming kettle. "Now you're in the spirit! Come, Bo, let's get hopped-up and chilled-out!" Calculon cheers, a little extra-loudly.
Bo shushes him, looking around warily. He hasn't worn his mask out. Seeing no spies, gossips, tale-bearers, backbiters, or any other species of vermin, he turns back to the fire, takes a sip and lets the coffee start to settle in even as he mourns the loss of his sleep.
Bendy Lou...Lou, Lou, Bendy Lou... "Hey, can you sing me the rest of that song?" he asks, trying to sound casual with his cup near his lips, his breath scattering steam as he speaks and sips.
But Calculon, as largely-oblivious as he is to the intricacies of human interaction, is a shrewd-enough businessman - and more importantly, in this case, politician - to know when he has something someone wants, and how to use that to get what he wants, and his big round eyes tighten into shrewd little slits even as he smiles widely at Bo.
"Help me smoke this smoky-stuff, Bo Dodger, and I will sing you the song of Bendy Lou!" he declares.
Bo tries to protest - he's married and has three kids now, he hasn't smoked raaha in years - but to no avail. Calculon is implacable, and the tickling at the back of Bo's mind has become an itch needing to be scratched...
Message sent to all nobles of Sandalak (21 recipients) - 16 days, 4 hours, 57 minutes ago
"Is that raaha?" Bo asks, looking at the chunky little bud in Calculon's outstretched hand.
"Yes!!!" Calculon trills, excitedly of course, as he sips on his - or Bo's, rather - midnight coffee.
"Where the heck did you get it?" Bo asks.
"From the Bard! In East Continent!"
"Who the heck is the Bard?" Bo asks.
"He's, um... a friend of my brother's! Tetraxian! Well, well, hang on, Tetraxian is my brother, the Bard is Merec Merritson!" Calculon tries to explain. "Merec... the Bard, he gave me some of his smoky-stuff just before I left! He said it would 'Chill me out!' But it was cold there, so I didn't want to! But he insisted I keep it! So I still have it!"
"It's cold here, too," says Bo, trying to figure out a way to change Calculon's mind about smoking raaha while the back of his tired mind tickles about something else, something he can't quite drag out into the light of the crackling fire and the Saenna moon.
I don't know if anything can chill him out... he thinks, as whatever the other thing was slips away.
"A-haaa!" Calculon crows triumphantly. "But don't you see, Bo? I have been thinking about the Bard's words a great deal! And I now believe them to be a turn of phrase! Possessed of a hidden meaning, if you will!"
Uh-oh, you're starting to understand those..?
"So!" Calculon continues, paying no mind to the uncomfortable look on Bo's face, "I want to try it, Bo! It's been a loooooong time since I fought a battle now, and I'm still jittery from the kraken attack! I need to chill out!"
You sure it's not because it's past midnight, and you're on your twelfth or so cup of coffee..?
"Thank you for saving me from that kraken, by the way! And treating me to your kind - if somewhat rustic and slightly uncomfortable and dirty - hospitality while I recovered from that... those..."
"The bends," says Bo, surprised enough by Calculon thanking anyone to let the backhanded compliment slide.
"Ah, yes! The bends! Ah, yes, I was all bendy! Bendier than Bendy Lou!"
Bo blinks and looks harder at Calculon. "Bendy Lou?" he asks. Why is that name so familiar..?
"Ah, yes! Lou, Lou, Bendy Lou!" Calculon sings.
Why do I feel like I know this song? Bo muses.
Calculon continues. "You see, the Bard is a singer! He sings songs! Mostly very inappropriate and uncouth ones! Songs about crime and violence and having sex with women! He's very entertaining!"
You know what sex is now? The heck were you up to up East, Calculon Rizz?
"Hey, let me get some of that," Bo says, reaching a decision and for Calculon's cup.
To Bo's surprise, he faces no resistance, as Calculon cheerily hands him the cup and pulls out another, seemingly out of thin air, and refills it from the still-steaming kettle. "Now you're in the spirit! Come, Bo, let's get hopped-up and chilled-out!" Calculon cheers, a little extra-loudly.
Bo shushes him, looking around warily. He hasn't worn his mask out. Seeing no spies, gossips, tale-bearers, backbiters, or any other species of vermin, he turns back to the fire, takes a sip and lets the coffee start to settle in even as he mourns the loss of his sleep.
Bendy Lou...Lou, Lou, Bendy Lou... "Hey, can you sing me the rest of that song?" he asks, trying to sound casual with his cup near his lips, his breath scattering steam as he speaks and sips.
But Calculon, as largely-oblivious as he is to the intricacies of human interaction, is a shrewd-enough businessman - and more importantly, in this case, politician - to know when he has something someone wants, and how to use that to get what he wants, and his big round eyes tighten into shrewd little slits even as he smiles widely at Bo.
"Help me smoke this smoky-stuff, Bo Dodger, and I will sing you the song of Bendy Lou!" he declares.
Bo tries to protest - he's married and has three kids now, he hasn't smoked raaha in years - but to no avail. Calculon is implacable, and the tickling at the back of Bo's mind has become an itch needing to be scratched...
#30
Roleplaying / Re: The Mercantile Mongoose: T...
Last post by JDodger - March 12, 2023, 02:27:01 AMRoleplay from Calculon Rizz Player experience level: mentor Player play preference: rp-combat
Message sent to all nobles of Sandalak (21 recipients) - 16 days, 7 hours, 11 minutes ago
One week ago - Saenna
Calculon had really been quite ready to get back into the action, but there was a problem - a small problem, but one that was burning a hole in his pocket, and had been doing so for some time.
