I think Solaria is overly-ambitious and setting itself up for future betrayal due to its self-imposed dominance over the whole of the Lurias ;-) All that rises shall fall.
I think Asylon is a good nation and remain worthy allies but Glaumring is a self-righteous delirious nutjob who doesn't see he spread weakness and disease born of his own mistakes, upon which we faced a choice of either cutting off an infected limb in order to save the remnants or letting the entire body die. The only reason anything happened between Asylon-Terran in the negative sense is entirely due to Glaumrings IC, and sometimes just a utterly ridiculous OOC behavior. We never had a problem with Asylon itself, the problem was entirely with its leader utterly ruining the country through terrible diplomatic skill and bad management. You seem like a nice enough guy in OOC but you're serious deluded with some of the attitudes you portray IC and OOC, and my training and knowledge of psychology keeps pushing me toward the notion that you have deep-seated self-esteem and/or abandonment issues that make you hunger for a target for you to deviate attention, blame, and sense of guilt from yourself unto others because you despise !@#$ing up yet can't stop trying to accomplish what you believe must be done.
Don't take this as a psychological profile, I can't possibly give an accurate portrayal of someone's personality and internal stressors based on a set of incomplete behavioral patterns on a friggin'
roleplaying game. :-P
I know for a fact that your IC issues stem from OOC stressors and something in your history for which you are consciously, or more than likely subconsciously, attempting to compensate via the manifestation of suck reckless heroics and self-elevation through adversity as the fateful martyr of northeastern Dwilight.
I honestly think you could do much with the assistance of a counselor. Hell, we all could. I'm a counselor myself and I need counseling for !@#$ sake
To be honest, in a perfect world, every single human being would have two or more counselors. We ALL need someone who is detached from our life so as to have no stake nor bias in either direction, experienced in the nuances and pragmatic truths of behavioral science, and both able and willing to offer an objective and unbiased look into your behavioral patterns(temporary and everchanging like weather) and overall personality (long-term and less flexible like climate), outline spikes in undesirable/harmful occurrences, and be the tool that will teach you self-sufficiency rather than stand as a pillar of stability - of which all are destined to fall.
It is better to teach a man to love himself, value what he has, and fight for what he believes is right, rather than be the sole object of a man's love or affection, allow him to value others before himself, or fight for the wants and needs of others rather than his own.
You're a good dude, Glaumring, and I really appreciate what you bring to the table. I just honestly think you should distance yourself from all the stressors that push you over the edge and allow yourself some time to contemplate what triggers you, why, and how you react so that you can benefit in general and improve not only your ability to coherently roleplay, as our imaginary personality can only be as stable as our real personality, as well as your professional, intimate, and inter-personal relations.
The best thing you could ever have possibly done was give up your position as King. It was causing way too much stress and was the primary trigger of your woes... This might sound strange, but individuals may become addicted to the 'need', the feeling of being useful, necessary, powerful, or in a dangerous situation. Its the adrenaline rush of it all... I myself am guilty of being co-dependent as well as addicted to the rush of "martyrdom", in which you get yourself into !@#$ situations or allow !@#$ situations to manifest because you're confident you can get through them or feel the need to overcome them, or feel you're the best man for the job, when in reality its your brain satisfying its overbearing desire and addiction to those special little brain chemicals that make you feel the way you do...
I am terribly sorry if you feel uncomfortable or insulted by anything I said. For all I know you could be laughing right now as my assessment is as far from the truth as humanly possible, or you could quite literally be crying as you realize the truth of my words. Or you might just be wondering what the hell Ehndras is on about at 1 in the morning. Nonetheless, if you *do* wish to discuss this, or anything really, my inbox is always open and my arms and ears welcome to anyone who needs a helping hand, the reassurance of an honest friend, or the advice of someone who's been through hell, survived to tell the story, and dedicates his life to both ensuring that no one ever has to suffer through the hell I did, as well as caring for those who've gone through my journey and lost something along the way.
Take care of yourself, my friend.
(How the !@#$ did I get this off-topic? JEEZE.)
