The Lonely Girl - Jocelin
Jocelin responded eagerly to the boys' attention and gave it back pound for pound. They spoke of horses and playing in the garden: she confessed her love of fish and painting. The golden lady finished eating long before the dinner was actually done but continued to accept the eldest brother's offerings, and when he performed a trick with his hands she took a spoon and waggled it so that it seemed to bend. Immediately both of them wanted to learn and picked up their own. Aldrakar II's swordsmanship held him in good stead, but it was Asher who caught on fastest to how she did it. When they asked for more she shook her head, "My brother never taught me any of his tricks, and I only learned that from watching so often."
When their energy began flagging she lowered her voice, and finally fell silent. Beside her Asher fought to stay upright and failed, slumping against her side. He blinked owlishly at his father across the table, content. Jocelin finished the last of her wine with her free hand (for her other was trapped under the sleeping boy) and leaned back in her seat. She remained that way until Aldrakar summoned Madelin to take the boys away, and when they were gone she smiled at him. "I don't think I need to tell you you should be proud." It appeared as though something occurred to her then, and she looked thoughtfully at the direction the boys had gone. "Their nurse..?" She never finished the question.
While the staff cleared the dishes away she looked out into the gardens. The moon had risen higher and no longer framed the flowers hanging over the entrance; instead, it reflected in the rippling surface of Aldrakar II's watery nemesis, doubling its light and beauty. She heard Aldrakar inviting her to admire the flowers and rose, adjusting her skirts to follow. Her hands smoothed the red cotton self-consciously as she checked for stains or crumbs; finding none, Jocelin slipped her arm through his. Though at first she thought nothing of it, it was only when they were alone that she became acutely aware of the heat and weight of his arm against hers. Their proximity was no closer than what she would experience with her father (or in that same vein, Rynn), but the darkness made it seem more... intimate. The closest experience she'd had to the uncomfortable quickening of her pulse or the sudden awareness of his shape under his clothes had been with Erasmus, and even then... it was no secret that their marriage had been political, and himself twice her age.
She pushed the comparison away and let herself enjoy the walk. The aviary they passed veritably glowed in the moonlight, and the white flowers with their dark hearts seemed to watch their passing like eyes on their vines. Her gaze lingered on a pale blue gem with gold trim, and she reached out and touched the blossom in passing. The scent that followed from the stirred flower made her glance back... but of course, it had disappeared into the dark. She stored it away for later, fully intending to ask about it when Aldrakar spoke. "It's good to see you are in good health, I feared I'd never actually get to see you, ever." Her smile was shyer, especially when he lifted his arm over her. Jocelin's stammered reply was unintelligible, and she was grateful for the dark that hid her blush.
When they came to the brook she stopped. The tropical flowers were unfamiliar and out of place in her memories... but the closeness of the woods and the scent and sound of running water under the fragrance of flowers sent a wave of homesickness through her. Her heart ached for Thysan and her ancestral estate, and the nostalgia lingered until he spoke again. The peace that had filled her that evening was gone in an instant, replaced by resentment. She remained silent until he stopped to pluck a flower, and when he offered it to her she hesitated, not taking it. Her eyes were full of reproach when they met his. "You could have trusted me."
"You've always got so much to say... yet you gloss over an apology long overdue? I wasn't just hurt, Aldrakar: I was in the dark, and never have I needed more--" Kindness. The word went unsaid because he already knew; had already received her letters. She had called him cruel. Even meeting him and realizing it for a falsehood didn't mean she was ready to forgive him.
Jocelin shook her head. "You bring me here, and you show me such beautiful things, and all I can see is how untouched it is by the war. And it makes my heart glad to see you and your boys safe... but do you know how many years of my life are made worthless by that knowledge?" How many dead? I can't even remember all their names anymore, and I swore I'd never forget. Jocelin couldn't help it: her eyes shone wetly in the dark, and she wiped them away with the back of her hand. She tried to speak but couldn't, turning away instead. It was unfortunate she was so tall: the pearl net that held her hair snagged on a low-hanging branch, and her struggling only managed to tear it free. Most of it remained intact, but a few white pearls fell away and bounded into the darkness. Her hair --ethereal and wispy-- fell free, bound in a braid that looked to be unravelling. She held her hairnet and made an angry sound before throwing him a dirty look that was equal parts petulant and embarrassed.