And so it was that, shortly after midnight, a coughing could be heard outside the tent of a soldier called by most The Silent Giant, or the Masked Giant, for he was both silent and masked with an iron war mask when in their company, and also an uncommonly tall and broad individual, hence the Giant part.
"Go away, I'm sleeping," growls the Giant, neither silent nor masked - nor even clothed - in this moment.
"No you're not! No you're not!" squeaks a familiar, protesting voice from outside. "You're talking, so you're not sleeping! Let me in, Bo!"
The Giant sometime named Bo Dodger sighs. Well, the little fella does keep bread on my table... "Fine, fine. Come on in, Calculon," he groans as he rises and throws on a sealskin tunic.
Calculon bursts through the tent-flap just as Bo achieves some semblance of modesty, his big round eyes bulging out of his big round head with excitement about - something. Really, he just kind of always looks like that.
"Do you have any coffee?!?!?" he asks the Giant as his big round eyes dart around the small - by Giant standards - tent.
Bo sighs again. "Calculon, it's gotta be past midnight. Coffee time's over for most of us til the morning. What do you need mine for, anyway? You're the one with the Sandalak estate. I'm just an anonymous ice-fisher-hunter these days, except when you come and drag me off to some thankless battle."
Calculon's eyes bulge even wider as he visibly constrains his ever-prickly frustration. He stammers slightly as he attempts to compose a response.
"W-w-we-well..! I should think that my gold is thanks enough..!"
Bo cuts him off with a wave of a giant hand and sighs again. "Alright, fine. Sure, I'm grateful to you, Calc. I got a big ol' Toren wife and three big ol' three-quarter Toren kids to feed back in Rhic. The occasional scrap-for-cash does help out when the fish ain't biting."
Calculon's wide face splits open in a big-toothed grin. "So you'll make some coffee?!?!?" he asks with preemptive glee.
Bo sighs a third time. "Yeah, fine," he says at length, and begins digging through his pack to find his coffee tin. "You got water boiling?"
"Of course! A strategic strategist like myself always plans ahead!" Calculon chirps with glee as he grabs the coffee tin from Bo and bursts back out of the tent flap.
Well, you could have planned ahead and brought enough coffee... the Silent Giant sometime known as Bo Dodger says silently as he turns back toward his walrus-hide sleeping bag.
Calculon pokes his big round face back through the tent flap. "Well?!?! Aren't you joining me?!?!?"
Bo sighs a fourth time, throws on his sealskin breeches, and walks out into the chilly Saenna night to see what the hell his boss wants.
Message sent to all nobles of Sandalak (21 recipients) - 16 days, 7 hours, 11 minutes ago
One week ago - Saenna
Calculon had really been quite ready to get back into the action, but there was a problem - a small problem, but one that was burning a hole in his pocket, and had been doing so for some time.
And so it was that, shortly after midnight, a coughing could be heard outside the tent of a soldier called by most The Silent Giant, or the Masked Giant, for he was both silent and masked with an iron war mask when in their company, and also an uncommonly tall and broad individual, hence the Giant part.
"Go away, I'm sleeping," growls the Giant, neither silent nor masked - nor even clothed - in this moment.
"No you're not! No you're not!" squeaks a familiar, protesting voice from outside. "You're talking, so you're not sleeping! Let me in, Bo!"
The Giant sometime named Bo Dodger sighs. Well, the little fella does keep bread on my table... "Fine, fine. Come on in, Calculon," he groans as he rises and throws on a sealskin tunic.
Calculon bursts through the tent-flap just as Bo achieves some semblance of modesty, his big round eyes bulging out of his big round head with excitement about - something. Really, he just kind of always looks like that.
"Do you have any coffee?!?!?" he asks the Giant as his big round eyes dart around the small - by Giant standards - tent.
Bo sighs again. "Calculon, it's gotta be past midnight. Coffee time's over for most of us til the morning. What do you need mine for, anyway? You're the one with the Sandalak estate. I'm just an anonymous ice-fisher-hunter these days, except when you come and drag me off to some thankless battle."
Calculon's eyes bulge even wider as he visibly constrains his ever-prickly frustration. He stammers slightly as he attempts to compose a response.
"W-w-we-well..! I should think that my gold is thanks enough..!"
Bo cuts him off with a wave of a giant hand and sighs again. "Alright, fine. Sure, I'm grateful to you, Calc. I got a big ol' Toren wife and three big ol' three-quarter Toren kids to feed back in Rhic. The occasional scrap-for-cash does help out when the fish ain't biting."
Calculon's wide face splits open in a big-toothed grin. "So you'll make some coffee?!?!?" he asks with preemptive glee.
Bo sighs a third time. "Yeah, fine," he says at length, and begins digging through his pack to find his coffee tin. "You got water boiling?"
"Of course! A strategic strategist like myself always plans ahead!" Calculon chirps with glee as he grabs the coffee tin from Bo and bursts back out of the tent flap.
Well, you could have planned ahead and brought enough coffee... the Silent Giant sometime known as Bo Dodger says silently as he turns back toward his walrus-hide sleeping bag.
Calculon pokes his big round face back through the tent flap. "Well?!?! Aren't you joining me?!?!?"
Bo sighs a fourth time, throws on his sealskin breeches, and walks out into the chilly Saenna night to see what the hell his boss wants.