Sir or Lord or ??

[Anaris]

Aren't also Heros refered to as 'Sir'??

Not particularly. At least, nowhere that I've ever seen.

[Indirik]

And the newbie has not yet pledged an Oath of Flealty (or whatever it is called these days...(under the new system...)), and doesn't yet command an estate, so he isn't exactly a knight either... 
Now what should I have used? 

Sir and Lady are good generic titles that can be used for any noble who does not have a lordship or council position.

[Kmap]

Right Thanks!

[egamma]

And the newbie has not yet pledged an Oath of Flealty (or whatever it is called these days...(under the new system...)), and doesn't yet command an estate, so he isn't exactly a knight either... 
Now what should I have used? 

"Freeze you Rebel Scum!"

[vonGenf]

I use "Lord" for any male noble without a position.

I also tend to use use Lord for someone whom it would be inappropriate to call simply "Sir", but who either has no current specific titles, or has so many title that it gets confusing to choose which title to use to address them. Elders of religions other than my own, for example.

The "proper" title for regional lords is baron or count or whichever is attached to their region, I don't think "Lord" is usually seen as strictly attached to the region lords.

[Bael]

Aren't also Heros referred to as 'Sir'??

And the newbie has not yet pledged an Oath of Flealty (or whatever it is called these days...(under the new system...)), and doesn't yet command an estate, so he isn't exactly a knight either... 
Now what should I have used? 

In my view, the one title that I can use for just about anyone (but especially people who are just starting) is "Noble". They are most definitely a noble, regardless of whatever else they may be, especially the people who are just starting out without any titles (except the debated upon "Sir, perhaps), while at the same time it can also be referring to the nature of the person (a compliment).

[Anaris]

In my view, the one title that I can use for just about anyone (but especially people who are just starting) is "Noble". They are most definitely a noble, regardless of whatever else they may be, especially the people who are just starting out without any titles (except the debated upon "Sir, perhaps), while at the same time it can also be referring to the nature of the person (a compliment).

But, again, I doubt very strongly that anyone would have written, "Noble Kepler Dolohov, I disagree with everything you have said." It's just not a title of the sort that is used as a prefix.

[fodder]

... you don't go around calling an advy sir.. even if it's there. because they ain't nobles.

[Zakilevo]

... you don't go around calling an advy sir.. even if it's there. because they ain't nobles.

Yep they are just a commoner. Call them freeman.

[Bael]

But, again, I doubt very strongly that anyone would have written, "Noble Kepler Dolohov, I disagree with everything you have said." It's just not a title of the sort that is used as a prefix.

If we're going for realistic, howcome we haven't seen any links yet?

[Anaris]

If we're going for realistic, howcome we haven't seen any links yet?

Because I'm a medieval hobbyist, not a medieval scholar, and I'm going off an understanding based on a lifetime of relevant fiction and growing up with a medievalist, rather than any actual research.

However, I believe if you asked any of the actual medieval scholars on the board, they'd tell you the same thing, and be able to cite sources.

(At least, to the extent that one can cite sources to support, "This wasn't something that people did." That's asking to prove a negative.)

[Shizzle]

Flowchart? Here's what I use, in general

Q: Is he/she of noble blood?
     N: Refer to as Freeman or without title for outlaws/lackeys
Q: Does he/she have a Lordly estate?
     N: Sir or Lady will do. I use Dame only for unfamiliar people. No difference between knights with or without estates (~Imperial Knights)
     Y: Lord or Lady. If a Lord yourself and of lower esteem (Viscount or Count), use more appriopriate title if appliccable, e.g. Margrave/Earl/Count.
         If you are of higher standing (Ruler, Duke of Councillor) always use Lord. They are beneath your standing, their quarrels/ranking do not concern you.
Q: Is he/she a Duke or Duchess?
     A: Use Your Grace in private conversation/letters, Duke in public messaging. Depends on relationship (I feel Duke is less personal)
Q: Councillor?
     A: Use council title in the context of the relevant position. E.g. General when discussing military matters, Banker for food/economy.
         Also on formal occasions, and in the eyes of their peers
Q: Ruler?
     A: Unless personal, use correct title in heading, Y.M. in text. First time adressing, use the surname and realm, e.g. King Kepler of        Keplerstan

Basically, if you address someone higher in the chain, make clear that you understand the exact position of your contact to avoid insulting them. If you address someone beneath your standing, it's of less importance as long as you are formally right.

One thing that always bothers me, though, are the suffixes characters bear even after they have lost a position. For instance 'Kepler Dolohov (Duke), Knight of Keplerville'. I try to decide on the context there. I wouldn't use Your Grace for (foreign)ex-Dukes, but I would use Lord, even if they have no Lordly estate. Royal Lord sometimes for ex-Rulers.

Does this make any sense? Of course many of this is highly dependant on the realm you play in.

Also: equally interesting is the way you end a letter. I've always liked Vellos' "Pleasant days and pleasant nights" (or something? tried looking it up, but I don't have any letters left). I always find it rude not to have anything between the signature and the body of text, certainly for foreign rulers. I can't imagine they simply sent tweets to each other like that - certainly not on Dwi Though I have sinned against this principle myself.

[Perth]

Also: equally interesting is the way you end a letter. I've always liked Vellos' "Pleasant days and pleasant nights" (or something? tried looking it up, but I don't have any letters left). I always find it rude not to have anything between the signature and the body of text, certainly for foreign rulers. I can't imagine they simply sent tweets to each other like that - certainly not on Dwi Though I have sinned against this principle myself.

(I think it's "Long Days and Pleasant Nights" and its actually from the Triunist faith... I actually haven't paid attention to if he has still been using it since he converted. But OOC I think its from some book series or something.)

I really enjoy the sign-offs aspect as well. It is perhaps one of the most dynamic parts of letter writing and can tell you a whole lot about someone.

"Respectfully," is always good for nobles above you and especially ones you do not know. "Yours," or "Respectfully Yours," for those close friends. And then I usually always try to come up with a standard sign-off for each of my characters.

[Velax]

One thing that always bothers me, though, are the suffixes characters bear even after they have lost a position. For instance 'Kepler Dolohov (Duke), Knight of Keplerville'. I try to decide on the context there. I wouldn't use Your Grace for (foreign)ex-Dukes, but I would use Lord, even if they have no Lordly estate. Royal Lord sometimes for ex-Rulers.

Why do Dukes keep that title when they're not Dukes anymore? And does that still happen with the new system?

[Shizzle]

Why do Dukes keep that title when they're not Dukes anymore? And does that still happen with the new system?

Looks like it does. More surprisingly, it carried over between realms as well